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Just went to court for two year old fs, B. He has an older brother, D, who is 3, and a newborn sister, M. Reunification does not look like an option and concurrent planning was ordered. D seems to be in a great home with foster parents that are more than willing to make sure that the brothers see each other, etc. Also, D's fm has more training to deal with his issues than I do. M's fp have made no effort to get in touch with us, etc. Although I'm sure M is in a good home, I don't get the warm and fuzzy feeling that the fp's will try to keep the little girl in touch with her brothers. B is quite a handful and all that we can handle at this point, but I have much hope that he will get better and eventually be able to be reunited with at least his sister and see his brother often. My question is how do I make my concerns known to the "powers that be" that I think these kids should be kept together as much as possible? It seems like no one wants them to be together. No one had even asked if we'll take the baby and when I try to bring it up the sw just shuts me down. Who's looking out for the best interest of the kids? M is only two months old and I think something needs to be done before everyone gets too attached and bonding is an issue.
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There may be reasons that they weren't placed together. And, bonding and attachment can be issues for newborns as well as older children. There may not be a sibling bond either, as they have never lived together.
I agree that you should contact your caseworker and discuss your concerns, regarding both visitation and future contact.
I'm glad to hear you feel a burden to keep these kids together. They will always be siblings no matter what, so it's important to keep them together. I would email the SW and her supervisor. Specifically ask for a response. If you do not get one, email again. When is the next court hearing? I would attend this and make your concerns known to the Judge that there should be an attempt to keep the kids together. I don't know if this happens everywhere, but our county's Judge always asks the foster parents if we have anything to add during the court proceedings. Hopefully you are given that opportunity. Also, do any of the kids see a therapist? Get the therapist on board with this.Also, I just thought of this, but if you send a letter to the court (DO NOT ADDRESS IT TO THE JUDGE- IT MAY GET THROWN OUT OR RETURNED) and put the child's court file number on it, (and "PLEASE ADD TO COURT'S FILE") it may make it into the court file, then it may get in front of the judge as he reviews the file. Don't make it a long two-page thing, but short and concise. I don't know if this would actually work or not, but it's worth a try.Bless you for swimming upstream in the system. Sometimes it can be frustrating to not have the "team" concerned about what's best. It really takes the sqeaky wheel to get stuff done- let us know what happens! Cam
How did this turn out? I'm in New York State, and all efforts are made for sibling visits. I have a 7 yo whom I've had for 1 1/2 years. He has 2 sisters and a brother with another family and a brother upstate in a group home. In the beginning, the foster mom and I would supervise the visits with each other and with the **. ** started complaining and the agency did the visits. Fm and I also took the kids to see brother upstate.
keep up the good fight. It is very hard to get things changed once the kids are placed. Everyone is so overworked and busy they move on to the next case. We had an issue like this with a sister and a brother, but the state didn't wan't to move her in with us b/c of another parents involvement and him only wanting the girl and not the boy. (Different daddies) It was sad b/c they went to the same daycare and every morning they would reunite and just hug one another. But i guess at least they saw one another all day
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There were reasons why they weren't placed together initially. I doubt they would be able to find a home for all three because the boys have different needs and were pretty bad off. I don't see much of a sibling bond between any of them, but I don't think that makes much of a difference. They are still siblings and have a right to grow up together and at least know each other. I think given the chance and proper environment they would do much better. We went to the last court hearing and plan to go to all the others in the future. The Judge didn't ask us anything, just thanked us for taking care of them. B will see a therapist soon, same therapist as brother, D. I thought taking them together would be best, less doctors to involve. They were getting visitiation all together, but B is too rough with M, and all three together are too much for anyone. It's so sad, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel. B is doing better everyday and will be getting much more help shortly. Thank for your suggestions, you're right I need to squeak a little louder and to the right people.