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To the world We are heroes. When people find out we are a foster parents - we are lauded and praised- " Oh you're such good people" " Wow I could never handle that - how do you do it?" The truth of the matter is , however, we are not heroes.We have chosen this path and knew what heartaches that we could incur. We knew there could be difficulties and we knew it wasn't always going to be easy. I believe that by us choosing to be foster parents, we are disqualified from hero status. I do believe that there are heroes out that though that go unnoticed They come in the form of our families and friends who did not chose this path but chose to step up to the plate anyway. I can guarantee you my sister in law will hear how wonderful we are for doing this but not one will thank her for being there for us. The same goes for everyone in our support system.No one offers them thanks, yet, I can not even begin to tell you how important they are to our survival. Without our family and friends we would not be doing this. They did not choose to be foster grandparents, foster aunts or foster uncles ( or even foster friends) . Yet they were and had to deal with it. They have laughed with us and they have cried with us too. They have loved with us as well which means they have hurt with us too. They have held us up when we were about to fall and they listened to us ***** more times than we can count. They have stood there and supported our decision and never once complained about the added responsibility and heartache we have added to our families. They have touched a child forever that may have never known what a true family could be. They have been our personal heroes. I would like to thank all the unsung heroes out there who have supported us and continue to do so. Without your help and encouragement, we would not be able to do this. It is because of all of you that we know what a family is and choose to share that joy with children who may not. Whether or not you realize it, it is because of you we became foster parents. It is because we knew we had people that would be there for us no matter what.It is because we had love and knew you'd be okay with us sharing it. Thank you all for your support and love. You are all the true heroes.
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I could not have said it better myself. We have been fostering for about 2 years now and it has been an awesome experience. Recently we have had alot going on with the babies we have currently. We could not have made it this far without the love support of our family. What you wrote was so well put I actually printed it out and plan to give it to my family on Thanksgiving day. I will let them know I did not write it myself but another foster parent did and we are all in the same boat. Thank you for taking the time to write that!! I really appreciate it! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!!!!!!!
I am in tears as i write this, that was so touching and so very true. when we decided to do this we didn't even think of how many it would affect, but it has, and they have stood there with us, holding us up, drying our tears, patching our broken hearts all the while telling US WE are doing a good thing. BUtt your right, look at what there doing, for with out my friend, i couldn't go on. You have touched the very core of my heart with what you have wrote, i will print it out and send it to the paper. We are not hero's, just ppl who have takin on what needs to be done, our choise, the true hero's are as you have said, the ones who are doing this because we choise it for them, yet they stand stong, arms out hearts open. They are the true heros.Thank You for writing what we all think, I am not the hero, my family and friends are, for they take all my kids and me, and never get the praise.
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madfostermomma, You are soooo correct!!! My "hat" is off to you for putting your thoughts - and the thoughts of so many of us foster parents - in writing. We had NEVER had children before our first foster daughter ("B") was placed with us in April 2003. She was fifteen-and-half years old at the time of her placement. I have known her family for twenty years or more. Without my mother's help - I don't think I would have been able to handle all that I did. For my "first" Mother's Day, she bought me a lilac tree. When "B" needed a $300 show choir dress, my mom took $150 to the school so "B's" dress could be ordered. "B" went to live with her father in October 2003 - one week before her non-returnable dress was in. Gregory was placed with us (as foster to adopt) the next day (when he was 14-months old). We could have gotten Gregory a week or so earlier, but we chose to give "B" "her time" with us before she left. My mom went with me the last weekend in August, 2003 to pick up Gregory for respite from his wonderful foster home. This is how we first met him. My mom loved him from the first moment she laid eyes on him. Gregory's paternal grandmother was there so she could meet with me (because the goal was for us to eventually have him placed with us). My mom and her "hit it off" right away. From then one, my mom, step-dad and sister considered him "our child". My dear hubby's dad, step-mom, three step-brothers, step-sister and their families did the same. One of my wonderful step-sisters-in-law, Carlin, went and bought me a used stroller, some used clothes and etc. My mom purchased us a new walker. Other family members, on my in-laws side, also helped some. Last year my hubby's dad and step-mom bought six pieces of wooden fence and then put it up for us so Gregory could play outside as much as he wanted. Also, when we first had Gregory placed with us, our Women's fellowship at our Church gave us a nice gift certificate to "Wally World". A friend of mine had about eight to ten people over to her house for a small "shower" within two weeks of us having Gregory placed with us. When he had Whyatt placed with us the end of June this year as a foster placement - this same sister-in-law, Carlin stepped up and purchased a lot of "new" items (diapers and etc.) and let us borrow several items. The "girls" on my hubby's side of the family got together and purchased us a $100 gift certificate from Target. One of my really good friends met me in town the week we got Whyatt and bought a bunch of odds and ends (about $80 worth) at Wally World. For about two months this summer, my mom took Gregory once a week to his supervised visitation (about 40 minutes one-way). My sister would also go with her. She did this so there would be less conflict between myself and the birth parents. In our local newspaper we have something called Roses and Thorns." This is a weekly feature (just a few sentences) that highlights the best and worst of the week in the opinion of the readers. Sometimes a personӒs name (to whom the topic is about) is given and sometimes its not. Never is the name of the person who wrote in given. Anyway, here is what appeared in a Friday edition of this paper this past April:[font=Times New Roman][font=Verdana][/font] ғTo foster parents and adoptive parents. One mother really thinks her own child has done a remarkable job of taking on the responsibilities of someone elses child, and it has not gone unnoticed.Ҕ[/font] A day after the above appeared in the paper, my mother dropped of my fs (after he spent the night with nana, papa and aunt K.) I asked her if she read it. Well, her face turned a little red as she said "yes I read it." I had NEVER thought that she had written the above - until I saw her turn red. I asked her if she wrote it and she said, "no." She never did tell me that she did. But, I had to know, so I called a friend of a friend on the newspaper staff and I found who wrote it..MY mother. So you see, I do appreciate ALL of the help and support that our friends and family have given to us. I know that the above "acts of kindness" will not happen with each and every placement. We have had another placement or two where they did nothing and we don't want them to do anymore than they already have - they have went "above and beyond the call of duty". They helped us so much with Whyatt because we had never had a newborn before. I feel bad for our family in regards to us "loosing" Gregory. I feel guilty for all that they have done for us and for the pain in their hearts that they are going to feel when he is removed. I feel guilty for putting them thru all of this. When we get told how wonderful we are for being foster parents and how blessed our kids are for having us as foster parents, I look at them, smile and say: NO.....WE ARE THE ONES BEING BLESSED. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts. Christina
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