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I don't have a question I am just so ticked and wanted to vent to people who understand. the mom of Three of our kiddos signed them over last week and trial for TPR was set for the 19th...tomorrow. Well, last monday the dad (who has done NOTHING...not even visited them since they were removed over 18 months ago) got a new lawyer and now they have to do the pre-trial conference aver again and the TPR trial is pushed back until mid-february. I know it is better that it be thorough now rather than sloppy and they have grounds to appeal TPR. BUT, I was just wanting it over before christmas. So, I am so dissapointed. These little babies have been tossed around for so long and it is TIME FOR IT TO BE OVER!!! Just wanted to vent. I thought it was days from being over and now we are months from it.
This roller coaster seems to never end!!!!
Dawn
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Dawn - I am sorry that these kids lives have to be put on hold EVEN longer. But.....look at the bright side.....YOU have the kids while the legal system does what it needs to do. Yes, it's tough to wait until mid-February but.....at least everything is being done so IF there was to be an appeal from the birth father - then there would be no legal grounds for an appeal to be granted.Good luck to you and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Christina
These three kids are 2, 4, and 5. the birth father has not seen them since the day after they were removed from the home (July of 2004). He has not requested visits so far and we are praying that he will not. The youngest two don't remember him but the oldest is scared of him! We made an offer to him of pictures once a year and they are going to try and get him to sign off to that. We dont expect him to take it though.
We went through the same problem with the boy we adopted. (Mom?) showed up after a lengthy absence,(over a year) and wanted a visit. We requested we be there to help the visit go smootly. She showed up, visited him once and disappered again. We had a man claim to be his father who did not know he had a boy, and that was fine. If he wanted to take him, love him and raise him that is ok, it's just these that wait until TPR time to get busy that frustrate me!!! The man saw he had been with us for several years and gave up any rights to him, because he was happy with us. I pray it goes well with you and your situation.
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We are going through something close to this!Our 29 month old fs's dad after no visits for 9 months has now shown up to 2,and bmom has done nothing she even showed up at visit high!!!! I do not know what to do about this any suggestions? They are doing staffing to change from ru to TPR so now dad shows up. Judge has already ruled that if mom and dad are together he WILL NOT get custody( dad has no charges against him).My fs has no idea who this man is and since the visit he has been more aggressive.I will keep you and your babies in our prayers.
WOW! just goes to show that these parents don't think like the rest of us huh?
Does it look like there is much of a chance of the dad getting him back really? Our caseworker has said that if the dad says he wants visits after all this time of being inactive and not working their plan she will make him go through a psych eval. before she grants him visits. I don't know if they can do that for you or not since they already started up visits again. hopefully the parents will fall aways like they did before. It is amazing how the bio-parents can still abuse the kids even when they are in a safe and happy home. It is not the same abuse but it is not letting them heal and rest due to their visits. I just keep praying that soon our little ones will be able to rest...I pray the same for your little ones.
Dawn
If she can make him take the exam and delay the visits that would be great, but in my experiance once a bio requests a visit they are entitled to it. (No matter how long they have been gone or case plan status.) I am like you, why would bio do this to a child. My only thought is they truly want to do right, but cannot find thier way clear of their problems. Just protect and love the kids the best way you can. Fight for their protection. The sad part is the kids. They are so in the middle.
It seems to me that in a lot of cases these kids are nothing more than possesions to them. In their minds they feel like people are taking away something that is theirs but they actually never stop and think about what happens when they have to raise them. I know first hand what that feels like- to my biological dad I was a possesion- he walked around and told everyone he was a father yet he never really wanted the responsibility of one He was never there for birthdays or any of my illnesses or to see any of my softball games. I lived with him for exactly 3 months when I was a teenager and he couldnt deal with it.It seems the title of Dad wasn't so grand when he actually had to be one.
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Hello..As a fostermom who went through the exact same thing I so understand. It was delayed over and over...for the biodad once too (who wound up not even being the biodad!) I so get your frustration and the emotional drain. Keep venting to people who understand..you need other fosterparents. It WILL happen. Keep praying. AnnaE
THE DAD SIGNED OFF FRIDAY!!!!
Our oldest three's dad signed off his rights friday and now they are free for adoption!!! :) we will be calling the lawyer monday morning and getting the information for what happens next. :)
Now we just keep praying that our baby's case follows suit and that they sign him over soon as well. His case is much more shakey.
Thanks for your words and understanding.
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