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[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]We are planning on adopting two at once, and i would love to adopt twins, although i will obviously loooove any children the Lord blesses me with.
So my question, is how likely is it to be referred twins? can we specifically request twins? How likely is it that we will be able to adopt two young babies at the same time? if anyone has experiance with these, i would love for you to share.
thanks sooooo much, Marisa:) [/FONT]
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I too do not have direct experience with requesting twins Marisa, but if that is what you truly want, do just that. Keep in mind, that likely, you will be waiting longer for this referral. Maybe request twins, but be open to young sibling boys. Talk to your agency, find out from them about the Regions that the work in, and what their past placements where, and the lengths of time where involved.
I wish you blessings in your new journey for your sons!
We didn't request twins -- we had actually requested an infant girl and toddler boy or vice versa -- but Someone had a delicious sense of humor thus we ended up bringing home a beautiful little 6 mo. old girl and 7 mo. old boy in November 2004 (actually, closer to 5 and 6 mos. old) so it sure FELT like twins! :) Ages to bring home now will almost certainly be older, but I THINK you can still adopt 2 unrelated children in some regions of Russia. Just depends on what you want, what your agency recommends, and how flexible you are.
It's very critical to talk honestly and openly with your agency about what you want, current regions in which they work, their past and present ability to do two adoptions at a time, and their honest assessment of the likelihood of being able to do this in today's current climate of Russian adoption. There are important considerations here -- it is very demanding. But if you are able to do so, it can be a tremendous blessing in your life. Just keep flexible and keep a sense of humor!! :)
Our children are very close in age and in their relationship, are truly "brother and sister" now in every sense of the words, and we personally feel very blessed and enriched for having had this wonderful experience.
From what we have heard, the answer to what you can request also is dependant on your agency and the region you are sent to (so, how many regions does your agency work in plays into this here).
For us, we were told that in the region we have one referral from (we are waiting on two kids), that the judge doesn't like them to be within a year of each other, so we need to be open to about 1 year apart in age..........but, that was this region, she had other regions where this didn't come up as an issue.....just to throw that out there!!
We did adopt twins. Our girl were 21mo when we brought them home. To my knowledge, I know of only two other couples with our agency that adopted twins (this is a really large well known agency). For our first adoption we requested single or siblings, boy or girl, no older than 2 1/2 years. We were told to expect a single boy. So we were very surprised with twin girls:) When ever we go to any adoption function with our agency, they alway want me to be sure to tell those that ask, twins are very unusal in Russia. No fertility treatments:) Oddly, the Pskov region (where our girls are from) is know thoughout Russia as the "twin" region.
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I guess I have nothing new to add on the "can you" part of the question - you need to talk to your agency for specifics. We brought home boy/girl, 13 mos apart in age, not related, different regions even. I did spent a WHOLE bunch of time waiting and waiting because I was VERY specific we wanted two girls under the age of 2 - and had "suggested" twins were great. Notice I have a BOY and a girl. When we got the call...well, there we were. We had to decide if a change of plans was good and we decided it was and they are precious and blessings and all that fun stuff....HOWEVER I do want you to REALLY prepare yourself for how much MORE WORK TWO CHILDREN CLOSE IN AGE ARE. OH MY WORD. Seriously, I was rather Pollyanna about it - I kept saying "I am a preschool teacher, I can handle it" but my WORD I am exhausted. And I have a bio son already, who is only five - really, I thought I had it under control. You know, it is fine, it will be great, I can't imagine it any other way but I feel like I just inherited two really wound up ping pong balls that riccochet all over every single room of my house. One minute, they are fighting and biting each other and throwing toys at each other, the next they are giggling and tickling each other. They are the best of friends and worst of enemies, all in a three minute span of time. The five year old has even learned to gang up on me with them. Now, this will be one of those times that email will serve me wrong and someone will thing I am complaining. I am NOT. I adore my children and think they are the funniest dang things ever - see my blog, really, they make for the BEST material [URL="http://katiedustin.blogspot.com"][/URL][url]http://katiedustin.blogspot.com[/url] . But I used to have this really clean, quiet, VERY organized life. I imagined that I knew what I was getting into. I have had to learn, on the fly, to be a "roll with it" kind of mommy. So, all of this to say...are you a "roll with it" kind of mommy? If so, rock on. If not, well, maybe if you still want two at once, change up the age ranges a bit. Give them two years apart (or more) in age and see if it is a little less chaotic. Just my two cents...
Twin Mom here! :)
DH & I requested 2 Boys, siblings or non-related. We decided if we were going to complete our Family with Children, go through the Adoption Process 1 time and request 2 Siblings. 'The call' was for Twins. Never in our wildest imagine, did we even think Twins. Twins run on both sides of the family. My Grandfather was a Twin, DH's Brother and his Wife have Twin Boys. My MIL's cousins are Twins, my FIL's cousins are Twins.
In the region we went, we were told Twins were very unusual.
The couple we traveled with had the same idea, do the Adoption process 1 time and request 2 children. They have a Girl and Boy about a year apart and are half-sibilings.
As for the saying 'Double the Trouble', sometimes, but Double the Love is better:D Best advice I was given, from my BIL and his Wife, that have Twin Boys, get them on the same schedule, for everything. Bathing, feeding, nap time, playtime. It is a comfort to them to 'know' what is coming up. It gives you breathing time and some down time to do whatever.
I left work 3 days before we were to depart. I went from Corporate World and suits to Playtime and sweatpants 21 days later. Was the adjustment hard? At first, yes, both crying or screaming, trying to feed both or burp both at the same time. Was/is there stress? Yes. Is it easy to raise Twins? Yes. It is all in 'how' you approach it. If you think it will be hard, it probably will be.
There are perks to having Twins. Some places give discounts when you purchase more than 1 of anything. High chairs, mattresses, cribs, etc. Further you get very interesting Q's from the Public, some of which I laugh under my breath.
Having Twins 'overnight' is loads of work, but the loads of hugs, kisses and "I Love You's" don't make the 'work' seem work at all.
Would we Adopt Twins again and would I be a SAHM to Twins again.............You Bet!
I was going to post and advocate for you to open the range of ages a little, as I'm a mom of bio b/g twins, but then realized as I sat down to type that with our upcoming adoption, I'll basically be the mom of triplets, so who am I to talk? I'm not the super-mom that posted above me. I'm older. And from a unique perspective in that my oldest child was 18 when my twins were born. So, I raised a singleton, then raised twins. I was much younger with my singleton, so maybe that's why I thought twins would be okay. Background, my DH had a medical condition and we had to pursue IVF. IF I had known then what I know now, I would not have transferred 3, I would have transferred 1. Feel free to bash. I have one twin with significant special needs and if they had a few years between them I think I could have done a better job for both. That's my viewpoint on my life. Children adopted at whatever age will present w/SN to some degree. Having just *finally* pee potty trained my SN child, I can tell you if I had to do both at the same time I would have gone bonkers. Now, yes, you might think I'm insane for getting a 5.5 yr old adopted son to go with my 4.5 yr old twins. But your heart doesn't always communicate with your head. And you may get a referral for twins and things will sail for you. My wish is your wish is granted, whatever your wish may be. The other twin mom above said "roll with it". That is fantastic advice. Forget showing up anywhere on time, in clean clothes, for several years. Forget dinner on the table at precisely 6:35 and the house clean and neat. BUT! You also need to forget long sleeping-in luxurious lazy Sunday mornings because instead you will be filled with giggles and smiles and tickles. Is it worth giving up my career for? absolutely. Did I have any clue what I was in for? Not one...not one tiny clue. The logic of adopting 2 at once is sound, the costs are less, travel less, stress less. But twins, w/possible special needs? Only you can answer that.
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When we began the adoption process in April '04, we requested one child. Then, as time passed, we kept thinking that we really wanted two children. Having to redo all the paperwork after it expired made the decision to pursue a second referral even easier. Children were coming off the registry each month, so waiting an extra month for our second referral really wasn't a big deal. We adopted from Vladivostok & were permitted to adopt two babies unrelated biologically. (They are five weeks apart in age, so it's pretty much like raising twins) In the beginning, it was rough trying to fulfill the needs of two children. A lot of the time, I am alone with them, while my husband is at work, so they had to learn to wait their turn. But it's getting a little easier. My husband & I definitely did not want to make anymore trips back to Russia, so adopting them both at the same time was the only way to go for us. Please PM me with any questions you may have. I would be happy to help. Best of luck to you! Kathy
When we adopted in 2004, we wanted 2 children under the age of two. Really we had hoped for twins but did not make any specific request for them. In the end we came home with two children, a boy age 11 months, and a girl age 18 months. They are 7 months apart, but act like twins and are roughly the same size, so we get the question "are they twins" all the time.
We wouldn't change a thing. I really think that even though they are alot of work, it was better for us to get two at once. They really love each other (most of the times, sometimes they fight over toys of course). They really have helped each other also. Our son is a little delayed, but our daughter has really helped him because she is a little ahead. I think it is really been helpful that they had each other the whole time also. When we left the orphanage, they had been together for all of the visits, so they knew each other a little. I do not know if this is why, but they seemed pretty calm the whole way home. It is also great that they have each other to play with too. In preschool, the teacher told me she could tell he had a playmate of a similar age at home because of how easily he gets the concept of sharing. (after he is asked of course...lol)
We may be crazy, but we are going to do it again. We have been filling out the first paperwork to adopt again, two at once again, two under age 2. This time we are specifically requesting twins. I am not sure how they will word it, because we will be willing to adopt unrelated also, but we had a conversation with the agency about it. We figure it is worth a try. First we will be looking for bio-siblings to our children though, so the twins thing could change if we find a bio-sibling. But we will see.
Good luck to you. There are many regions that will let you do virtual twinning also. We adopted from Izhevsk, in the region of Udmurtia.