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Ugh in a weird Spot-VENT
(crossposted)
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We have a fs who will be four in about two months. This is this childs third removal from his home. This time they are planning on this child being adopted by an aunt who lives thousands of miles away from where we are currently. mom and dad are facing charges of kidnapping. so there is a HUGE flight risk.
Case worker called me today to tell me if they do get visits this is how it will go. blah blah blah, escort to place by police, blah blah blah, escort home by police, blah blah blah, we don't have to transport, blah blah it should be okay. Oh and by the way here is the aunts phone number the fs needs to keep in contact with her. We are moving ahead with trying to move him there. have to to Interstate Compact Thingy. Blah Blah Blah.
So now i have to have this child call an aunt who is suppose to adopt him when the interstate is done. so we are looking at what a year. Oh my. I have other children in my home to worry about. do you think they could of told me about all this before i accepted placement.
On top of that this kid hates us. told us today, won't eat our food etc.
It is going to be a wonderful summer. UGH... Daycare starts on tuesday if we want it. here we come.
Jody
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I am sure that a 4 year old does not really hate you- he's been moved so many times for such a young age and that's the only way he knows how to deal with it. I couldn't even imagine being in his place- going thru what he's going thru.Just stick with it- let him know you will take care of him unconditionally and he should come around if he begins to feel safe. Good luck- Rachele
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hopefully they were unaware of all they are going to put you through, but it's doubtful. hang in there, I mishandled a situation like you are in and wish i had not. The boy went home for a month, came back to system, we took him again, he was totally diff. and it did not work out. I should have given it more time. Sorry for situation you are in!
How long have you had the fs? Maybe you are suffering from making adjustments to a new placement. I sure hope interstate doesn't take a whole year. I have a 4 yr old placement and the first couple days were fun, then the next several were miserable. I hate adjusting my schedule and the sibling rivalry. One night I thought I needed to call and have her removed because my dd was being so nasty to the poor little one ('you stole my mother' 'you are a homewrecker' 'go back where you came from' etc).
But now that it has been a tad over a week, already I am starting to feel a little less miserable. I think the rocking and bonding activities help me as much as the child. Before she was just a burden, but now I'm starting (just barely) to be glad to see her in the morning and when I pick her up from daycare.
Daycare is so expensive tho, it isn't paid for by the county and it looks like it will be 800 or 900 a month. I sure hope this placement doesn't last long or I don't know what I'll do.
We actually had to disrupt this placement. I ended almost going to the ER twice in three days. First time fchild and son got into a pushing match and son fell into a book case cutting his neck and head. Second time son and fchild were playing for some reason still no clue why son slammed fchild face into the wall automatically making face black and blue. I had to call placement they were not happy. but i told them i couldn't protect either of the boys.
Learned my lesson
Jody