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I am the mother to two boys who go through spells of awful fighting. They are 12 and 8 years old. I have always tried to be creative when it comes to discipline. One of my favorites is to make them sit on the floor facing each other, holding hands while signing the "Barney Song". You know the one I am talking about "I love you, you love me. Wer'e a happy family....":grouphug: After them driving me a little crazy tonight I thought I would ask does anyone out there have any other creative punishments you give your kids? I am running out of ideas here!
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BOYS ARE LIKE LITTLE ROOSTERS,ALWAYS SEEING WHO IS TOPS. FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER WE HAVE HAD THEM DO EXERCISE (SIT-UPS, PUSH-UPS, LAPS AROUND THE HOUSE) IT DOES WEAR THEM OUT .(FOR A WHILE AT LEAST) MY 11 YR. OLD WAS THE ONLY ONE AT FOOTBALL LAST YEAR THAT COULD DO ALL THE PUSH- UPS AND SIT-UPS. HOWEVER,THEY DO GET BIGGER AND STRONGER. MY NOW 12 YR. OLD (WHO IS ADHD) IS AS SOLID AS A ROCK.
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I am another mom who has used the sit-ups and push-ups method. My 14 year old son can pop out fifty push ups like its nothing now.Other punishments I have used in the past 20 years are:
copying dictionary pages
removing doors(it stops slamming)
practicing opening and closing the front door quietly 100 times(also helps slamming)
sitting in their rooms, in the center of their bed, no sleeping, no music, no reading, no TV, no toys. That seemed to be the only way to make being sent to your room no fun.
writing reports and researching why what they did was wrong.I also have great little writers now lol.
I think that creative punishments tailored to the individual child seem to produce the best results so I tried to think outside the box as much as possible. I did find that the punishment that worked out the best was takeing the car keys from a teenager. But I did have a hint of that when I took the Barbie power wheels car from the same child when she was 4.
Kitti
The exercise is what my brother did with my nephews who are 3 years apart. Now all we hear from the 15 yr old is how big his guns are. Boys. The other thing that he did (not sure I agree with it) is he set up a ring and let them box it out. Now there is only the usual sibling bickering. I'm glad my mom never thought of the curling iron punishment.
Our 8 year old foster to adopt daughter responds very well to having her TV taken away. When she was placed with us, she had attitude issues. You know...rolling the eyes, doing the head neck wave thing, and walking away while being talked to about something she had done wrong. We hung a small dry erase board on the fridge and told her that every time she cops an attitude we would put a point on the board, if we got to 3, she would lose a privaledge starting with loss of the TV. We have never reached 3. If she has any points on the board, we start to remove them 1 at a time for each day of good behavior. We call this the Bad-itude board. It really works for us.
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We have a family friend who grounded her son (age 12) from cooking. He couldn't make tea, hot chocolate, anything. To me that's one of the prime exaples of tailored disipline, it wouldn't have worked on almost any other boy his age, but when you pick something that would really bug your particular child, it works so well.
i have also done the cold shower with my 4 year old fs. The thing that is working for us now is making him squat on the wall. " like he is sitting in an invisible chair" this one he hates and he knows that his 4 minutes does not start till he stops screaming and squats like he is supposed too. he is developing some strong leg muscles with this exercise. with him i have to change techniques what worked last month won't necesarily work next month.
LOL!!! I am getting some great ideas here. I can remember the worst punishment ever was when i was a senior and decided to sass my mother. I had my keys taken away from my car, I had to RIDE THE BUS to and from school as a senior, go to bed a 7:30pm and write sentences.... needless to say i never sassed again. Also having to be super nice to my sister and have her tag along with me eveywhere i went... Literally....
I use to sit on the front steps and watch my son run down the sidewalk and back. If he walked he started over. At the time it worked great...until he realized that he was good at running and joined cross country!! Something else physical that we have used in the past was holding a book, dictionary or encyclopedia over their heads. Try it...it's hard!!
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You clearly understand that the punishment is not working.
So, try something different. Try to build staying calm and keeping hands and feet to yourself.
Depending on how long your boys can be nice to each other, choose a time period and a reward for getting along (specifically keeping hands and feet to yourself and staying calm).
It is amazing how much better kids can behave for positive rewards (consequences of good behavior), than they will to avoid getting punished.
You can even use the stuff you would like to give them anyway, just make it contingent on meeting the desired behavior.
Tom Dozier, Behaviorist
tomdozier
You clearly understand that the punishment is not working. So, try something different. Try to build staying calm and keeping hands and feet to yourself. Depending on how long your boys can be nice to each other, choose a time period and a reward for getting along (specifically keeping hands and feet to yourself and staying calm). It is amazing how much better kids can behave for positive rewards (consequences of good behavior), than they will to avoid getting punished. You can even use the stuff you would like to give them anyway, just make it contingent on meeting the desired behavior. Tom Dozier, Behaviorist
I was just watching "Pawn stars" and the father instituted a swear jar in the shop. Gave me an inspiration, even though we don't have any kiddos yet I'll have to see if this will fit with them because it would have with my DH and his brother.
A "behaviour jar". Now, the usual concept behind a swear jar is to pay $$ when you swear. My idea is different. Each child earns chips (you can use bingo, poker, fake monopoly money, whatever) when they do something right or good (ie, clear the table without being asked). They have to pay when they do something bad (ie, hit their brother). When they "earn" enough, they can turn it in for extra privilages, choice of a movie, game, or even to have Dh or I do one of their chores for them. Simple cause and effect, with some control thrown in (what kid wouldn't want to be good enough to earn enough points to make mom or dad do their chores, lol).
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I LOVE creative punishments. One of my favorites was for our then 16 year old. He received a speeding ticket. He shared a carpool and parking space at his highschool with one of his friends. When they drove down the street the next day after school, T saw in the driveway, not his big Dodge pick-up extented cab, but our work minivan (4 cyl, crank windows...you get the idea). He was horrified. I informed his friend that he was NOT to drive everyday and if he didn't want to show at the school in the van then he needed to find better friends. Our son had to drive the van until he could pay off his ticket...about a month:)
