Why Foster? What is your reason...then and now?

It is such a huge decision - the one to actually play a HUGE role forming a child's life. So many of these children would NEVER have an idea of a stable, loving family if it weren't for the good-hearted people all over the world volunteer in the Big Sister, Big Brother Programs, Guardian ad Lidem programs etc. The people that are blessed enough to be able to open thier homes are able to make the biggest difference in the children's lives. So many of the children that have come to us have not actually lived in a home - they've been moved from relative to friend to relative to friend all their lives- or have been with transient parent(s) since birth (and more births and more births). Some are starving for attention, affection, medical treatment, and stability, as well as for food. We've had children that do not go play or try to crawl, or sit up on thier own - they have spent their short lives sitting in a chair or carseat to stay out of the way. We had a child that would only sleep under a chair in the dining room (one of the youngest of a very large sibling group), one that held her food in the crook of her arm and ate it from there, one that would suck his fingers and go to sleep instead of crying for a bottle. One that asked if she could take her (nes) clothes with her when we went to church. One that ran every time a worker stopped by because he didn't want to "go". I was conversing with a bioM regarding her children's behaviors and her reply was "they've been thru alot - they deserve to misbehave - they have an excuse". SINCE WHEN? I encourage FP's to attend bio visits. You get such INSIGHT into why children are the way they are!! Disrespectful adults grow disrespectful greedy children. Adults looking for handouts grow children that have no disregard for other's properties. These are only samples but the idea is there. These children are our future!! They will be the adults of our senior years!! I really, really need to get off of my soapbox. I think this is my 3rd post to this thread. It is SUCH an important issue!!

I started doing foster care when a famiy member I had never met got there daughter takin away. No one else in the family could do it, or would do it, so my husband and I said why not?:eek: Of coure not ever being around the foster care system we didn't know what we were in for....LOL..Well I called to see what we needed to do, and found out we were to far down the family tree, so we had to get licensed...... We got K, and then 3 mths later a sw called and asked us if we would take a little 3yr old boy, again we said, we not:grr: I guess we never learn. Since then we have had many foster kids, we always said we were not in this tio adopt...well now we are going to adopt:evilgrin: a 2 yr old boy we have had for a year...LOL...know why do we still do it??? I think it is a calling in life, God brings us all to are calling for different reason's at different times, it is the hardest job I have ever had, yet it is the only job I have ever Loved. To hold a child, show them love and see in time them show you love, is worth all. To help a young couple get there chikdren back, help them become better parents, is so rewarding, we don't do it for the money ( what money???) but for the filling of happiness it brings to us. I hope that my kids will learn from this, and in time maybe be foster parents them selves. Fostering is not for everyone, but it is for me, I don't see myself ever quiting, taking breaks yes...LOL Right now, I still have the girl we got into this for, we have gaurdianship of her, and on oct 24th P's tpr will happen.We do what is called emergancy care here. Its when a child is takin from parents, if there 5 or under they are placed in a home in the first 5 hours. The county has emergancy homes for these kids, we pick up kids when ever they call.This is a very emotional job, being that these kids have just been takin in, they are so scared, and upset. Not alot of ppl do emergancy care for long perionds of time, but I love it. So we have .... 1 gaurdianship 1 soon tpr and 3 emergancy kids plus are own 2 kids....God blessed us so!

[FONT=Georgia]We decided to foster because for us, it's a way to thank our families and give back for the love and care we received. I was adopted privately as an infant and my husband was in foster care from the ages of 10 to 16 when he was adopted. [/FONT][FONT=Georgia]We know we want to have a large family someday through both adoption and bio children but just aren't at that place yet. We know we want children in our life and are ready to be parents so we decided to foster and see what direction that takes us.[/FONT]

I'm 21 and in my senior year of college. I won't actually be starting the process for another 2 or 3 years, after I complete my Masters. I think the decision was an easy one for me. I knew that I wanted kids. I saw the statistics of how many children so in the US foster system. There are so many in need of the love and support of a good parent. Why not let that be me?

Quite simply, I am a foster parent because I was a foster child. I went into foster care as a 16 yr old as my mother had an emotional breakdown and had beleived her husband when the four girls said he was abusing us. So, she left all 5 kids in a farmhouse at Chrismastime in my junior year in high school. Up until the time she met him she was a pretty good mom. It was probably one of the reasons I am okay today - well, mostly okay. I never really felt wanted in the foster homes I was in until the last one. Even then, I felt a lot like an outsider and I had a flirtatious foster dad. We all were able to stay in the same school but eventually, my 2 youngest sisters got adopted. Even today as an adult, I am judged because I was in foster care. I am revictimized. Often people think that if you spent some time in foster care everything about your childhood/homelife was bad. This isn't necessarily true. I have tried to quit foster parenting for several years but keep coming back. Now that my own biodaughter is graduating from high school, I am seriously thinking about taking 1 year off. During that time, I will decide if I want to continue to foster parent, open a group home or take my teaching/social work career to the next level.:rolleyes: Right now it is perplexing.

I was told that I couldn't have children. So my husband and I started researching adoption and ran into foster to adopt. I saw some of the kids and read their stories and it broke my heart. I wanted so bad to give these kids the love I had growing up. Before our homestudy was complete I had found out that I was pregnant. Now 4 years and two kids later I still want to help these kids, not just for me but as a way to say thanks for God giving me two happy healthy children.

I started fostering because of the needs of abused/neglected children. When people say "I could NEVER do it-I'd get too attached" I respond "I couldn't NOT do it-knowing what these children have been thru-we all have to step up in our lives in whatever way we are called to."

Why Foster??? Well I am a co-foster parent in a transitional living house for at risk teen girls and I have up to 6 ages 11-17 in my house at all times. The house is owned by the Agency I work for...work meaning my compensation is a room to sleep and a bathroom that I even share. Needless to say I don't co-foster parent because of money. I do it because I was a foster kid. I do it because everyday I grow through the new experiences. I do it because I care. I know it sounds so simple but honestly there are alot of plastic people out there that don't care and with me what you see is what you get. I set rules and boundaries and most of the kids hate me because I'm not trying to be thier best friend. Last night I got a girl back that I had the same expectations from as the rest last time she was with me. She could not wait to see me. I could not wait to see her. I co-foster parent knowing I can't save everyone and I don't try. I can connect with a few of them and they will leave me knowing that for the time that they were with me I cared about them and they didn't have to feel so alone. As a former foster kid...not having roots and stability is unbelievable and knowing someone cares about you makes life a little easier to tackle. So my returned teen knows she can come back if she is in transition knowing I care. I guess my advice is let the potential f-parents know that its ok not to be thier best friend..but if they are not willing to care...meaning creating boundaries...setting rules...and not forcing the connection...then f-parenting isn't a good fit for them. You need to get amazing people with amazing hearts...but the strength to give them skills to live thier lives. WOW...you think be a foster kid is hard...try being a foster adult and still not having parents. Any foster kid that survives thier early 20's with out jail and 2-3 kids is amazing. I am amazing and I plan to show each one of my kids that you can survive the system... Not sure if this is what you wanted...but I'm emotional today and this is what you get. I'm around if you have any questions. Loveccl

I was a foster child so that is why I foster. I understand what it is like to feel unwanted. Now, I foster in the hopes of adopting and also to bring money into the house. I never fostered for the money before but we have a huge mortgage payment now. Still, I do it because U was meant to do it and because I love kids and enjoy being a mommy.

:love: loveccl, you are right, you are amazing!!:love:

We started the process in order to adopt a little girl. We had two bio sons. After my 2nd son was born the Dr recommended I not get pregnant again. I had lost 50% of my hearing during pregnacy and they thought I would loose the rest or a larger portion if I became pregnant again. For a long time I was mad at the world. I couldn't be believe God would do this to me. We have fostered for 5years now. I feel like this is where I am meant to be. It is my calling you could say. Yes, we did adopt a little girl (Sid) who was our first placement. She is now 4+ years old. We have had 28 children all together. Today we are foster parents my husband says I can not adopt anymore we are getting too old. But you never know one day some child may just take hold of is heart and he can't let go. So I never say never.

Isn't God amazing? We had one biological child, after many years of infertility. Before he was born many people asked us why we didn't adopt, but we just weren't interested. We never conceived again, but we wanted him to have siblings. Then one day I saw the poster in Wendy's for the foster adopt program. I am so glad I was listening that day when God spoke to me. Now we have three children (two adopted), and have just made the decision to go for one more!:dance: :flowergift:

I have to say all of those answers are amazing... I do also think it is a calling--one I have and my husband married into. My bio children have "the calling" as well!!!:love:

[FONT="Century Gothic"][FONT="Lucida Console"]I was placed into foster care when I was fourteen. My experience was horrible and I vowed when I was a senior in HS that I would help children in foster care and be better than my foster mom was. That's all I wanted to do at that time. I remember once my foster mom told me that "when I grew up, then I'd understand why" she treated us the way she did. Well, I'm a grown up now with two adopted children of my own and I still can't comprehend why she would treat us the way she did. My AS and AD came to me by means of my fiance. He had sole custody of the kiddos and their mom was tpr'd. I always thought that is where my "foster" story ended. Then I went through this personal mastery program in San Diego where we were to discover our purpose in life. It hit me like a ton of bricks there that I needed to be helping children and families effected by drugs. That was my "passion". I just didn't know how! It didn't even occur to me to do foster care at that time. Then in December my brother and his then girlfriend had his little girl taken away along with her other little girl. She was using Meth and there was quite a bit of neglect happening. Nobody on her side of the family could or would take them in, so I stepped up. And, well, it's been a struggle with this particular case because there are a lot of ill feelings between me and this woman and her family. But I've already decided that this will only go one of two ways: A) She'll get the girls back and I'll move on to foster/adopt low risk/legally free children or B) She'll get TPR and I'll adopt these two little girls. Either way, foster/adopt is in my future, God willing!!:dance:[/FONT][/FONT]

Hubby and I decided rather than have our "own" kids, we would prefer to help children who are already here and need a loving place to be for awhile or for a lifetime. We've only had one placement, and it is likely going to permanency... so our reason now is because we love our kiddos and hope they can be a part of our forever family.