want a step- parent adoption, biofather imprisoned for violent crime

I don't know if I can be of any help. We also live in CA and I am going through a similar case. The BF has been locked up for most of my daughters 3 and a half years of life. He has never paid child support and is a registered sex offender. He is now out on parole. And one of the terms is that he cannot attempt to make contact either through telephone or other means in order to have a relationship with a minor. We are working with an attorney for the reasons you mentioned, He is going to fight us just for the sake of his own pride not for the benefit of my daughter. Anyway, We are filing under Family law code's 7822 and 7825. The definitions of these and other CA Family Law Codes can be found at this web site.[url="http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/calawquery?codesection=fam&codebody=&hits=20"]http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/calawquery?codesection=fam&codebody=&hits=20[/url] This may help you. You can read more about my case on my other posts. So far I don't think many contested adoptions are granted but don't feel discouraged. Apparently the courts also like the adoptive parent to be married for at least a year. My husband and I have been married for 7 months but since it can be a long process we hope to be close to a year by the time it gets to court. My husband and I decided to adopt because if something were to happen to me I would like her to be with the man she knows as her daddy. Otherwise she ends up in the system being fought over by her BF and Grandparents. My husband would have no legal rights. That breaks my heart that she could be taken out of her stable home away from any future siblings and her Daddy. Good luck to you and keep us updated. I will keep you and everyone else posted as to what happens in my case.

THANKYOU for your reply, the bf in my case is also a rgistered sex offender, he hasnt seen my son since he was months old. The reason for us to have my husband adopt is similar to your reasons, if something happened to me he would be bounced around until the bf gets out and then, knowing the bf violent history,I fear for my sons safety and well being. I think I mentioned I live in CA, I dont know if its required here to be married for over a year, but we have been living as husband and wife for over 4 years now , I wonder if that will count for anything? We are getting married at the end of this year.

My attorney says it is not a law that you be married for a year, just Social Services preference.

Hi ladies - just wanted to join in the conversation. I am also in CA and have been going through a contested adoption for almost a year now. JSIMON - you must be in a different county because in my county (LA), my attorney told me that we had to be married at least a year. I have a slightly similar case where the BF was incarcerated for the first 4 years of my daughter's life. They've had contact only about 5 times in the last 6 years, the last being in 2001 - with only token support, meaning that he sent a few hundred dollars collectively in the last 10 years. Although both of your 7825s seem to be an easy win, I would be careful with the 7822 which is very tricky: (1) If the BF sent anything at all during his incarceration, it doesn't matter that he didn't support the child - as long as he's shown interest. (2) If you refuse at anytime to let him see the child, that helps HIS case because he can squash your abandonment case if he can prove that he tried to contact the child and you wouldn't let him. (3) Whatever your lawyer tells you, the court is very favorable to the BFs as long as they show signs of rehabilitation and shows up at all the court appearances. They can just sit there and drool and that's all it takes. (4) The BFs don't need any money to fight you, he will be assigned a court appointed attorney for FREE. (5) As far as the visitation goes, in L.A., it's handled in a different court, but the BF can get a lawyer to file in your county or do the paperwork himself - either way, he will most likely received immediate supervised visits without ever having to show up in court. I HIGHLY recommend filing the Termination Petition right away so your lawyer can put a "stay" on any visitation requests that the BF may pursue afterwards. Since I've gone through the experience and now awaiting trial, if you guys want further recommendations, send me a private message. It definitely isn't as easy as the Family Codes state and personally, our family has been through emotional and financial turmoil. You may have seen my desperate pleas for any successful contested adoptions and I haven't gotten one yet. Once told that our case was an easy win, we are now having to settle with an egotistic deadbeat. In other words, be prepared for a slippery uphill battle so HOLD ON TIGHT to each other especially the child.

I was told that we have to married for at least a year but it is not a law. I am in Contra Costa County. Bay Area. The BF in my case, I just found out, has a condition on his parole that states he is not to initiate or establish any contact with a minor child under the age of 18. I made sure I clarified that with his parole officer. I asked him if the BF called me and asked to see his daughter would that be a violation and he said YES. If he called to talk to her on the phone that would be a violation. So I figure he cant even take me to court for visitation until he is off parole in 2 years or more. If this doesn't sound right then correct me. He gets a court appointed lawyer? He is out of prison. Are you sure? Yes the 7822 is a tricky one because the BF wrote letters while he was locked up. He never did pay any child support, ever. So my attorney is going to try both 7822 and 7825. Well see. My heart is pounding from the suspense. This is going to be a long fight unless I can convince the BF after he is served that it is for the best. He will only be able to get supervised visitation which will cost him and then child support which he has been very reluctant to admit he has to pay. I don't see him making the effort thus far and he wont want to pay for anything. I wish these men were not so egotistical. Good luck crabcakes. Keep us posted.

JSIMON - Thanks for response. I have no idea about the parole condition and what's he entitled to as parental rights. If you feel that the BF will possibly consent to the adoption, that is your best bet. Have a serious talk about it. I think you also mentioned having a good relationship with his mother so hopefully she'll be supportive. The visition and child support shouldn't come into play unless the BF files something. Your attorney will file a petition to adopt, then either him or the assigned social worker will try their best to get the BF to consent. If he does, then it's over - you show up at court and the Judge grants it. If he doesn't, your attorney can file a Termination Petition or wait to see if BF even shows up at the initial hearing to contest. If he doesn't show up, the judge will grant the adoption. If he does and contest, YES - he will be assigned a court appointed attorney to fight on his behalf FOR FREE. And the only ruling at this case is if his rights are going to be terminated or not. And as long as he willingly shows up at all required appearances, he's got a chance. If the termination is denied, the BF would then have to retain his own attorney to seek visitation which is a totally separate case. It's very true that we've been fighting not a man, let alone a father, but an EGO. It's nice to have someone to relate and talk with. THANKS

Thanks both of you for posting, like I said before I am at the very beginning of what sounds like a extremly emotional and financial battle, but for me it is worth it.I cant imagine sending my son off to someone whom he hasnt known as daddy, and someone whom I fear can be dangerous towards his wellbeing.I agree it is all about ego,My ex was so controlling over my life I felt as if I was just a possession to him, and I know that is the only reason why he will contest the adoption, because to him his biological son is just a possession.Ill keep you all up to date, and ill pray for both of your famillies.