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I read both but thought they painted a very dim picture of children from the system. They're not all hurt to the extent most often described by the author and many can be helped with proper resources. These two books were borrowed to me by a fellow foster parent and they just made me so upset. Sure the scenarios may be realistic in a few cases but I felt like the author gave the impression that most if not all children coming thru the system were as hurt as was described. I felt these books would deter most people thinking about doing foster care from taking the next step.
chevyjewel
I read both but thought they painted a very dim picture of children from the system. They're not all hurt to the extent most often described by the author and many can be helped with proper resources. These two books were borrowed to me by a fellow foster parent and they just made me so upset. Sure the scenarios may be realistic in a few cases but I felt like the author gave the impression that most if not all children coming thru the system were as hurt as was described. I felt these books would deter most people thinking about doing foster care from taking the next step.
The people that wrote this book work with kids that have Reactive Attachment Disorder. Sure all adoptive kids don't have this, but they are at-risk for it because of the grief, loss, and broken attachments. I think it should be required reading for everyone that wants to adopt. Jump over on the Special Needs forum to read more about these kids.
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As a parent of two severely reactive attachment children, these books were the first step in getting help for my children. One of the authors is now our therapist and I don't know what we would do without their help! After 4 years of therapy one of my children has made real progress and is bonding. The other is still very reactive. I absolutely think that anyone considering adopting an older child needs to understand what they may be facing. A child with this disorder can devastate a family and there are things you can do to help with bonding immediately if you know what to look for and how to respond. I wish I would have known, it would have made a huge difference.
Hi there-
Don't panic and second guess your decision. When you are waiting and hearing or reading about horror stories it is easy to get cold feet. I think caseworkers often bring their neediest cases to any new openings, and in some ways they should. But... remember to consider your needs as you decide whether to accept a specific placement. Not all children are severely damaged. They are all suffering loss and grief and disruption in their lives and that you must be prepared for. They are not all so severely challenged as depicted in many books and movies. Psychiatric and emotional disabilities are more common than we wish, but many states [such as mine..Maine] identify those children and seek a home with greater training levels. [In Maine they are therapeutic treatment level homes.]
Those homes must have special on-going training and often are very experienced parents who have background dealing with special needs kids. There is no shame in preferring to foster children with lower levels of need. Better to realize that and stick to it, than to take a child whose needs are severe and have to disrupt their lives again with a failed placement. Many, many children need homes.... you will find one that can fit yours! Foster parents are needed for all varieties of kids...Hang in there!
Upbeat Mom :flower:
Just ordered this book and I can't wait to read it!
My husband and I are open with our age range 3-9 (sibling group, willing to go higher in needed) but are unsure about severity level. We would like to learn more and no matter who we adopt we know that these children have faced trauma and this book with help us deal with it. Thanks for posting :)
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