Need encouragement for Contested Adoption

If the biologial father is not a threat to the child, are you sure that adoption is the way to go, if he is now willing to have a relationship with his daughter? Unfortunetly for some parents getting served with petition to adopt papers is the "kick in the butt" that they needed in order to be a good parent. However their is usually a honeymoon period of a lot of contact and promises, that quickly slows down and goes back to the old pattern. Keep a contact log and a behavior log, you can find out about both by going to the [url="http://stepparent.adoptionblogs.com/"]http://stepparent.adoptionblogs.com/[/url] site where you will find articles that explain how. Building a case for a stepparent adoption is not always easy, perhaps you could try hitting him with a child support order if he wishes to now have contact, that may get him to consent to the adoption.

May I ask why you decided to adopt your stepchild? I looked over your blog and it was very helpful, but you never said why you went through with the adoption. We have several reasons for wanting this adoption without his consent - even if he decides to start being a parent, good or bad: (1) He has an extensive criminal background and we feel that her safety and stability would be compromised. (2) I, personally and maybe selfishly, need comfort in knowing that my daughter will continue to be with the only father she knows, if something were to happen to me. (3) We would like to start traveling the world and living abroad, but unable to do so. (4) I want to support my daughter and her wishes - and she wants to be adopted and have nothing to do with a man that she's met only a few times during the last 10 years. (5) We don't feel comfortable with him making any legal decisions about her. (6) I can't fully support a relationship that is influenced by ego and as you put it "a kick in the butt" - especially if a relationship never existed. I guess I could go on and on, but if we are looking for the best interest of our daughter - the adoption is the best way to go. If he wants to start having contact with her, I can understand that and will respect that, but my husband's position as being her full support should also be respected. Loving and caring for a child goes beyond biology and legality.

If you are looking out for thebest interest of your daughter, which it certainly seems like you are, than adoption is the way to go. The fact that he has a criminal record will help you. Get a copy of his criminal record for your case. Save any and all contact that you have with him. Try to keep contact written, certified mail, or even emails, just print them out and save them. That way he can never go back on his word or lie in court, because you have it all in writing. You percieve anything he says, or does, as a threat to you, or your family you in ANY way AT ALL get a restraining order on him. That will also help your case. Go down to public records and see what you can pull up on him that may be useful in court. If he has gotten himself into considerable debt, you can argue that he cannot support the child. See if you can get people that know him on your side that could testify on your behalf in court. Do you have any contact with his family, are his parents, grandma and grandpa? Would they help you severe ties with their son? When you are building a stepparent adoption case, you really have to think outside the box! Again, just sueing him for child support may simply scare him away. It has worked in many cases that I have heard of. And the main reason that I adopted my stepson, is that he asked me to! I wanted him to have a stable loving family, and for him to know that he will have a mom forever who will never leave him. My husband was also afraid that if something happened to him, that my son would go to his biological mother, which was an abusive situation. Many of the same reasons and concerns that you have with your daughter, are the same for our adoption.