More questions - ceremonies/ bris/ etc.

After a certain age, you have to do it in the hospital. I guess when they grow there's more to snip than they comfortable snipping at home ;)

I am curious about this as well. I hope to bring my son home from Guatemala in May when he is 6 months old. He will also be circumcised in the hospital. I have just starting hearing that they like to wait until a year to do it. I would like him to be at least settled at home before having it done. But I would also like to have some ceremony welcoming him home....

Our mohel said you could do the bris up to six months anywhere, but after 6 months it has to be done in the hospital. They prefer to wait to a year old at that point so they can use general anesthesia instead of local, but it can still be done at 6 months under a local. If the child was circumsized as an infant, and it was done on the 8th day, you do not need the hatifat dam, but if it was done on any day other than the 8th you need the hatifat dam (assuming you're doing conversion at 6 months or older) We are planning on adopting a newborn, but we cannot finalize the adoption (and thus do the conversion) until 6 months old. If we get a boy, the mohel says he would do the bris on the 8th day, then we would do the conversion at 6 months and only mikveh would be necessary. Melissa =)

Melissa, we didn't wait until our adoption was finalized before doing the conversion (we adopted internationally). I'm curious as to why you need to wait? I understand waiting until you're sure the bparents can't change their minds, but isn't that long before finalization?

You can't do hatafat dam brit if the baby is not circumcised. This ceremony is only performed if the child has been circumcised without the proper ritual. I would suggest a non-religious welcoming party. You can have a little ceremony, during the party, where your close relatives and friends officially welcome the child, and where you officially promise to raise him so that he will be a good person and will follow the traditions of your family and faith. You can simply explain to people that "milah and tavilah" (circumcision and immersion in a mikvah) will occur when the baby is old enough for circumcision under general anesthesia. Sharon

We may be adopting a newborn baby boy in May. We are considering our options regarding circumcision. The potential-birthparents have said its up to us. If we want it done in the hospital they will consent and if we want it done as a religious ceremony at home, that would be fine with them too. We have a 2 yr old son who also came to us through adoption. For him, we had a bris at home with a mohel when he was 3 weeks old (thats when we finally got home). Our issue this time around is that I absolutely HATE the bris ceremony concept. I hated it the first time but caved into a lot of pressure from my parents who are very religious. I was really traumatized by my son's bris (though he thank god did fine) and cannot imagine going through it again. We are seriously considering having the proceedure done in the hospital -- since we consider it to be a minor surgical proceedure. I hate that a bris can be an occasion for people to gawk at a baby enduring pain and then eat bagels and lox. The question is then how to satisfy the conversion requirements especially since part of our family is religious and will have a hard time with a the bris not being performed by a mohel. For those who have done a Hatafat Dam Brit could you share a bit about what that experience was like? How did the baby do? Was it as traumatic as a bris? I don't mean anything I've said here to be offensive to anyone. I know bris is a very personal/religious decision. I'm just sharing my feelings and hoping for some info and support. Thanks!

Nathan had a Hatafat Dam Brit last year and it went very well. He was 15 months at the time and didn't cry or show any outward signs of being uncomfortable. After he was all snapped up, he couldn't wait to go play with his cousins and friends! He was not at all traumatized and neither was I!! :) We did have an excellent Moyel. He was kind and gentle with Nathan and made the experience very enjoyable for all. He got to know Nathan before the ceremony so that Nathan was not afraid. Explained the process to us so we knew what to expect and even sat down with us afterward to talk to us about continued care for the affected area. It was wonderful to be able to share this religious experience with my son and our entire family!!

So, RLK...you did not have your son circumcised, but just had a drop of blood drawn instead? The only people I know who had this done were converts who had already been cicumcised as a child, but wanted to fulfill the covenant. We had our son's bris at about 3 weeks old. It was done at our house with family around and his Godparents. The mohel was terrific and all went fine. No trauma.

No Bonnie, actually, Nathan was circumsized in the hospital about a month prior when he had surgery for another issue. We did the Hatafat Dam Brit to share the experience with our family and do the religious ceremony because it was not done during the surgery.

DH and I live in Israel and adopted both of our sons here. The older one was 7 1/2 months when we adopted him, he had his brit mila done at the hospital. We didn't need to worry about it. Plus, the foster mother was kind enough to send us a few pictures of the ceremony. The little one was adopted at age 7 weeks. He was born a preemie, weighing in at 2088 gr, which is a bit less than 5 1/2 lbs. For him we found a doctor (Neurosurgeon, no less!!) who is also a Mohel. He did the brit with local anesthesia. There were no tears and everything healed beautifully. I have yet to sit through a brit mila ceremony, but the thought of doing away witha 6000 year old tradition.. Well, I couldn't do that either.

Hm, I had no idea you could do it before the adoption was finalized. I guess as long as the parental rights are terminated (normally 24-72 hours) then you could do it. But there is a 6-month waiting period for finalization in Texas and of course anything can happen then. So I assumed we'd wait, but I'll discuss it with the rabbi! Melissa =)

My husband and I live overseas-Tokyo, Japan. He was raised Jewish and I Catholic. I want desperately to begin conversion, but it is nearly impossible living overseas. There is a Jewish community center in downtown Tokyo, but it is a two hour drive, without traffic. So it is really not an option. We are not military but work for the military, however, the military does not have a rabbi on mainland Japan. We are in the process of adopting two children from Guatemala. I really really want the children to be raised Jewish. I want to begin that process with them as soon as possible. With the lack of availability I am not sure what to do. My hubby says don't worry. I have so many questions...I am looking for someone to have conversations with about many aspects...Can anyone offer any ideas?thanks

My older son was 7 1/2 months old when we took him home. He had his brit done at the hospital. The little one was 7 weeks old. Since he was born premature the hospital did not do a brit on him. We arranged for it with a doctor who is also a Mohel. The doctor was a Neurosurgeon, so we could be sure he had steady hands. We put a numbing cream on our baby's Whoohoo and the doctor did a local anesthesia before the brit. All went perfect and after 1/2 day our little one was back to his old self. I have to admit though that the brit is one of my least favorite customs. But, I'm not going to break a 6,000 year tradition because I'm a bit squeamish.

Although you may be aware of their presence, Chabad does have a center in Tokyo. Even if you are not pursuing a chabad lifestyle or orthodox conversion, they are a very good resource, a good place to start and may even have classes or whatnot - a link to Judaism while so far away. Their contact info is below. You also mentioned you have lots of questions about 'aspects' - could you be more specific? Address:2-27-23 EbisuTokyo, Shibuya-KU 150-0013 JapanPhone:81-3-5789-2846Fax:81-3-5789-2847Web:[url="http://www.chabadjapan.com/"]www.chabadjapan.com[/url]Rabbi Mendi SudakevichMrs. Chana Sudakevich Best of luck!Naomi

Ok, so I'm a secular Jew, but, I agree with Naomi. Chabad offers great resources and when I lived in the US they were always good about helping.