How to increase chances of being matched with a child?

I think the main thing is how open you are to age, race, sibling groups and special needs. We submitted our homestudy for about 40 kids and ended up being considered for about 3 kids/sibling groups. Most people want younger children (5 and under) and white children. We were open to any race, and up to age 11. What we found very quickly was that if we submitted our homestudy on a white child, especially a girl, they would already have a hundred home studies. Yet for many of the AA children we looked at,they had few homestudies, especially for the boys. We ended up being matched with a wonderful little girl from NJ, who is AA and 10 years old. NJ was wonderful to deal with throughout the process. The first thing is to think carefully about what kind of child is right for your home. Especially think about what kind of special needs you can handle. You never know what will make you stand out to a worker. Maybe your job or hobbies or pets sound like something that will click with a particular child - sometimes it's just the worker's gut feeling. Put yourself out there a lot, don't get emotionally attached to any 1 child you see on a photolisting, and stay positive - it will happen!

Dana Dane,I've successfully adopted two special needs boys from two different states and I can tell you the big secret...... There isn't one! Who knows why a worker selects you over another family? They liked your photos? They liked the classes you've attended? They vacationed once in your area and thought it would be a great place to raise a child? They liked the diversity of your family/friends? They liked the rock climbing wall in the playroom of your home? Who knows.When I know we're going to the selection committee (the SWs have narrowed it down to under 10 families), I've made color copies of photo collages - one for everyone on the committee (so everyone can look at once) - I've made a video - I've sent tourist brochures for our area (we're a big tourist destination) - I've sent letters of recommendation from people in our town (mayor, pastor, principal, etc.) - I interviewed my other son for his opinion.........But I couldn't tell you exactly what we had that was more or better than other families. Here's something to ponder, however - the SWs are looking for the best child(ren) for the family, not the best family for the child. (if that makes sense) - Tell them how the child would benefit, not your family. SWs are looking for a variety of things - and they're not going to tell you what they are. So think of it from the child's point of view! Hope that helps.Sandy

I would say to make sure you are in your worker's mind. Call her at least every two weeks, send a card and a photo periodically. Remind her how eager you are, and what you are looking for. I was shocked to find that our worker got a bit mixed up on our criteria (thought it was more narrow than it was). Remember that they are dealing with a large case load. We also made a cute photo album for our futur child, which our SW ended up showing to childrens' workers. Again, they can keep you in mind if a child comes along. Good luck!

The waiting period is just a nightmare. It feels like there is just no rhyme or reason to it. I think a lot of this boils down to dumb luck. They get the homestudies, they need to present some certain amount, say, 5, to a committee or their supervisor, or whatever. What I suspect happens is that there are 50 homestudies on the desk, but they take them from the top, and as soon as they come up with 5 acceptable ones, they stop looking. We had a few potential matches that we had to turn down, but we were matched with our 3 after 9 months. What made us stand out is that I'm latina, bilingual, and a child welfare lawyer (SAHM now, though). My husband has an MSW. We wanted a sibling group. We were open to a group from infant to age 10, but put in homestudies on sibling groups where there were kids up to 12. We live in Chicago in one of the most diverse neighborhoods in the city, if not the country. I had a LOAD of training. I did not work, but dedicated what would have been a work day to my adoption search. They liked that I would be a SAHM. Some did not like that we had no experience as parents, but some liked that there wouldn't be other kids in the home. You just don't know. You will make yourself crazy trying to figure it out. Some states are just nuts. I would put California in that category--a totally overwhelmed system that makes adoption just such a pain. Their website tells you upfront not to respect a response from them for WEEKS. I think the ideas the other posters listed are fantastic. Other ideas: attending adoption fairs, as hard as they must be to take, because you'll meet kids, get a better sense of what your preferences really are in terms of what kind of kid would fit in your family, but also to meet workers. Also, there are several states that let you participate in a family listing, so that motivated workers can check you out to see if you are a match for their kids. Ultimately, our adoption worker located our kids in our own city, and suggested placing the kids with us when they needed to be moved from their foster placement. I do believe God matches you, but you have to deal with a lot of bureaucratic indifference and incompetence till you get your kids. Good luck!

You know it really is interesting how differently things are done in different states and even different counties. A friend of mine who is adopting though our county warned me to not get too excited when they call about a child, because there may be other families in considerations still. That happened to her. When they called us I asked how many other families were being considered, and they said, "none...we have chosen you." When we asked again during the presentation, it was my understanding that they never considered any other families. I could be wrong about that, but this all happened very fast because she needed to be moved quickly from her current foster home. But still, she went to an emergency foster home before she came to us. That was the silly part. We had do to visits over the course of a week even though she had only been in the new foster home for three days before we met her. The SW said the visits were more for our older daughter, to ease into it. Anyway, I have gotten off subject here. I guess my point is that I think in our case, M became available and the two SW's (ours at least...maybe her SW also) had us in mind immediately. Again, I could be wrong. But another interesting point is that our homestudy was not even written up yet when we were matched. Some of my very early threads here were about how frustrated I was that our SW had finished all our interviews but had not written up the homestudy. She actually wrote it up after our presentation meeting to find out about M! Well...I probably have not made any sense at all. Anyway, the waiting is very hard. However, try to take time for yourself now and pamper yourself. I wish I had done that more, rather than spending my days scouring the Waiting Children's Listings. Once you have a child you will most likely be exhausted and have little time to yourself! Have a great day!

Thanks for your response. It helps me realize that there really is no rhyme or reason for the matching process. We've already made it to the final cut for two children (final 3 for one child and final 20 for another) however, we weren't selected. The first child we weren't selected for, I took it very hard. However, the second time it happened I handeled it alot better. I'm beginning to understand the importance of not getting attached to anyone one child. All I can do is keep searching and keep hope. I wish you and your family the best. Take care.