Advertisements
i met my husband in july 2002, we were married in feb 2003,my son was 2 1/2 when i met him, and had never spent any time with biological father, most was when his BF attended his 2nd bday party, but not for long, never called him "daddy". my son, before my current husband and i even talked about marriage, out of the blue called him daddy. my husband had been told he couldn't have kids and really wanted one of his own and this was the perfect opportunity. BF willingly signed his rights over and the adoption was final sept 2003. since the adoption, BF has done prison time. we learned a few months ago that BF has moved 2 streets away from us. he has 3 older children by his ex wife, and the children know about my son. during spring break, the youngest of the other children, around 12/13 years old, came by our house while my DH and DS were outside, she was looking for DS, DD and i. well, this past weekend, BF joined our church. i just can't chalk this up as coincidence anymore. my fear is that his older kids are going to approach our son and tell him they are his brothers/sister. our son is 6 now, and we hadn't planned on telling him about the adoption for several more years. what should we do? do we explain things the best we can? do we just monitor the situation? i don't think the BF's kids know that he signed away rights to our son... do i tell them and if they ask why, send them to their father? what do i do???
Like
Share
Advertisements
i thought so too, but i talk to the child psychologist at his school and he suggested we maybe wait a few years if possible, since there will be no change in his daily schedule, such as visitation with BF or anything... i think we should just tell him the basics, define the word adoption, etc. but don't know how to approach it, i don't want him to feel like he was ever unwanted. oh and diane, i scrap too!!!
I strongly disagree with your child's psychologist and would encourage you to seek out a second professional opinion on the matter. If your child was two-ish in 2002, that means he's somewhere in the realm of six to seven. The longer you wait to explain the adoption and that his Daddy (because that's what he is) isn't his biological Father, the more you are going to rock your son's entire reality in the end. Honesty is so key.
that's how i feel too, i just don't know how to go about it, i went to talk to the school's child psychologist to maybe get some input on it, and that's what he told me, we had originally planned to tell him at a later age, but the more i think about it and the situation that has now rose, i think we are better off speaking freely about it with him.