Getting Started

Bluerose, We were worried as well. All we were ever told were the horror stories, but I tell you less then a month after being opened up we got a 3dy old AA baby boy. My heart melts everytime I look at him. He had to go to repsite for the month of July for my husbands open heart sugery and it just killed us. Since March we have taken in 11 children. I'm learning though to ask plenty of ques. before you say yes to a child. We were gonna do foster/adopt but we changed to foster, they told us it'd take to long to get a baby, but we may get to adopt our lil X sooner than we thought. Stay positive and try to become part of a foster parent assoc. in your town, that helps.I haven't had a drug baby so I can't say much on that. When that first baby comes you'll be thrilled and the negative stuff you here goes away from your mind. Good Luck on your babies to come. Marcie------------K 9yr bioK 6yr bioX 5 mo fs(trying to adopt)A 5mo fsA 2yr fd

What state are you in. We took MAPP in Florida and it was boring. I almost stopped going, but my wife would not let me. Just endure and learn what you can. You are going up the roller coaster now, the fun part and sometimes loop-de-lops are coming. I'm so glad I didn't quit on any of those 10 monday nights. Never had a drug baby, but you will meet those who have sooner or later.

Thanks myliiangels and brl! It's nice to hear something positive for a change! We're in KS, and yes, the MAPP classes are very boring, but the thought of the possibility of adopting a baby is keeping us going... Good luck with everything!

i don't know if i would be any help, but i have adopted my son who is now 4 (4months at placement and 2.5yrs at adoption) and hope to adopt my current fdaughter who is 9months (6weeks at placement). it is an emotional roller coster that you often want to get off but it is so rewarding in the end. i can't tell you much about drug exposure but one thing i was not warned of was attachment issues. even though my son was placed with me at 4 months, due to the neglect he suffered prior to that time, he had attachment issues that were accidentally discovered by me when he was about 2.5 years old. no one really talks about infants having attachment issues, but it does happen. with my daughter, i do a lot of attachmetn parenting with her, mainly becuase it can't hurt. she is not showing signs of attachment issues, but i don't want to go down that road again. good luck

Our fson was drug/alcohol exposed. He needed a LOT of holding and did a lot of waking up during the night. He had very tight muscles and would tantrum very easily. He was our first and we had all our attention and pent up desire to parent to pour out on him, so it worked out fine, I think it would be harder if I had other children to care for at the same time. From what I've read and experienced, you never know what the long term will hold for these children. JR currently has nothing haunting him from the exposure except he's small for his age. No one can tell from here if he may have a learning disability come school age (he's almost 2). We'll deal w/ that when it comes. For the infants, as much holding and stroking and massaging as possible seems to help. Eye contact and meeting their needs and remembering that they aren't the "normal" baby that the well-meaning neighbor or grandmother will try to compare him/her to (sleeping habits, eating habits, milestones).

I hope it works out for you to adopt the first baby you get...it did not for us and it was so hard. we have had drug exposed babies and the symptoms can greatly vary in severity. Cry more, want to be held/swaddled, restless, etc...etc... but they are still as loveable and wonderful as any baby has ever been. :) As far as the ongoing effects..we have 3 kids now that were drug exposed as babies and they all have problems now but noone can tell us if they are for sure from the drugs or if they are genetics or from neglect or any of the 1,000's of environmental factors they were raised with.