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For those of you who have been following our story, we met a young lady at a placement event and have been pursuing her for foster-adoption. We are finally at the stage of the placement meeting and were just called by our social worker today saying she went AWOL and has been gone since 11/13. No one has located her and our Social Worker says "these kids are saavy and often stay lost if they are invested in not being found." - She mentioned a case where a kid was "lost" for 1 year in the system and told us it was our call now. Do we wait for her to be found? or move on to other potential foster-adoptive children? Firstly, our hearts are heavy with worry for this little girl. We don't know where she is, if she is safe, or why she left. Did something happen in the foster home? Is she welcomed where she is? What is the deal? - The SW says they will issue a bench warrent so if the police find her they will know she is a ward of the court, but that the county social workers are so busy,the truth is that they may take only the required steps to find her. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? How can you know she is off on her own, and that YOU (the system) are responsible, and not take every possible step to find her? Now we don't know what to do. We clearly are tied to this child, we saw her as part of our family already and although we try to protect our emotions from getting too invested - it never seems to work! What if we move on and then she comes back. They say she knew we were pursuing her for adoption - what if she comes back and we have moved on with other children? What does that do to her? Even if we have moved on - we would continue to pursue her as soon as possible - but she is 15 and her time is running out in the system. At minimum we are looking at 6 months to a year from placement of other children in our home. UGH! Our hearts are, once again, aching - and we don't know how to approach this. Advice? I don't know what we should do. If we have any information on her, we would go looking ourselves, but we are not privy to that information. We don't know what efforts are being made and/or how invested she is in not being found. What now?S-:(
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In all honesty, I would recommend moving on. Doesn't sound like she really wanted to be adopted. There are lots of reasons teens run away. Teens in foster care often have the added feelings of needing some control over themselves. Many teens feel they are ready to be on there own. Where I live, the police do not look for runaways. They will pick them up and bring them home if someone else tracks them down. If the kid wants to run, they will. My boys sister ran all the time from foster homes, even ones she liked. Their brothers wife use to run from foster homes and back to her mothers.
If she returns and wishes to be adopted, then you can see what options are available for you. I would not stop the adoption process hoping for this one child to decide what she wants. There may be another child out there that really is ready to accept a new family.
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Thanks for your post & perspective on the situation. It has been 20 days since T was reported as missing and a week since we were informed There is still no sign of her. We believe she is with family nearby and that they are now able to care for her so we don't want to rock the boat if that is working out for her. Our initial target was a sib set under 8 and we are likely going to begin searching for that group again. It's hard to let go, but we do what we must I suppose. Thanks again for your post. S-