Am I nuts to consider this placement?

Hi Vickie!! I'm new here, but I just had to respond to your post. Those sweet babies need a loving home, and you were probably meant to be their new Mommy!! I'm sure it will all work out. Don't worry about the space (size of your house) problem - kids do just fine with sharing their bedrooms. Be prepared thought - raising three so close in age will be very similar to raising triplets, which can be very trying!!! Those little boogers just love to feed off of each other's mischief! :-)) LOL What state do you live in? Are you in the foster-to-adopt program or are you in the foster care program? I live in Georgia, and my husband and I are in the process of taking the IMPACT classes here. We have been told that we can not be active in both programs at the same time - we have to choose one program or the other. That really stinks because we would really like to do both. We would love to help children that need a safe, temporary place to stay, but we would also like to eventually expand our family through adoption when a child comes along that needs a permanent placement. If we enter just the foster care program, we won't be considered for children that become available to enter the foster-to-adopt program. However, if a child that we are fostering becomes available for adoption, we will be allowed to adopt that child if we want to. We worried about entering the foster-to-adopt program because we may have to wait forever before we have a placement since we are looking for younger children between the ages of 0 and 3. We have two six year-olds adopted from Russia five years ago, and feel that the younger babies or toddlers will fit in with our family much better. We're really in a dilemma about what to do. I'm also worried about fostering because I know it will be so heartbreaking for my other two adopted children to separate when it is time for foster children to leave us (we were told the majority of the foster children eventually go back to their birth families). Of course it will also be heartbreaking for my husband and me, but we are willing to make that sacrifice to help the children in need of a safe, loving, temporary place to stay - I'm more worried about my two six-year-olds and how they will handle it. They understand that babies or little children may be coming to live with us for a while because their own Mommy's or Daddy's can't take care of them for a little while, but they probably won't be staying. They seem to understand this, but I wonder how hard it will really be for them when it's time to separate. How did your other children handle this? We've got so much to worry about, and I'm a worrier by nature! I just don't know what to do. Any advice or feedback would be much appreciated. Sorry for rambling on so long. Its great to have this forum to chat with others! Good luck with your new little ones and the finalization of your adoption of your baby girl!! You have obviously been so blessed! Karol Adoptive Mom to Alex (b. 03/20/98, a. 10/99) and Lena (b. 08/22/98, a. 10/99) both from Khabarovsk, Russia.

Vicki....how exciting!!! They sound alot like our 2. They said our 2 yo had a strange gait, too and she is in speech therapy. Our little guy has some feeding issues. Both of them are absolutely WONDERFUL and as far as I'm concerned perfect in every way. I don't expect any longterm delays with them. We've met 2 of their older sibs and they are on track if not ahead developmentally. Their aparents described a very similar history when they were younger. One of them didn't talk well until 3 and is now just fine. I am just so happy for you.....keep us posted!!!

Thanks for responding!! Karol, how exciting to have adopted from Russia. We thought seriously about that before adopting our 7 yo. We were thinking Russia or Korea as those kids seem to be the healthiest. We also are drawn to Haiti, and will probably end up going there some day, at least to volunteer at God's Littlest Angels. As for your questions, we are in CA, so I have NO idea how GA works. Here in CA, we are in a program that is designed for 0-3 yo's that are removed mostly due to drug abuse. It is called Options for Recovery. And, of course, the ultimate goal is reunification. But, in many cases (as in our foster daughter and these 2 we are praying we get) the bios already have had kids taken before, or are in prison or going to prison soon and so they are not offered "services" through the county. So, most of these bios cannot or will not do what they have to do to get their kids back, so they are considered "fast-tracked" for adoption and placed with a foster home that is wanting to adopt. Then you pray like heck that no "wonderful family member" shows up out of the woodwork and claims they want to raise the kids. That rarely happens as the bios have usually cut themselves off from their families by that time. We are considered a fost/adopt home and here that means we are willing to do the work to help reunification, but failing that we will consider adoption. It has worked beautifully with our J and these 2 new ones (M and D) seem to have a similar situation. There will be no visitation by bios, no services offered bios and they are nearly ready to sign away their rights. We go to meet them in about an hour. I am so excited, nervous, etc!! I spoke with shelter home mom and she cannot say enough good things about these babies. D sleeps through the night already at 3 mo old! YIPPEE!! He smiles and coos and is adorable. M is sweet and loving and gentle to the older small children in her care. She can only say Mama and Up, but understands everything! So, I think once she is in her forever home she will do much much better. Dana, Thanks for your comments as well. I am glad to hear that our hopefully new babies sound like yours and are doing great. I feel, from the bottom of my toes that these babies are meant to be with us. When shelter mom was describing their appearance, they sound like us! Light brown hair, huge brown eyes... :) Do I sound like a mama in love already or what?!?!?! LOL!! Well, gotta go get ready to meet the little angels! Hugs and thanks, Vickie

I cannot believe how much has happened today! We went this morning to meet baby boy D and 20 mo M. I held D almost the whole hour we were there. He is adorable! Already smiling and cooing and I even got a few giggles! M is pretty shy, but when I sat on the floor to play with some blocks, she joined in and I even got a little smile!! When we got home, there was a message from the SW that we were chosen for M and D as their fost/adopt family!! :D We will get them tomorrow morning. We spent this evening getting everything all set up, washed all the new bedding and the few clothes I bought them. A (our 7 yo) is so excited! She now gets to share her room with 2 baby girls!!! D will be in our room. M looks alot like our foster/adopt dau J. They are the same size, coloring and everything! D is a BIG baby boy! He is already 15 lbs at 3 mos!! Anyways, please pray for us that the children transition to our home easily!! Hugs, Vickie

Congratulations Vickie!! I know you must be absolutely elated!! How are you going to sleep tonight? I'm so happy for you! Please keep us posted on how everything works out for you with your newest babies!

OMGosh.....how exciting!!! Can't wait to hear how it goes. Our 2 share a room for now even though they are boy and girl, because they are so young. They wake up every morning and jabber to each other in their own special language. I'm SO glad that you can keep these guys together. I think they will thank you forever for letting them have that awesome gift. Keep us posted!!!

UPDATE!!!! Why the heck can't CPS get things right? I am beyond livid, as well as extremely disappointed!!! Got to shelter home to pick up D and M this morning, was snuggling up with D and laughing at M hugging J!! Shelter home's phone rang and it was the NEW SW who just got the kids case THIS morning!! She was putting the brakes on any move of the children until SHE met them and figured out their needs and SHE could find a placement. I got on the phone and swallowed many unmentionable words and was as polite as possible. We were not told a new SW was going to be assigned. The other SW as well as licensing approved the placement to us yesterday! Those people know my family well and were very happy for us! Well, this new SW got all huffy and said that until SHE has a chance to review everything, there WILL NOT be a move till at least Monday. She is concerned that we have J, yada yada yada! All this I went through with SW and licensing yesterday and they approved it no problem! We spent all evening last night setting up their room, washing baby clothes, A picking out her favorite stuffies to share with them! I cannot believe they waited until I was nearly packing them up into their car seats to make this wonderful decision! I called licensing, placement worker, SW from yesterday, had to leave messages everywhere! What the heck would they have done if we had decided to pick them up last evening like we were thinking of? Came here and remove them??? Now, unless a miracle occurs and someone actually calls me back, we have to wait till Monday to see if we are approved for the placement, AGAIN!! Shaking my head in wonder, Vickie

OMG.. that is awful!!!! Please let us know what happens.. Hopefully they will figure this all out ASAP. Mandy

Hi again! I spoke with about everyone I could think of. All the folks from yesterday are shocked that this has happened. Actually, CPS is blaming Adoptions worker and Adoptions worker is blaming CPS. It seems to be a major "who has more power" issue. :eek: HELLO!!! We are ALL in this for the children's best interest, right??? NOT who is the most powerful! ERRRRR!!!! :mad: Licensing, who I do believe has alot to do with approving a placement such as this one, as well as the placement worker for CPS still feel we are the best choice of family for these babies. They both told me to try to relax, let Adoptions do their strutting and searching for reasons not to have them placed with us. Then, when on Monday Adoptions can't come up with a really good reason, they will be placed with us. Seems SO stupid and so frustrating, and not fair to those kids who have to be moved by Tuesday! At least I got to snuggle them both up again today! M played peek a boo with me and smiled and giggled alot with J. D is such a cuddley baby boy! If any of you have any spare prayers this weekend, please, please send them our way! Hugs, Vickie

Vickie, Please keep us up-to-date.I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.Christina

[font=Comic Sans MS]Vickie,That is just terrible!!! I am sorry this junk is happening! I'll be praying for you and the kids!![/font]

Hi again. Well, lots has happened since I last posted. CPS/adoptions decided to place these 2 babies with a family that didn't have any other kids. We were pretty sad, but understand their thinking. A day after that decision, we got a 3 month old foster baby boy. He was beyond sweet, we all fell in love with him instantly. Yesterday they moved him to his maternal grandparents. I got to meet them and they are awesome folks. We are very sad but know he will do great. So, just waiting for the phone to ring again! We LOVED having an infant again and I think that is what we will wait for, or at least under a year old. Hope everyone is doing great! Hugs, Vickie