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Maybe I am being over protective, but we are transitioning 2 girls, ages 4 & 7 to our home.
The request of goal change to adoption has already been done, we are waiting for the court.
However till that is done, there is no TPR and biomom still has contact with kids.
Current foster mom has mentioned to us several times that she believes bio mom is getting ready to 'run' with the girls. She has run with them before - she knew they were about to be taken by CPS so she took them out of the country. When she got herself in a bind w/ no money she called for help to get home.
The county has inforrmed biomom that the girls are being moved, and what town we live in. Now biomom is pushing the girls for info about their new house and because we live across the street from a decent landmark, it is easy for her to narrow the house down to one of 7-10 at most.
I had called the social workers when the current foster mom mentioned it, and they were very uninterested. So today I stopped at the police department to give them a 'heads up' that the girls are being placed with us. The officer was VERY nice, took all our info and siad he would let the other officers know in case we had to call. When he asked the biomoms name, I gave it, and he recknogized it! EEEK! She lives about 30 minutes away in a much larger town, I have no clue what she has done to already have a reputation in my town (which is fairly small) I again called social workers and their answer was "When she takes the girls, just call the cops', and "bioparents want to make the courts happy, so they won't do something like that!"
Are these people stupid?
So I am prepared to have my house locked at all times (we live semi rurual, so it normally isn't), girls absouletely can not be outside bythemselves, and I will try and direct them to the more 'remote' area of the yard that is harder to see from the road. We (hubby and I) have developed an 'emergency plan' if she shows up at the house. I will take the girls to a remote area of the house, so they won't be able to hear any confrontation w/ bio mom, and hubby will deal with her while we wait for cops to arrive.
Can anyone offer other suggestions? I know these girls should know our address, phone number,etc But I don't want bio mom pushing them for the info. I thought about starting by teaching the girls our cell phone numbers (which we both carry at all times)?
Is there anyway to explain to the girls??????
FYI - the girls are both very smart, but are not to the point with biomom of believing that she won't come through on her many many promises.
Diane
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Geez, your social workers sound like they need jobs in a different field.
Have you considered installing a security system? At the very least, you would a "panic" button that connects to the police instantly.
We just got one installed for similar reasons. Cell phone numbers sound like they would be better for the girls to know since they aren't attached to your home address.
Are the girls in school or daycare? If so, are they dropped off by you or by bus? Mom could try and take them off the bus or try and take them out of school.
Make sure the personnel know the basics of the situation and not to release the girls to anyone but you and dh.
Also, try and get the girls to learn a "password" and have them practice using it. Make it clear that they don't tell the password to anyone and if the person trying to pick them up doesn't know it, then they don't go. This includes people they know. You could even have them practice at home by having familiar people act out scenarios with them and have them practice asking for the secret word and then saying no when the adult doesn't know it.
It may or may not work for them with bio-mom but you never know.
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Exactly! I realize they deal with the bio parents every day and we are 'new' to it but they are all forgetting the focus - the kids!
I really like the password idea we will start to work on that.
I have considered the alarm system too, I will have to make some more calls about costs and such.
The schools are aware of the situation, I think we are ok there.
Diane
The password system is a really good idea. I realize you have already talked to the police department, but I would go one step further. Our area has enhanced 911. There is an area in the display that will allow for remarks to be entered by the department. When our phone number comes up on 911, the dispatcher is advised that I am a single adult with four small children, two of which are state wards. That way, if our number is connected to 911 and no one at our home answers, they have basic information. When I have had children with flight risk placed in my home before, their bparents' names were in the remarks section, also.
Sam
TY sooo much! I just called and spoke with our 911 director! Their computer aided dispatch system does have an ability to do this (unfotunately not their answering system - but I will take what I can get)
They advised me that the 'information' entered is to be officially provided by the individaul police stations, but they are contacting the local police to see about getting a notation, especially since I live RIGHT on the line between two police departments.
Keep the ideas coming! You guys are great!
Diane