New here and scared

My daughter will be 4 in Sept. Her bdad was in prison when she was born. We were married. Before he went in he had a drug problem and stole money from everyone - include robbing 2 stores which is how he got put away. I was oblivious to the severity of his problem until it was too late. I have never used drugs myself at all! Well, when my daughter we 6 months old he was released on parole. I took him back telling his this was his chance to get it together and if he messed up he would lose us. He started drinking the day he got out, started using in 2 weeks, used all the monwy was making on drugs (lied and said he hadn't been paid or some other lame excuse) and when my daughter was baptised 2 months after he got home he actually stole her baptism money! He even emptied her piggy bank. So I filed for divorce and he went and robbed 2 more stores. His mother (whom I dislike very much) blamed me saying I never supported him (lol) So he was sentenced again to be there until late May 2006 at the earliest. My lawyer friend that knew him and the case said there was NO way he would get his first parole but now I think he might. He writes to me about every other month even though I haven't replied in over 2 years. His letters show me he is not recovered - and also show he will not give up my daughter. He feels he "deserves" to see her. Fast forward to a year after he went back. I meet a wonderful successful kind man who is healthy in every way and smart and financial set for many lifetimes. We have been together ever since but took things slow seeing as he is shy and didn't have many relaitonships previous to me, concentrating on his business more. He loves my daughter and wants to adopt her. Lawyers I have spoke to told me I couldn't terminate his rights - that I had no grounds (I am in MI BTW) She doesn't know him, he is a 4x convicted felon who has never given me a dime -more like financial ruined me! And he will never be able to support her or give her a healthy home but I couldn't get his rights removed? So now "J" (my fiancee) and I are getting married but a lawyer (my 4th) has told us that yes we can adopt her if we get married now and are married before he gets out.She also recommended I write the parole board to discredit his so-called "recovery" which I can do without guilt because I know he is looney. We are planning a "real" wedding in June next year - two weeks after my ex's prossible release. I worry about whether I am doing the right thing but anything is worth a try. I only want the best for my daughter and he could harm her in more ways than one - in fact I am confident he will harm her. However, he will fight. I know he won't willingly give up rights. Anyone that can give me any advice, I would be most grateful. Is there any way to adopt her and terminate his rights without him knowing my fiance's name? We can not disappear from him ever if he does because there is a reasonable amount of fame attached to him. I am afraid he will hunt us down and harm us later or take my daughter! No court listens to me when I tell them this. My Ex- although a Crack and Herion addict felon - was trained by the military, was a body guard, and ironically and investigator. He could find us! Not only that his training makes him very manipulative and he is very persuasive! (cunning) I am just very scared and don't know which way to think - let alone, go. thanks for any help - I am glad I found this place. Seems like I have been alone in this for so long... Laura