Raising a child with low IQ - what's it like?

As a former School Psychologist, I can tell you that the IQ # doesn't tell you as much as you would hope. Can you describe the child a bit more? Is he walking/running/climbing up and down steps with independence? Does he speak? Does he speak in sentence form, or just 2 words together, or...?What can he do independently? Use the potty? Dress himself? Get a cup of water to drink? Brush teeth? What does he enjoy doing? Does he laugh at cartoons on TV? There are a few genetic disorders that cause lower IQ that are inheritable, but most often not. The fact that he is already memorizing some letters is a great sign that he is a learner. Some kids at 5 can read. Other kids at 5 cannot id a single letter- not even in their name. They would all have normal IQ, because a lot at this age is about exposure to lots and lots and lots of language and new experiences.Natalie

We have two in the borderline region, tested at 78 and 80. They function fine in general but definitely rely on memorization rather than understanding. That worked better for them when hypervigilance was keeping their memories in tip top shape. As that faded they have struggled more. They are both in high school now. They may or may not pass the graduation exams. Neither really has any shot at going to college, though they currently both think they will. The one with the lower IQ rating is more likely to be able to succeed in life, at least in the ways our society defines success. This is because he has more ambition. The one with the higher IQ may make it on his own because he will let us lay out his daily schedule when he leaves home and then follow it with little to no modification year after year, or so we think now.

I almost forgot about this thread! Ooops! Some examples of life with this child: He and his 3 year old brother are early risers, so if they stay quiet and let me sleep until my alarm goes off, they get some chocolate cereal mixed in with their regular cereal. That happened this morning. After breakfast I was sitting with my eyes closed gathering myself for the day, when they decided I was asleep again and started calling for me to wake up. I opened my eyes and teasingly told them they had woken me up so they needed to give the chocolate cereal back. The 3 year old started making pretend vomit noises and said "nope! You're not getting it back!" The 5 year old (the one I'm asking about) started crying because he didn't want to give the chocolate cereal back and didn't know how. Another example: He saw our young neighbor girl get knocked over by her dog, and she started crying, holding her knee. I asked him if he knew why she was crying, he said "maybe she wanted to wear the blue dress today, not the green". He could tell me the steps that happened, and he could tell me that she was hurt, but could not say why she was crying. Another: We watched a Sid the Science Kid episode about freezing and melting. How you have to put things in cold temperatures to freeze them, and how when they are not in cold temperatures any more, they melt. The Sid example that started the episode was leaving a popsicle out overnight makes it melt. My 5 year old can generalize that leaving anything frozen out overnight makes it melt, but insists it has to be out overnight, that leaving it out in the day won't make it melt. His 3 year old brother interrupted and said ANY time can melt if it's not cold. He takes a lot of repetition to learn things, but does learn them. He knows all his letters, uppercase and lowercase. He can write the numbers 1-20 (but leaves out 15), can verbally count to 29, and if you tell him which "tens" comes next he can count to about 50/60. I took several children on a trip to a local orchard for a hike. One asked what an orchard was, I said it's a farm that only grows trees, no animals. The other 5 year olds learned that immediately. The 3 year old got it after the 3rd or 4th repetition. My 5 year old took about 20 repetitions to be able to say "it's all trees", and another 10 to repeat "a farm with only trees". But three days later he could still say it.

Our youngest AS is 11 and supposedly has an IQ of 55. think it is higher though. He does go to a special needs school because the public school gave up on him. He can read fairly well but it will never be grade level. He has trouble with comprehension but that is being worked on. He remembers things that happened several years ago and can go into a lot of detail about them.He is able to spell many words with no help more if ou sound it out for him. He often writes out two or three sentences about something and even though it isn't perfect you know what he is saying. He can count at least to 100 and do basic adding and subtracting. He can take care of his daily living skills dressing bathing brushing teeth. He loves to help in kitchen and is learning how to cook. Don't know if he will ever be able to follow a recipe but he can make scrambled eggs and pasta. He knows how to use microwave. He can order for himself in a restaurant and find what he wants in a store. He has trouble with time and has no concept of money yet. He needs a lot of repitition for new ideas and sometimes even for things he has known awhile. He asks a lot of question sometimes the same question many times.This is how he processes things. Sometimes though we have to stop and tell him he knows the answer and he can tell you.Not sure what the future holds for him but hoping for the best. We realize he may never live on is own but still trying to prepare him to go as far as he can.

Our youngest AS is 11 and supposedly has an IQ of 55. think it is higher though. He does go to a special needs school because the public school gave up on him. He can read fairly well but it will never be grade level. He has trouble with comprehension but that is being worked on. He remembers things that happened several years ago and can go into a lot of detail about them.He is able to spell many words with no help more if ou sound it out for him. He often writes out two or three sentences about something and even though it isn't perfect you know what he is saying. He can count at least to 100 and do basic adding and subtracting. He can take care of his daily living skills dressing bathing brushing teeth. He loves to help in kitchen and is learning how to cook. Don't know if he will ever be able to follow a recipe but he can make scrambled eggs and pasta. He knows how to use microwave. He can order for himself in a restaurant and find what he wants in a store. He has trouble with time and has no concept of money yet. He needs a lot of repitition for new ideas and sometimes even for things he has known awhile. He asks a lot of question sometimes the same question many times.This is how he processes things. Sometimes though we have to stop and tell him he knows the answer and he can tell you. Not sure what the future holds for him but hoping for the best. We realize he may never live on is own but still trying to prepare him to go as far as he can.

My DH has a stepson (M) from his previous marriage. Because M's birthfather was unknown, after my DH's and his ex's divorce, he kept the father-son relationship going. M's IQ was borderline - tested around 70 plus or minus. It was tough in a way because M's mom refused to have him in special ed classes. She thought it would affect his self-esteem - as if flunking out of every class and having to drop out of high school because of it wouldn't affect someone's self-esteem.:mad: It was also tough because, while being "slow", he was not considered disabled. And so people expected a lot more from him than he was able to give, from employment, social give-and-take, etc, than they would if he had Down Syndrome, for instance. If you didn't know him, he just came off as being very rude and inappropriate. If his parents were not in such denial all the time, then maybe he could have gotten some help in that area before it got ingrained in his behavior. It was also tough on M's younger brother - his mom fought against him going to college because after all, how would that make M feel if his brother was college educated and he couldn't be? We won that battle and sent him to college, but the whole time younger bro was away, his mom battled him on it. And M still complains that we favored that brother over him - somehow M believes we should have given him the cash equivalent of a 4-year college tuition. M is now an adult in his 30's. He's single and lives in a home with a few other guys. He holds a low-paying blue collar job, but can't seem to keep the same job for very long. He's probably doing as best as he can, but he is still semi-dependent on us financially. My take-away from my experience is first of all, do not fall into denial. That's easy to do when your kids seem so "normal", whatever normal is. Take advantage of any special ed, behavior coaching, etc. that is offered and it will probably pay dividends later on in life. I can't stress how important that is, what with blue collar jobs disappearing at an incredible rate. Even "slow" people used to be able to support themselves if they were strong and healthy. No longer, at least in the United States.

They will test him to see if he needs special ed if it's requested. They try to mainstream the students in the regular classrooms as much as possible. If he scores low in reading comprehension they will put him in special ed to help with that and give him an IEP. If he scores normal range for math then he will be in the regular classroom for math. He has to have a physical/mental disability and a learning disability to qualify for special ed. If both parents are low IQ and the kid knows all his letters and numbers without much help from the bios he may be ok. Some kids catch up when someone starts working with them.