Infants or Toddlers???

We were kind of the opposite in that we were licensed for older children but got a call for an infant and so far our oldest placement was 2 1/2. Not sure where you are, since each county works a little differently. Here, once they know a foster family, they will call even if the profile doesn't exactly match. We did call and get our profile changed after the first baby left, since we had a crib already set-up. I think they did send a new license in the mail with our age-changes noted. When we moved, I was told to call when we had our extra room set-up if we wanted to be re-licensed for more kids. So, no big deal here. Know that most toddlers and infants in care have older siblings so you may be asked to take a sibling group, as the focus is on keeping sibs together. Can you handle dealing with an infant who has been abused and has injuries or who is medically fragile? Can you deal with kids who are developmentally delayed (either due to environment or health issues, such as drug/ alcohol exposure)? The biggest issue is no guarantees that a foster child will be freed for adoption. Infants and toddlers are rarely TPR'd (termination of parental rights) right away. Can your family handle getting attached and then having the child leave the home? Can they handle it if it happens 3,4,5 times or more? Good luck

Thanks for the feedback into the legalities of fostering specific age groups. Yes, I do believe (as much as possible) we are prepared to deal with reunification. I am actually excited to mentor Mom's in hopes to be able to return their babies to them one day. We do not NEED a bigger family. However, getting licensed as fost/adopt will hopefully make things easier if that one of a kind child comes our way that is ment to be apart of our forever family. Being almost ten years since I have had little one's, I am just not sure which age group is right for our family, infants or toddlers?? Which of these groups require more time/ attention/ mental and physcial energy? Which reap the biggest benefits to both the fost family and/or to the child? How are toddlers with your older bio. children? Do babies seem to "click" better with your families? Can/should younger children 0-5 have their own room? Does it invade the space of bio. children to put temporary "little one's" in same bedrooms? I guess I just have lots of questions? I love the experience and wisdom on this board and totally appreciate personal input. Thanks LEAABC for your feedback!! Experience ALWAYS outweighs book knowledge! And thanks so much for yours!!! BTW, I am in Washington State. Bio = 12 yrsBio = 9 yrsSoon to be Fost/Adopt = 0-2 or 3-5 yrs ??

We do not have any bio children yet so I can't answer that aspect. It is important to include your children in this decision and to make them aware of the positive and negative aspects. Our (almost) 3 year old has her own room and does fine. Her sister (17 months) also has her own room and seems fine, although still in a crib. I have had various ages of infants placed with us. The youngest being a newborn right from the hospital, a 4 month old, another 4 month old, and the two we have now. One of the 4 month olds (our first placement) was injured and never slept through the night for the two months placed with us. The other 4 month old was great and easy going, we bonded very much with him and grieved deeply when he left. The newborn was a lot of work just because he was a newborn. He was moved pretty quickly though (2 weeks) to everyone's surprise. Even babies can have attachment issues so having a baby is no guarantee that they will "click" with you. I should say that until we moved, the babies under a year old all slept in a crib in our room. We would put a newborn in our room now, in a small cradle but do not have the room for a crib in our room, as we have moved. Both age groups require energy and time, just in different ways.

we have adopted 4 children from foster, all came to our home at age 4! It is funny now, we joke that in our house we don't do, kitties, puppies or babies. :D NO diapers! lol It was very nice, that they could undo carseat, go potty semi alone. And talk about things they were going thru...as much as a 4 year old can. I do miss that these kids have no pictures of their life prior to coming here, and in that aspect I know nothing but the bad things that happened. I know there had to be some good, but they will forget and I never knew.

I have both an infant and toddler sibling group that has been w/ us for the past two months and although dh and I were partial to toddlers I am loving both of them for so many reasons. We got the boys when they were 3 1/2 years old and 7 1/2 months old, so I have one with diapers and one without. :) Our license says we are willing to take ages 0-5...is that an option in your state? Can you put more than one age group? As far as our situation....parents rights are still there and they have weekly supervised visits for an hour and although court is next month to terminate their rights, I have a feeling the judge will postpone his decision for another 3 months. We were also asked while going through our classes what level of an "at risk" child (re: parent's rights being terminated) we were willing to take on a scale of 1-5. 1 and 2 were strictly for fostering and 3-5 were for Fos/Adopt with 5 being parent's rights were already terminated. The boys we have now are a 3 on the scale, and although there is still a chance for reunification, dh and I are in agreement that we would not have changed a thing! As far as which age groups needs more attention....I think it depends on each situation. With our situation Z our toddler needs constant reassurance and guidance so he needs alot of attention. L our infant needs constant attention as well as he is just learning to crawl and is into everything. So for us they both need lots of attention, it's just different kinds. I have both the boys in one room and Z loves sharing w/ his little brother. Our state says until they are 1 they can be in your room, however I knew if L was in a crib in our room, Z would also want to be in our room...hence why they share a room together! The foster family that had them for 7 months had the baby in their room and Z shared a room w/ their bioson. For the most part things seemed to be okay with the boys sharing. We were told in our classes that they prefer the kids don't share a room w/ bio children. I have to agree w/ Roon that it is hard to know neither of my kids have baby pictures. It's also hard to see L start to crawl and teethe and experience all these firsts w/ him and not his brother. It's also strange to hear some of the stories that a 3 yr old has been exposed to. I take comfort in knowing his brother will not have to be exposed to these things and that he never will have to again. All in all, this board and these people have offered me wonderful advice and I have learned so much from them. (Much more than training and classes) I wish you the best of luck in your journey and in finding out what is best for your family! Cindy :)

Its hard to say what age its easier. Like Cindy said it really depends on the child. I have had Infants that were sooo easy. They never cry, always happy, never spit up, and sleeps through the night. Then I get babies that you can not put down, cry all the time, has eating problems, and never sleeps through the night. They can be drug exposed or have Fas. I have had toddlers that are sooo sweet. They learn easily and rarely have tantrums, goes to sleep no prob. Then I get toddlers that make you want to pull you hair out. They tantrum all the time. They are delayed in many areas and need therapy and lots of catch up to do. I really cant say what is easier, becouse I have had babies easier then toddler and toddlers easier then babies. One thing to think of is, if you get babies you have to go through the toddler years anyways. I love to get babies. I love the way they cuddle and watch them grow to toddler years. My husband loves toddlers, becouse he love to teach them to count and many other things. We take children 5 and under and sometimes we get calls for older kids, but we do not feel ready for them yet. Sorry not much help, but with fost/adopt you never know what you will get.

Shycar, Actually, thanks, you ARE a ton of help. It seems that Fost. Kids are not quite the same as Bio. kids in that you cannot just predict what is expected for a specific age group. It is good to know that some babies are easier than toddlers, while other toddlers are easier than babies. I guess, no one can really tell me what age group to choose. I just need to pray that the "right" child for our family comes along, no matter what age bracket they fall in. I see that I have to feel confident in the decision to fost/adopt moreso than put my faith a specific, individual child. I guess it is just kind of scary to wonder what extremes I might come across. Thanks again shycar for your post and to everyone else who responded. I don't know if I am unique in this, but I am so elated to foster, yet completely petrified at the same time. Anyway, thanks again to you all. The posts here have made my life long dream to foster, a soon to be reality. Love,A Mom with a Heart FULL of love!!!

I am looking to fost/adopt in LA I have posted a few times, because I am just starting my jouney. I have had my orientation, met the beautiful folks at my agency and talked at length with them....they make it sound so easy. I am a single mom adopting an infant vs. a toddler cause I only have a one bedroom at the moment.....lots of folks showed up for orientation....and I don't know if any of you experienced this at all...but some just don't seem ready....like the 50 or so year old guy who wanted to know if there where 21 year olds available for adoption....yikes...sw told him, "no, you must BE 21 to adopt"....seemed very scary to me. But all of it lead to them telling me...."you won't have to wait THAT LONG for a baby"....which I am not sure exactly what that means....( I know that they only get a few babies)They did say that if you were willing to adopt a toddler, your wait would be shorter and that ALL children really respond a lot better when they are in a stable loving home. Toddlers usually get up to speed developmentally by kindergarden....and no 2 am feedings :-)Good luck to you in YOUR journey, I suggest you put in for 0-3 or 4 and see what litte one comes to you, as you said you would do, if you feel connected to that little one....he/she is yours :-) Cause god/universe works in wonderful ways. "I am petrified" I wanted to speak to that statement cause... even though I am gung ho and happy and ready to adopt and ready have that beautiful being in my home (Black, brown, green, white or otherwise)....I am really scared. I understand the "I am elated... and petrified" comment. I have posted many times about loving and being so bold and forthright about info regarding your foster/adoption, but after orientation and turning in my app... for the first time in this process I felt fear..."oh my god....do I make enough money??? will I miss my single life???? will my friends exclude me cause I have a baby??? Will my carreer keep moving forward??? Child care?" Baby or toddler....they are YOURS at the end of the day....Your beautiful child....FOREVER...which um...means forever....that can be a wee bit on the scary side in the beginning. Wise advice welcome.... :-) I know this is just a stage in the process.....but some words of advice will be welcome to all of us just getting started :-). Lorie Hope Hopefull fost/adopt of infant girl. Filmmaker in LA

Lorie - Good Luck. CWs are always positive at the orientation meetings. They need to hook you! :) Friends - you will find out who your real friends are. And you will make new friends that have small children. Money - Is there ever enough? If I waited to have enough money. I would have no kids. Your priorities change and so do your spending habits.