questions to ask lawyer?

General questions: Find out what percentage of their caseload is adoption related. Ask them about how many contested cases they've handled. Find out if they charge on an hourly basis or by the project. What kind of retainer is necessary? Ask them to walk you through the process of a typical adoption---what happens when, what's a ballpark time frame? What happens if the birthfather is unknown or can't be located---what efforts are made to find him to terminate rights? I'm guessing that you are doing a private adoption, so I would also ask questions about what efforts they make to find you a birthmother---is that up to you or do they have an established network? (I'll tell you that in our area, they don't really do much of that, you usually see them once you've located a birthmother on your own.) What type of birthmother expenses should you expect to pay? (Most states have caps of some kind) What kind of network do they have available to the birthmother if she needs medical care or counseling? What role will the attorney play in facilitating any meetings or open adoption agreement if those are part of the plan?Will that facilitation be done at an hourly rate? And finally I would ask what fees you would be responsible for if the birthmother required her own lawyer (for instance if a guardian was necessary) and whether the lawyer in question had any experience with ICWA (The federal Indian Child Welfare Act). That's a lot, but you'll probably think of more during your meeting!

Good ones. A few more: How many domestic parental placement adoptions (not just adoptions in general) have you handled in the past year...three years....five years? What is your fee schedule? What professional organizations do you belong to - ideally they should be Quad-A (American Academy of Adoption Attorneys [url]www.adoptionattorneys.com[/url]) How do you handle birth parent termination? Do you come to the hospital? What are your procedures for after-hours contact? How do we get a hold of you nights/weekends/holidays? I'd ask for references and check them out, as well as check with the ABA, state bar, BBB to see what if any complaints have been lodged. HTH Regina

wow thanks! those are some wonderful questions! I will definitely take those with me when we go. I really do appreciate the suggestions. EVery little bit of information helps. Thanks again!

Oh and make sure you talk to at least three attorneys in your area. It's amazing how much servicesa nd fees varied - sometimes the less expensive attorney has more experience and a broader range of services than the more expensive one! Go figure.... Regina

You've gotten lots of great questions so far. Just want to add... We have 2 children. We worked with a different local atty for each of their adoptions. Sadly, both of our attys had a pretty negative attitude toward birthparents. We did not work with the first lawyer again just because of how awful her attitude was toward our child's bmom! Its a hard question to ask directly but some things that you can ask to get a sense of how they may regard birthparents are... 1. Who you in your office takes the calls that come in from potential birthmoms? And how are calls handled? 2. What is your view of counseling for all members of the adoption triad? 3. What are your views on open adoption? (regardless of your views, you want to hear how they think about it) 4. What are your views on birthmom's breast-feeding and rooming-in with baby at the hospital? 5. What are your views on adoptive parents being present for delivery? Lawyers who are anti-birthparent will make that pretty clear in how they talk about birthparents throughout your initial meeting. They may talk about expectant moms who call their office as "birthmoms" even though that is not an appropriate term for someone just considering adoption. They may tell you that it will be hard to find a birthmom who does not abuse drugs or alcohol. They may tell you that they do not advocate counseling for the potential bmom lest it make her change her mind. They may tell you that a "good" hospital will keep baby away as much as possible from bmom and discourage breastfeeding so she cannot bond with the baby. They may tell you that you should try to get as close to bmom as possible and ask to be present for the delivery so that she will feel so attached to you that it would make it harder to change her mind and disappoint you. We did not know any of this at first and learned it the hard way. All of these things are said with the intent of helping you -- the adoptive family who is the atty's client achieve your goal of adoption. But all of these things are truly unethical. Run from an attorney who sends up any of these red flags... There are attorneys who care about both adoptive and birth parents and genuinely want to help. On a totally different note, make sure you are very clear on what the atty's retainer covers and what "extra" charges will come up. And ask what the policy is if you experience a failed adoption. One atty we used actually charged a failed adoption penalty of $2500!!! So, while you are grieving the loss of that adoption situation, you are also slammed with a fee on top of it. And the fee was even higher if it was really close to delivery and their office had already drawn up "transfer of custody" documents... (Yeah, we were pretty stupid to work with that firm. Maybe if we'd asked questions of other adoptive parents as you are doing now we could've had a better experience). HTH. Good luck with your meetings. Hope you find a great, ethical, and caring atty to help you form your family through adoption.

Ess, These are good questions. I'd caution anyone though to decide based on them. Lawyers are not agencies. They're lawyers. Just like you would not ask an agency social worker how many times they've argued a case where an adoption was being challenged, Iwould not ask an attonrey their views on breast feeding and rooming in. As such, there are many fine, qualified and respected attorneys who don't offer counseling, who don't provide birthparent services, who do strictly the legal aspects of adotpion - TPR, petition for legal guardianship w/ intent to adopt, petition to adopt. To me, an unethical attorney will not provide you with a fee schedule. They will say they've filed paperwork that they have not. They'll tell you they can 'cover' illegal facilitator charges as 'birthmom expenses' in court so you can 'get around' a law. They'll tell you they have a pbmom who wants to place with you but only 'if you can pay a fee'. As for charging you for services performed when the adoption fails, it's good to understand what all the fees you're being charged are and when they're being charged to you/assessed. If indeed papers had already been prepared before placement failed, then yes I'd say they did the time, they're entitled to the fee. Doctor's don't say we won't charge you for your IVF because you didn't have a baby, do they? So why should other professionals be required to do this or be considered 'unethical' if they don't? My experience with attorneys is that most are very good at arguing or representing any view. Ultimately though their job is to be your adversary. They're also here to advise you based on their experience - which may not match your desires but may very well be good advice anyway. Not all advice is what we'd like to hear. For instance, our attorney cautioned us very strongly against allowing our child to be discharged from the hospital and go home with his biological parents. Very strongly. As did our agency, though being counselors they had a 'softer' tone to it. Was that unethical? No. He was doing his job. Which was to counsel us on how to reach our goal of adopting this child. His job was to make sure that we understood the magnitude of risk we were undertaking and advise us not to do this. We did it anyway, and it worked out, and he did his job. So, no, I don't agree that an attorney has to share your views about adoption. A good one has done many of them, and yeah, when you're in this business you can get cynical over time. Because they see a *lot* more than you do. For me, being a good attorney means that you've seen and done a lot, have performed your professional services for which you are licensed and trained without blemish and without fail, and they provide you with the best advice their experience has to offer - whether you like what they have to say or not. Lastly, I will say this - it is important that you are comfortable working with your attorney as well as other professionals in your adoption. You're going to have these people in your life during some very stressful, turbulent times. So that really DOES count - if you don't like them (we did not like our TX attorney very much) it makes things less pleasant than if you do (We adored our VA attorney and our agency). JMHO Regina

Have to respectfully disagree with a few points made here. Yes, the lawyer's job is 'just' to help the adoption take place legally. However, their views on adoption (specifically their views on birthparents in general) can very well inform how they accomplish that goal. I was not suggesting that the lawyer should provide counseling or other birthparent services -- rather that they believe in their importance and can/do recommend counseling for all, that they explain its importance to a pre-adoptive family, that they make frequent referrals to the appropriate professionals and resources in the community who can provide counseling and can be more helpful to birthparents and attentive to their needs. I believe that any adoption professional should view all members of the triad sympathetically (not sure thats the right word i'm looking for)... meaning private adoption is not a typical litigation issue. the two "sides" are not adversaries. it should not be portrayed as an us (adoptive parent) vs. them (birthparents) situation. these are all people coming together for what happens to be very emotionally fraught legal transaction in order to benefit the life of a child. Conveying and practicing with sensitivity to the needs of all parties in adoption is not asking too much -- even from a lawyer -- whose training is generally not in the realm of being considerate of "the other side." The situation where an attorney and agency advised you against 'allowing' the child to be discharged and go home with his birthparents is a perfect example. Yes, they were all trying to protect YOU and gave advice intended to insure that the adoption take place. Yes, thats what you would 'want' them to say in theory. But in practice, it still seems unethical. What would adoption be like if professionals in that situation said something like, "It may be very difficult for you to watch this happen. I do need to let you know that there is definately a risk that the potential-birthparents will change their mind after having the child go home with them. But, this may be the only time they ever get to spend alone with their birthchild. And they may need to say a proper hello to the child before they are fully prepared to say goodbye. At the end of this time, if the placement happens, you will know without a doubt that this is what the birthparents truly felt was best for the child and for themselves. This will give you tremendous peace of mind and will mean a lot to the child to know h/she had this special time with his/her birthparents." What if then, the professional helped you and the p-birthparents through that time by providing regular check-ins, made sure everyone was receiving independent counseling from an appropriate source (not someone who is invested in the adoption taking place), etc. Unless the p-birthparent's circumstances would endanger the child, I don't see why this should be discouraged. And as long as adoptive parents continue to 'allow' adoption professionals to work with an us vs. them attitude and consider practicing in this way 'doing their job,' cases like this will be the norm. Many hopeful adoptive families would have been too frightened to ignore their attorney/agency's advice in the way that you did. There are a lot of other elements to this particular situation and a lot of other ways it could be handled better to protect the adoptive family's interests as well as the p-birthparents and the childs'. It would be an interesting separate topic and I'd love to hear what other a-parents and b-parents feel about it... But not to take away from OP, the question was what to ask a lawyer and I still do maintain that asking their views on working with sensitive issues and their views of all members of the triad are important factors! As far as the fees, I was not suggesting the lawyer not get paid for services rendered. The fee I am referring to is an added on fee on top of the basic legal fee that the family would have already paid covering all the work completed. And this is a fee per potential-birthmother. So, if a family has been "matched" lets say for 2 months and the adoption falls through, they have already paid for all the legal work done during that time and then receive a bill for an additional amount. If they "match" again with another potential birthparent, they have to repay the legal fee all over again. Not sure why this is reasonable. Certain fees, yes, if things have to be done again and that is someone's time/labor okay, but a portion of those fees should be "rolled" over to another situation. JMHO. Finally I do agree that you need to be comfortable with the adoption professional you hire. That is paramount. It would just also be nice if the professional is someone with whom the potential birthparents can also feel comfortable for however much contact they may need to have until/unless the p-birthparent is referred for separate legal representation from someone else.

You know, I think the two previous posts raise a really important point that is important to the OP's question. While I agree that it would be useful to understand an attorney's views on some of these issues, e.g. open adoption and counseling just because you are choosing a personal representative and you want to be comfortable with them, I don't at all agree that it's unethical for a lawyer to advise against an aparent allowing birthparents to take a child home. Lawyers are required, under the rules of the American Bar Association, to zealously represent their clients. Not the birthparents, not the hospital, not the agency. A lawyer is an advocate, not a liaison. I think that's an important distinction between lawyers and agencies. I think, in fact, that it may be a deciding factor in using one instead of the other. Agencies do act as liaisons, and the ethics that apply to that position are different.

My thoughts exactly. Lawyers should absolutely not impose their personal beliefs on their client. They should service the client by counseling them in matters of the law and in the benefit of their experience. That may seem and often is adversarial. And often, it's against their personal beliefs. I've seen divorce attorneys whom I know directly abhor their client and the position they wish to take, yet they do so with professionalism and without their client ever detecting their contempt. Because that's their job. I'd view it as unethical for them to do otherwise - to impose their personal view or act on anyone's behalf other than mine. I'm not paying them to offer advice to someone else. I'm paying them to represent me. That they better well do to the very best of their ability, personal feelings regardless. Now an agency, yes, it is their job to counsel all and act as a liaison. And they did use different words and communicate with both us and our son's bparents about the situation. They counseled against it because of their interaction with all of it - not because it was in our best interest but because they felt it was also in his bparents' best interests. Their reasons behind that were complicated and private but it was good advice. We chose not to take it but we all appreciated them saying it - doing their job for ALL of us. JMHO Regina