x-post: How do you feel about visitations in your home?

I would not be copmfortable with this and would discontiue fostering if that was a requirement. I think it could be an option. Once the fosterparents and socail worker got to know the family better, but even then the SW should probably attend and supervise the first few visits in the home to help set the rules and get a feel for how it is going. After that I would imagine it would be very important for the fosterparent to keep a detailed log of how everything went, and be willing to appear in court to testify. The problem I see is that SW's learn A LOT about the case and progress or lack of progress being made by supervising the visits themselves. To remove them from that postion would leave the children at a dissadvantage. In my area SW'rs are supposed to come out to check on the child in the foster home once a month... In the last almost 4 years we've had maybe 5 home visits just for that purpose and that is being generous!!! I can only imagine how these children could just get lost in the system even more than they already are.

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I know that both sets of bios in our cases were meth addicts. In the NW it is running SO rampant! They are stealing guardrails off overpasses in order to get hte money to support their habbits. The fact that some even live on the streets, I have always feared the bios finding our where we live and breaking in. We are not the Trumps, but we have nice things that could be sold for a quick buck/fix.

If this were made mandatory in my state I would have to stop fostering.The safety of my family is very important. Some families are good to work with some are crazy. There are reasons these children are taken away.

I understand that we can help mentor SOME of these parents, but as they say you can lead a horse to water, not everyone wants help, and some bio-parents feel threatened by foster parents. In our county it is being considered, but here alot of foster parents said they would terminate there services if this became mandatory. It will start, but only with those foster parents who fill up to it, and only with bio parents who is most likely to get there children back. I have had in-home visits, with a couple who I had there son for awhile, the visits in my home was a great benefit to both the child and his parents, they had a hard time with disapline, and rules, and we taught them the way we handled him. He was returned to his parents and is doing good, we are still in contact with them. This is not for everyone, and a lot of work. I think you need to know who you are dealing with, It can be a dangerous thing just to allow anyone into our homes, the counties who do this on a mandentory basises will lose alot of good foster parents.. its our homes our decision, let these sw take these parents into there homes..lol..see if they think its a great idea. Let us know..good luck

Initially I thought it may be a good idea. However, in dealing with parents with substance abuse issues, there would be problems. I can't see this happening. I can see the foster and bio parents meeting in a neutral place(mall) but not at the fp's house. When I did the MAPP classes, the cw said the bio parents aren't hold where the foster parents lived unless the foster parents agreed to it.

Not just no but HECK NO! We have 2 kids w/ us, we're currently in the process of being licensed as foster parents. We knew these kiddos because they are my daughter's best friend and brother. Their father is in prison and mom has major substance abuse problems that led to her walking off on her 2 teenagers w/o warning. Initially they were here after she voluntarily signed them over to us. She went to jail for unrelated stuff (after walking out on them). I tried to help supervise visitations after her release somewhat but she refuses to do anything but what she wants to do and doesn't understand why the kids want nothing to do with her. I declined to supervise when asked by the judge (after we were given nonrelative custodian guardianship, which is what we still have) so the case manager did it. Our CM stopped the first supervised visitation because the mom again did everything she was told not to do, including showing up inebriated. I guess lucky for us the mom hasn't been seen since (almost 2 months now). The kids are doing better when she's not subjecting them to the hell they've been through the past 12-14 years of their life. This is not the kind of person I want in my house. It's bad enough she knows where we live (but never shows up thank goodness!). She has a criminal record that spans way back, is currently being investigated for forging/cashing 4 $500 checks from the only "friend" willing to help her out, and has in the past been known to steal money from a dying neighbor that she went to the store to buy groceries for. With their dad being in prison (including 2 convictions for child abuse, lots of substance abuse charges, theft, etc) and my husband being a deputy....I in NO WAY will entertain having him in my home when he is released. I won't even give him our info to mail the kids a letter- they have to go through the CM. Call me silly but giving an inmate a cops personal info- that we purposely have blocked from county tax records, public record searches and phone listings- just doesn't seem like a good idea to me. Foster parents shouldn't have to bear this responsibility on top of everything else. If it's a situation that works itself out to be ok and agreeable to everyone, that's fine. I also look at it as this house is the "safe" place and if their parents (in our case this is not a good situation at all and heading to TPR) come to my home then that takes some of that safety zone the kids feel away. The safety of my family is top priority, and I just can't believe that any lawmaker would think this is a feasable "standard" to subject foster families to.

Not just "no," but "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Many kids are in foster care because their parents have mental health or substance abuse problems and can't act appropriately. There is no way on God's Green Earth that I would feel comfortable inviting people with those kinds of problems into my home without my knowing them VERY WELL and being totally aware of the range of their behaviors. If any state I was in made this mandatory, I'd hand in my license.

I also think it is best for the first few visits be in a neutral location. I know of bio parents who would not want to go to the foster parents home, there may be resentment, etc... a neutral location is best until everyone gets more familiar with everyone else. I don't mind doing visits with my foster son's mother in my home, but I sure wouldn't have at first.

Nope, count me out too. I'm having a problem with my foster son's bio father and prospective adoptive mother calling my house.

I am honest enough to say that I could not stay partial enough to make a report. We are taking care of the kids these bioparents abused and neglected amongest other things. However, if it was time for the kids to go home, it would be a good trasition for the bios to see how we have been doing things, what type of disipline they respond to best, etc Our foster kids mom is a meth addict and she just simply doesn't know the best people in the world and for that reason alone, I do not want her knowing where we live. All she knows is that we live on the Marine base here on the island (Dh is in the Navy). But should a policy as such be passed, what about us living on military bases? Not everyone can get on the base without military ID unless we sponsor them on for a visit. I am not about to sponsor a person on the base with known drug connects! Our jobs of taking care of these children, helping them emotionally deal with everything that has been thrown at them, is hard enough. Why add to the stress levels? Just crazy. Prehaps the people that are suggesting this need to live our lives with these children for one day....

At one point we thought we would do it, but then we totally backed off. Our first fs's biomom was very young and in a dangerous spot herself, really needing a foster home. We supervised visits on weekends in neutral spots and gave her our home phone number. Ugh. 30 messages a day for two weeks... It was not pleasant. We decided against the visits in our home for her. With our adopted kids' biomom I really want to some day, but she is just not healthy right now. Phone conversations are great when she's sober, but difficult when she's not... Someday??