does anyone only foster with no intention to adopt?

No intention at all!!! We have raised our 3, youngest is 13 now and we are loving the kids growing up. We have fostered for 4 years now, I never had the urg with any of the 30 plus children we have had .....until now. We have turned down newborns before because they had possible adoption possibilities and I wanted them to go immediately to an adopt home if possible. I took in this beautiful little 4 week old, mom was doing good, everyone figured it wouldnt be long.....mom is now leaning toward relinquishing. She wants us to have her and we are so in love with this little angel after 5 months I dont think we can turn her away. Its amazing how quickly life throws a curve in the plan, and how exciting it can be. All it took was those big blue eyes that look at us with so much love and trust. Good luck

I think it's WONDERFUL that you want to foster "JUST" to foster. This is what kids need. Some people get into fostering just so they CAN adopt. I have told friends and family - "Don't become a foster parent with the intention to adopt - because you WILL get your hearts broken." They always ask "Why?" I then have to explain - "The goal of the foster care system is REUNIFICATION - NOT adoption." Of course, there are MANY situations were fostering does lead into adoption - but IMO, I don't think it's healthy to go into fostering thinking that you will be able to adopt. My hubby and I started fostering because we love children and because we could offer children a stable loving home on a small farm. We felt like we weren't "doing our fair share in helping our community" - so we joined the ranks and became foster parents. Not being able to have children of our "own" also helped us make the decision to become foster parents. Of course, after we had Gregory placed with us in October 2003 - some how I became pregnant TWICE last year. We lost both pregnancies - but it was just amazing that after several years of "trying" and fertility treatments - I was able to get pregnant. As for adoption - we are more than willing to adopt a child that needs a home. But.....we are not doing fostering just so we can adopt. We are fostering so we can try to put the needs of the children first and to be able to provide them a loving, safe and secure home to be in - no matter what the length of time is. Christina

We definitely got into fostering for strictly fostering. We have two bios (almost 10 and 7) and had decided that our family was complete. We just wanted to help little ones that needed us. We also foster 0-3 b/c our whole family prefers babies! Who wouldn't love to play with a baby?! However our first placement came to us as a newborn-straight from the hospital and my dh told me that nite that if she came up for adoption he would like to adopt her! Some you just click with I guess?! So if she does come up for adoption (she's been with us for almost 11months now) then we will most definitely be adopting but we aren't looking to adopt more in the future. If that 'click' happens again then I'm sure our life will change one more time! I've learned not to expect things to happen in a certain way b/c life always seems to throw you a curve!

Our county trys to only place babies in homes whose plan is to adopt them since it is the best situation for the baby to be in the home where they will stay forever and never have to transition to another home.

Hi!It sounds like you are headed down the same road we are, just a little behind us. Our intent is to foster only.We have a 23 month, and a four year old bios, and wanted to add in another one younger than our own. Just before completeing our certification, we got an 18 month old.Its been a month and I still don't know if I'm cut out for this, lol. My youngest is taking the intrusion pretty hard (something I wasn't totally prepared for). Anyway, I requested 0-2 and I do work one day during the week. The two little ones go to my daycare lady's house, and it has been good.

Hello, We have just started to get into the program to. We have 5 grown children and 12 grandchildren so we are not thinking of adopting .We want very much to have babies and toddlers because we feel they are the greatest years and mean alot to have lots of love and care .We really miss being around our children and there families they all live in other states. So we have lots of time we are both retired and I feel we have alot to ofer a child.Being a mom full is something I love doing and miss it. We see the kids alot but we can still see them with the new foster child comeing along with us. Who knows if God has a plan maybe we will end up adopting if not we will love the child as long as we can.Good luck with your foster child. I know how excided you must be as we are also. write back. Bonny

[font=Arial Narrow]My DH and I have 2 bio daughters, ages almost 13 and almost 15. Our original plan wat to foster just until (and IF) an infant boy became available to us for adoption. On 8/30/2005 we got our first foster placement, two sisters ages 2 and 6. We have fallen madly in love with them and all of their bio g-parents are actually hoping for TPR and that we will adopt the girls. As strange and unexpected as it is to my hubby and I, we are truly not interested in adopting these two girls. I was so afraid of becoming attatched and then having to let go, but the strange thing is I have become attatched and I dread letting them go (as of now RU is scheduled to begin around 6/2006)...but I truly believe now that there is such a purpose in fostering. That we have given these girls SOMETHING that will in some way enhance their lives, now and/or later, and there are so many other children who will at some time need something from us also. Does that make sense? To be honest, I don't think we plan to adopt at all anymore. Fostering has been such a blessing to my family (and at times an absolute burden, too!:grr: ) I never realized it, but I now believe that this was something my family was called to do and we will never be the same again. My oldest daughter is now talking to our case worker about classes she would need to take to get her degree in social work. Who'd'a thunk it??!?![/font]

we fostered for 4 years and had 23 placements..mainly newborns, twins, preemies, medically fragile ect..we adopted our 3rd and our 11th foster child.we closed our license when we moved and now are going through the licensing process again. We have 3 bio. 21, 17 and 14 and our two little ones are 5 and 4. We want to continue in the baby world of twins, preemies ect... when people as if we will adopt again..we say..."we are done, we just hope GOD thinks we are done also." My husband loves the fostering part but says no to anymore adoptions..but I say...never say never... we were offered one of our sets of twins when rights were terminated and we said no. Mainly because our youngest were 2 and 1 at the time and the twins had been with us from birth to 5 months...we just felt the twins were meant for someone else...and they went to an infertile couple that were praying for a baby girl and got identical girls..it was a wonderful thing....

I signed up to just foster 0-2, we started class last January and are still waiting for final certification. Sometimes I think it is taking so long because God is giving us a chance to change our minds about fostering. Then I say no "only the strong keep forging ahead" It has been one reason after another to delay the licensing. 1st right after we finished the classes last April we moved to another county, so alot of the paperwork had to be redone "with their letterhead on it" (stupid right), then finally they came to do the homestudy in July. 2nd a promotion at the licensing office meant we had to get another worker and have the homestudy done again. 3rd the new licensing agent kept forgetting parts of the total packet. 4th I was sick and didnt send in the neighbor references for a month. 5th There were unanswered questions in the packet, such as "how did the husband feel about adopting the wife's daughter" (so stupid, if he wasnt happy about it obviously he wouldnt have gone through with the adoption) 6th Christmas Holidays 7th The final licensing agent was out sick for 2 weeks so of course now there is a ton of cases on his desk. Now it is the end of January and over a year since we started classes, hopefully we hear something soon. I wonder since we have waited so long just for the licensing does that mean our wait for a foster child will be short? HAHAHA No probably means it will be twice as long. Sorry this reply is so long just had to get my frustrations out. I cant wait to have a baby in the house again, but no I can not see it ever being permanent, The teenage years are too rough. Mother of4 bio daughters21, 20, 20, 18 (yes twins)

We have been licensed since 2/01/05 and have had NO placements!! We are licensed for 0-3 yrs old and I am so anxious to get some babies in this house! We are FOSTER ONLY, too. BUT...we will see how that goes! :) WOuld love to chat with you all more about this as I am anxiously awaiting our first placement!!

Michelleb You have been licensed for a year with no placements? Have you received any calls at all? I've been told in my county that many infant-3 yr olds come into foster care and there are not enough homes. The licensing agent also told me since I would take newborn I shouldn't have that long a wait because nobody wants to get up for that 2:00am feeding. It is just killing me that it is taking so long for the licensing. But I guess it is a good thing right now because my oldest is getting Married in 6 days so my time is all taken up with the wedding. Hopefully I will hear something in the next couple of weeks.

I had fostered without the intention of adoption and we mainly fostered older girls. But, then we found out several years ago that we couldn't have our own bio children. My older daughter is natural but I had her before this marriage. We have been married 13 years this year. The last few years we have fostered with the hope of adoption only to have every situaiton end badly when we realized it wouldn't be a good adoptive match. Very sad and very difficult to say the least. At this point in time it is time to focus on my health and maybe thing of fostering/adoption again in a few months. Had my DEXA bone scan today and it looks like I am in the moderate bone loss category. At first they thought it was the serious bone loss category. Mind you I am only 39. But, it still isn't good. And...I also have some carotid artery blockage - low to moderate range. So, at this point in my life I have to focus on my health. :( Then, later this spring or early summer I may be able to foster again. We have a sib pair that are getting ready to leave. :cheer: Today was a tough day. The kids feel very rejected but they are going to live with their auntie. They have only been here 5-6 months. I do care about them but can't parent them long term right now.

Hi I have been a foster parent for 10 years and had to many children to count of all ages. When we started in this adventure we had 3 small girls of are own and decided that we would never adopt we now keep in touch with a huge extended family and have never regretted giving any back. My girls are now starting to leave home and all plan to do fostercare as soon as there able. I have been told by many a teacher that I have raised very loving and caring girls who would help out anyone. I blame this all on fostercare what a great job. A very fullfilled Canadian fostermom

My partner and I intend to only do foster care. I'm sure if it was an option, some time down the road, we'd adopt. It's just not our primary goal right now. We're really excited. We're at the point where it's hurry up and wait. We sent in our paperwork and now we are waiting for all our background information, etc. to come back and waiting to do our homestudy.:)

We started off only to foster, now it seems that a little boy may not be going home, and we are considering adoption for the first time in the 2 years that we have fostered. I have had a few sw laugh when they find out that i am even considering adoption, we have sayed all along we are FOSTER parents only, not pre adopt. You will find that there will come a time, a child will touch you so deep that you may consider adoption. Know like I have already read in here at least once, we have to go to more classes and redo our homestudy...lol. If we do adopt, It will be a one time thing, no more..lol...so we say..lol..Good luck, I think its wonderful for ppl to do foster just to foster, I think of fostering as being a home to a child until they go to there real home and bio parents.