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*I posted this on another thread, but I think it might have been the wrong place* Hi there! This is my first post, after reading post for several years now, I finally have a question that I do not know where to even start finding answers! :) Just over 5 years ago I was living in New Orleans, and my best friend's young niece became pregnant. Well, I have had some physical problems and am unable to have children. To make this long story short she asked me to adopt the baby. which at that time I was 28 and single, but wanted a baby! Well, needless to say my little guy is now a wonderful, beautiful 5 year old! :cheer: I am originally from PA and we moved back up here several years ago.Shortly after Danny was born, I reunited with an old boyfriend. And again to make a long story short....we were married shortly after the adoption process was finalized and Danny had my maiden name and I a new name. Well, between buying a new home and doing this and that, we realized that Danny did not have our last name and he will be starting school soon!Danny has only ever known my husband as Daddy and his name as our last name, never using my maiden name. It has just been a very natural process in all honesty. however, we need to have my husband formally adopt Danny. (It is actually funny cuz Danny looks so much like my husband that no one would ever guess otherwise)Now when I was going through the adoption process it was brutal! I was single and let me tell you "they" seemed to be all in my business! :grr: I am curious if we are going to have to go through a home study again? do we have to hire another attorney? What do they require of my husband? Are they going to pour over financial information again? How long will the process take? (His place of birth is New Orleans, and of course that in itself makes me worry about how long the paperwork will take!)I know that the adoption process made me feel kinda crappy at time....people asking questions, coming into my home...basically quizzing me to decide if I can be a good parent. I do not want to put my husband through this nor do i want Danny to have to go through it, cuz that is his Daddy!Sorry for the long story, but both my guys mean the world to me and I want this just to be smooth and simple. any help/advice would be greatly appreciatedthank you!cherishtoday :thankyou:
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I have not been through this situation personally, but it sounds like a traditional Step-Parent adoption, which is pretty non-invasive. My brother adopted his wife's daughter and it was painless. Well, a little expensive, but not a big deal. Good luck, and congratulations on house, husband, baby, joys, etc.. Life is good.
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:) thank you for the response! We too are hoping that it will be a simple Step Parent adoption process. However, with the fact that Danny is adopted and I am the adoptive Mother, we were wry. (No Father is listed on his birth certificate) do I even have to tell the courts he is adopted??? I mean honestly is it their business? He is my/our son, ya know what I mean. I hate having to explain that he is adopted over and over to doctors, to preschool, etc.. Danny knows that he was born in Mommy's heart, but in another woman's belly, and having to go through explaining to a court is just heart breaking! Again, thank you all!cherishtoday
Not to worry. The beauty of adoption is that when it is done, it is done. For all purposes you are his mother as if he were born to you. Says so right there in the paperwork :) I love that part.
He has a birth-certificate with your name on it.. :cheer: I think you will need to explain the no-father listed, so they don't feel like they have to publish for a father. In that way, I'm sure the adoption will have to come up.
You can probably look in the yellow pages or online for step-parent adoption lawyers in your state.
Poolside, thank you for your respones. After reading your last one, I got on the phone with an attorney.Thought it might be good to share.... PAThey do not require a home study.No digging into finances.No criminal background. (Which I did find odd, but I guess they figure I would know best)We will have to tell the court that I adopted Danny prior to marriage, in order to get around terminting the birth Father's rights, since that was already done when Danny was born.Process will take about 3 months once the petition is filed.He will charge a $500 retainer fee, and $150 each hour after, which I also thought was high, but considering what I paid the attornies for the initial adoption I should not complain!I need to provide the adoption decree and of course Danny's birth certificate now, along with all of our social security numbers and the marriage certificate. So basically that is it in a nutshell. I figure we will go and meet with him within the next week and take it from there. My husband and I just want it done, it is the right time and he is Danny's Dad. Ya know I think sometimes, like, what if we get divorced... but ya know what, it is not about me, it is about our son, and again that is always his Daddy. The paperwork really means little to us in the long run, but I know that we have to have it. We should not have waited so long, but I also think that maybe part of that was me as well. The more I think about it, the more I think that it really was me! I know I know, selfish, right? But now, I know that he is my husband's son, and mine. He has been there since Danny was born! although, now do I ahve to change his baptismal certificate??? Geez, the things that run through your head. I have it framed and hanging up in his room. (Danny will know that he is adopted and he will know the processes we went through including this) so maybe I can just have the baptismal stay as it is?....is that wrong? Okay that is enough of me blabbering at the mouth!! cherishtoday