ex-dad/insurance/idiot CSE

My ex husband abandoned us in 1994 & fled the state of Mo. "J" didn't even show up to the divorce. I raised my three children from ages 4,2+, and 1, by myself until I met my husband"M". He raised them as his own. Child support was non-existent from J until 1997 and very sporadic. He kept quitting jobs etc. Typical dead-beat stuff. He never provided the court-ordered insurance for them either and is now in arrears of $96,000. He was never arrested. He had court hearings in NV that I was not privy to & only found out post ex facto. Interstate cases are always messed up! My husband adopted them & we had to sever his rights because of non-support and abandonment. We never were informed of his locale despite attempts to find his address. Support Enforcement won't give out the info despite the need! Adoption final a year ago. Put the required ads in papers etc. Ran into J's sister-in-law and she said, "Congratulations Daddy!" to my husband, obviously she saw the notice in local paper. J's family abandoned my kids too & so my children lost a whole "family"...so J's brother doesn't see them either. Ran into M, (J's brother) and he seemed quite happy that the kids are doing well. Thank God I didn't have the kids with us or I'd have to had introduce them to their uncle! Just yesterday, I got a package from Mo CSE, who rec'd it from Vegas CSE-medical/dental insurance provider books & id card. The letter from Vegas informed me the kids were insured since May 1st through J's employer. Ummm-Kinda late! It is already July 18th and they have been adopted by my husband... I called the insurance companies and had all sorts of run around "proving" I was the mother by submitting birthcerts by fax...then I could be told, "Yep. Their insured." I explained that J isn't their parent legally anymore and they said, "Well, that's okay..." I am not foolish enough to think that I can use this insurance but what are my responsibilites of re-informing the ignorant unorganized agencies and even my ex, whom I do not know where to reach him? I decided at the adoption to give all this mess up and just be thankful when the occasional check comes due to his arrears that he still owes...