Struggling w/ 2yr old

To me in my opinion, sounds like any two yr old. I have a 3yr old fs. He has been with me for two years. Oh my he went from angel, age 1, to a monster, age 3. He also sits and smiles at me when I tell him something or he just tells me no, dont want to, or make me. I use time outs a minute per age. Time out will not begin till he can sit quietly. Sometimes he screams, yes I mean scream for 20 min non stop. When he finally stops I tell him good job now his time out can begin. If she understands talking and explaining her behavior was not appropriate and let her know what next time will happen. My 3yr old understands a lot. I can ground him now. Example he can not play toys for half a day, but he can read and color. Or no TV for a day. Toy gets taken if he cant share. They are small things for short time, but it works. Two weeks ago at church I had my 3yr old fs and my 5yr old fd. My fd was soo well behaved. My fs had a huge tantrums infront of everyone. Not just one tantrum, but 3. The ones he screams so loud your ears about to burst. After church I stoped by McDs and bought two icecreams. One for me and one for my fd. I told them that becouse she and I were good at church we got a reward, but he does not get any becouse his behavior was not appropriate. Man this sunday he was sooo well behaved and yes he got rewarded witha choc cake (I did not even mentioned any reward he just behaved on his own.)

Sounds like a 2 year old to me, also. I have six children. Two of which are ADD/ADHD. I sat on the Local Board of CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficiet Disorder). Many children that have ODD start out with an underlining problem, such as ADHD, left untreated you start getting other disorders such as ODD. Many pediatricians when dealing with children this young will wait to see if it is a maturity thing, just a normal kid thing or if they truly have ADHD. By kindergarten you can usually tell because the ADHD starts to effect thier social setting as well as the academic. Children do not enjoy being friends with children with ADHD. Concerta saved my child's life. And no, he is far from being a zombie!!!! Each child has their own personality. I love Dr. James Dobson's book "The Strong Willed Child". Which is just what you may have rather than a ODD child. And please remember three's are just as fun. Everyone I know said twos were nothing, three's were hell!! I remember going to Kayleigh's 3 year old check up. (An extremely strong willed child) Her doctor said, "ah the terrific threes." I said, "really thank God!" Then he laughed, and said, "no, it is terrific for them not so terrific for you." They remind me of mini teenagers at this age. If you are really in doubt, I would make an appointment with your pediatrician. Good luck! Carolyn

Gotta agree - sounds like 2 YO/3 YO behavior to me too. Definite boundary pushing. We use Love & Logic parenting techniques - "Love and Logic Magic" is a good one for preschoolers. As for signs of sexual abuse, I'm not an expert there. You might want to ask your child's pediatrician, they may have some information for you. HTH, hang in there. Regina

Thanks to everyone. Yeah we have an adhd son and we love the concerta. He was able to stay on the a/b honor roll all yr last year. You'd think i could handle this but it's like i've forgotten what it's like to have a 2yr old around..lol I just don't want to be frustrated all the time w/ her easp. since I know what she went through. Thanks again and God Bless..

I have a 2 1/2 yr. old foster/adopt daughter and sounds the same. Our theropist told me that with 2-3 yr. olds when you put them on time out not to expect them to stay still the whole time. She says to get a designated AREA tell the child to sit there( the can move as they please) BUT ONLY IN THAT AREA. that way they don't fell confined. She also suggested when they thow fits put them in the area and as soon as they are calm down to let them up and talk to them. That way the are getting the attention when they aren't screaming. So far all has worked with us. Of course 2 yr. old are going to be that way. They do remind me of mini teenagers. Funny how there are alot of behaviors the same;)

To go against the grain, (I hate to do that b/c i could be wrong) I would say that you might have more of a problem than just typical 2-3 year old tantrums we all experince. There is a differince between a fit that embarreses you and a full blown out child who is emotianlly and physically out of control that will not be stopped until he or she regains what they lost.

To go against the grain, (I hate to do that b/c i could be wrong) I would say that you might have more of a problem than just typical 2-3 year old tantrums we all experince. There is a differince between a fit that embarreses you and a full blown out child who is emotianally and physically out of control that will not be stopped. The most important thing to remember is to maintian your composure. This can and will be overcome. I wouldnt over-analize and think the child is a monster, I would look at the background. Could be that this is the way she or he got her way at their last home. Could be the attentoin she or he got was a fist and then a "loving" "caring" time in mommys lap while she consoled herself for hitting her own child. Then again it could be just plain old defiance on steroids to push your button. It can be overcome. As far as the chruch. Yes, it is embaressing, yes, there are times when you need to decide to leave a service so not to inturupt the others worship experince, but always remember the good work God is allowing you to do. My last chruch was filled with foster kids (noise) and I pushed it as a ministry. Mark 10:13-16 "And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. (Mycomments Why could it be the disciple thought the kids were to were noisy, loud, unimportant in the over all plan of Jesus time thereand should be excluded etc..) [14] But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. [15] Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein. [16] And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them. Now I've went to preaching. My point is, your child possibly could be more emotinally unstable than others. Realize it is true and you have some work to do and also realize it is not so uncommon that the kid has no hope.

Juat as a word of caution I feel like you are also describing my 2 yr old fs in many ways. I kept feeling like something was not right but as i would dedcribe it to people they would say that he sounded like a 2 year old. I was feeling like something was not right but after hearing that enough times I started to believe it and thought it was all just my being overstressed and not as patient as normal lately. BUT, I finally decided that i would have him seen anyway. Tonight we were given a diagnosis with him that is pretty big BUT it fits and we are so relieved that now we can really start to "get" him. So, yeah, it is probably a normal 2 year old but if your gut is telling you that something might be up then get him seen...and by someone other than your pediatrician..a psychologist that specializes in kids. Pediatritians are great but they can't know it all about all ages...find a specialist to talk with. Also, there is a great book and a video called "the happiest toddler on the block" I got it and started using it with my non-verbal 2 year old and it is GREAT. I wish i had it earlier. I felt it was wierd at first but when I tried it IT WORKED! Best of luck!!

[QUOTE=brl]To go against the grain, (I hate to do that b/c i could be wrong) I would say that you might have more of a problem than just typical 2-3 year old tantrums we all experince. There is a differince between a fit that embarreses you and a full blown out child who is emotianally and physically out of control that will not be stopped. The most important thing to remember is to maintian your composure. This can and will be overcome. I wouldnt over-analize and think the child is a monster, I would look at the background. Could be that this is the way she or he got her way at their last home. Could be the attentoin she or he got was a fist and then a "loving" "caring" time in mommys lap while she consoled herself for hitting her own child. Then again it could be just plain old defiance on steroids to push your button. It can be overcome. As far as the chruch. Yes, it is embaressing, yes, there are times when you need to decide to leave a service so not to inturupt the others worship experince, but always remember the good work God is allowing you to do. My last chruch was filled with foster kids (noise) and I pushed it as a ministry. Mark 10:13-16 "And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. (Mycomments Why could it be the disciple thought the kids were to were noisy, loud, unimportant in the over all plan of Jesus time thereand should be excluded etc..) [14] But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. [15] Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein. [16] And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them. Now I've went to preaching. My point is, your child possibly could be more emotinally unstable than others. Realize it is true and you have some work to do and also realize it is not so uncommon that the kid has no hope. REGINA! READ THE LAST LINE AGAIN! I WROTE THE PROBLEMS THE CHILD IS HAVING IS NOT SO UNCOMMON (EVERONE HAS THEM) THAT HE HAS HOPETHEY CAN BE OVERCOME! YOU READ IT WRONG!!!!!!! I DID NOT SAY THE KID HAS NO HOPE! i SAID HE AS HOPE! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!