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Originally Posted By Tekuila
My daughter is 5 yrs old, she will start kindergarden in Aug. She has her bi. father's last name. We write her name with our last name, she is asking questions now and the questions grow every time she see her name on paper. Her bi. father has not been in her life since she was 14 mos. He hasn't called and he doesn't even try to contact us through mutual friends. He doesn't send anything for her, and eventhough i have moved, my mom, and other reletives info has been the same for years. My husband and i have been married for three years and he wants to adopt our daughter. I feel the same as others, I know he won't sign the papers. Is there a way for us to over rule his parental rights with getting his approval for adoption in North Carolina?
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Originally Posted By Joy Johnson
Our daughter is 17 years old on 2/12/01 and her bi.father is still living in the general area today and paying $45 dollars a week since 1988. I have been with my husband since 1986 and he has raised her from the age of 2 years and this is the only Daddy she will ever know. She is aware of her bi.father but she doesn't want any relationship for she doesn't want to her her Daddy. I want her Daddy to legally adopt her, I want his parental rights taken away. Is this something that I can do my self or shall I get a lawyer and have them file the necassary papers.
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nope. you need dad's permission. untill your husband adopts, she is not OUR daughter, she is your daughter with your ex, and your husband is a legal stranger with no rights
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I understand you want to make your home reality legal, but you must do it with integrity and give the bio dad due process, which means making a legitimate effort to find him (PIs can do this for less than $100) rather than just posting in a paper to avoid making him part of the process.
He needs to be served with papers asking for his consent to the adoption and the petition for adoption, and given the chance to appear in court. An investigator/mediator will likely be assigned to take everyone's statements, and make a recommendation to the judge. If the facts are as you say, it shouldn't be a problem and the judge will terminate his parental rights and grant the adoption.
But let the judge do it, don't try to circumvent the court or cut the biodad out of the process just to save trouble or ensure the outcome. It will be more cost and trouble now, but it will be worth it.
When truth is on your side, you have nothing to fear so have confidence in that and don't be afraid of the full, fair legal process that must involve the biodad and give him a chance to respond.
On the note of truth, I hope you are honest with your daughter as well, and will not pretend that adad is also bdad. They are both part of her and it's her truth and her life story.
Best wishes.
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ciceromomof4
nope. you need dad's permission. untill your husband adopts, she is not OUR daughter, she is your daughter with your ex, and your husband is a legal stranger with no rights
That was as cold as ice and totally unnecessary. Wow, the nerve. I know this post is old but your reply is fairly recent. First off, the step-dad (ironically, the "real dad" in this case) does have legal rights. Second of all it is THEIR child. If the [jerk] who is in prison is only a [biological father] then he is nothing more than that. He is not the "father" or "dad". Even when you have a child biologically you have many things you must live up to in order to maintain those "rights". Lot's of us take this for granted because we would never dream of being such losers but unfortunately there are many of these people out there in the world.
I have a similar situation with a small boy (3yrs old this week). My wife and I have been together for awhile now and I AM his father (he only knows it that way, we only know it that way and the [jerk's] own family only knows it that way). We are also having a new baby in about 6-7 weeks and its very important for us to have my son's name changed (yes, MY son) via a formal adoption so he doesn't ever have to feel out of place with his new little brother.
Fortunately we are having an agreeable [jerk] to work with from his prison cell. He knows he doesn't stand a chance in hell in court and so he is signing over his "rights" (lmao). Yea his "rights". Rights for these people who don't pay, don't care, don't show up, don't call, live as degenerate bums, go to prison, OD on drugs, etc.... ohhhh but want to call themselves the "rightful" father when they are letting another man or woman parent "their" child. Yea, whatever. OMFG. I have never heard such [crap] in my life.
The quote from the person above totally pissed me off. Sorry but that struck a huge nerve.
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[QUOTE) First off, the step-dad (ironically, the "real dad" in this case) does have legal rights. Second of all it is THEIR child. .[/QUOTE]
in the eyes of the law, untill the adoption is final, stepdad has as many rights to the child as you and i-NONE!
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Originally Posted By Joy Johnson
Our daughter is 17 years old on 2/12/01 and her bi.father is still living in the general area today and paying $45 dollars a week since 1988. I have been with my husband since 1986 and he has raised her from the age of 2 years and this is the only Daddy she will ever know. She is aware of her bi.father but she doesn't want any relationship for she doesn't want to her her Daddy. I want her Daddy to legally adopt her, I want his parental rights taken away. Is this something that I can do my self or shall I get a lawyer and have them file the necassary papers.
as long as dad is paying child support, it is considered contact, and his permisison is needed for your husband to adopt. does dad have court ordered visitation? if so, your daughter doesnt have a choice wether she sees dad or not, if she doesnt go, you could face contempt charges, and possibly lose custody.
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