Question on Foster kids names

We've had children who come with a nickname or name they prefer to be called instead of their birth name. We haven't changed names until we got the the adoption point with both of our now sons. We did have children with really long cumbersome names that were difficult for everyone to pronounce so we shortened them. I know quite a few people who do this. Our cwer was fine with it as well.

I have called all of my foster kids nicknames of their original birth names. But they've all been infants and didn't know any better :)

We call all of ours by their given names with the exception of our youngest current fs. We call him by his middle name rather than his first name. His mom calls him by a nickname though and his dad calls him by his middle name as well. (mom and dad are not together...imagine that huh?)

We've always called our foster babies by their given names at home, but for security/privacy purposes, we introduce them publicly with different names. Our cw's know we do this and say they think it's smart. You never know who knows mom or dad. This way, the name doesn't strike some chord of familiarity with anyone. We generally have cases where our identities are kept confidential from the birthparents. RM

I call my fost/adopt son a name that I chose because he was an infant when I brought him home. (2 weeks old) It sounds like a nickname because it has the same first letter as his birthname and is only 2 letters long. In the beginning I also called him by his birthname in case he was to go back. My SW knew about it and she called him the named I picked out as well. Now if he were older I would not have done that. It would be confusing for him. Things must be scary enough without being called some unfamiliar name in an unfamiliar home. MAYBE if I thought things were headed towards adoption I would call them a nickname ALONG with the birth name after they had been in my home a while. If you are just fostering I wouldn't reccomend it. Just my opinion. :D

We have a fs that came to us at 2 days old, I didn't like the name ** gave him (it was kinda weird), so we call him by his first and middle names first initial. It's really cute and now that's what everyone calls him. If (gotta love that word) we get to adopt, I'd like to change his name to something that would keep the initials the same. The first name would be biblical and the middle name after my dh. His current middle name is after the paternal grandfather, which hasn't even bothered to ask about seeing him, or even cares for his own son, is an alcoholic, drug user, and domestic abuser. The thought of him carrying that name forever...poor baby. :( I want him to have a name he can be proud of. :)

Although some foster parents do end up calling their foster children something other than their given names, it is certainly frowned upon. There are numerous reasons as to why it's not a good idea to call them something other than their given names while they are in foster status. One being that it can lead to confusion for them, especially if/when they return home, or change foster homes. Another reason is that most times you have these children placed in your home with the intention that mom/dad are going to "get better" and the children will return home. The county workers frown upon this name change aspect since it isn't fostering a relationship where you are supporting the child's return home and in a sense "claiming ownership". In short, it's done but not looked upon favorably!

I have called my kids by either their given names or a shortened version of their given names. Something that we have always done in my family, though, is make up silly middle names for different moods - like Louise is when kids are being silly; Marie when they are being difficult; Elizabeth when girls are being really princessish; Penelope for argumentative. It is kind of a code that the kids know that when it is used in public that they need to adjust their behavior. It keeps us from always having to say "don't do that", etc. over & over & over. It is also a way that we can tell them we are proud of their manners or whatever. I learned the hard way not to do it in front of bio parents, though. A & N's parents got really upset. WE just think it is silly & fun, but it upset them & that was NOT our intention at all!!!!! Christy

I did this simply because the name his bios gave him meant 'prince of darkness', 'one who overcomes all boundaries'. :eek: His bios were Wiccan and I am a born-again Christian. Ironically, his middle name is David - chosen one of God. I called him David. He was only with me for two weeks and then went to a relative. He was 5-days old when he came to my home.