Adoption photo listings ... Reading between the lines ...

"is learning to respect others' boundaries" = does not respect others' boundaries at allbtw, only or youngest can mean they are a danger to younger children but does not always. I would always ask why they need to be the youngest, but there are other, more benign reasons.

working on boundaries-- just that- the child probably is inappropriate on what could be many levels- they could just be unaware of socially acceptable behaviors like leaving someone alone when they show signs of being annoyed or it could be that the child is sexually inappropriate or has been in the past, or the child takes things that do not belong to them child would do best with a strong male role model- the child may have behavioral issues and have a negative attitude toward women as authority figures. child needs structure and consistency- the child probably has a huge issue with anything out of the normal routine- it could be because of emotional issues or perhaps a diagnosis of something on the autism spectrum- they could also be a child that requires a great deal of supervision like line of sight supervision for some reason child would do best with a single female or in a house with much older male siblings--the child has probably been in a situation where they were molested and they in turn have learned to act out sexually. Any male in the house may be in danger of sexualized behavior being directed toward them. Child would like to remain in contact with their original adoptive family-- the child has already been through an adoption that disrupted for whatever reason. child needs a family committed to advocating for their needs- this child will most likely have lifelong health or mental health issues which will require an extended period of care- possibly the child will not be able to live independently. the child is working on expressing their feelings in an appropriate manner- the child is most likely one that holds things in until they explode and then it's ugly--or it could be that they have a hair trigger and anything, regardless of how minor sets them off. Either way expect to witness rages and disruption of the household when the child is having a meltdown. The child needs time to learn to trust- they have had a lot of negative experiences and may have been in several placements/disruptions --they could have bounced between RU and foster care several times , may have had several foster placements the adoptive family needs to be willing to foster a positive relationship with the bio family-- the bios are looking for a somewhat open adoption and want to keep contact with the child if at all possible. Could be an okay thing or could be a bad thing depending on the bios and their issues that resulted in TPR.

Going to try to not repeat what's already been said...When it's a sib group & you see that "X is protective of the younger sibs", you're usually looking at a parentified child so you should expect all the complications that go with that.I've seen some that say they need parents "willing to spend time with homework". That translates to they have educational challenges and/or are behind educationally & will need a lot of help in that area."Making great strides developmentally" = either delayed developmentally or had some sort of risk factor leading them to believe the child would be, but seems to have caught up while in care."Needs a family that will not give up on them & will love them unconditionally" = very challenging behaviors & possibly has disrupted in at least one prior placement.Needs a home with no pets (without mention of allergy) usually = has abused animals"appears able to attach to adults" = hasn't formed a solid attachment to a caregiver, but hasn't been dx as unable to...so will require a lot of attachment work in order to attach, most likely

These are so informative and helpful. Thank you. :-)

Hi: There are some more. 1. has really improved over the last year with his attitude toward school (problems with school .... hatesssss school) 2. They require security and safety which is a primary need but not one always met by the adults caring for them (maybe suffer from neglect in previous foster homes). 3. tends to be quiet and he is learning physical boundaries with his peers and his siblings ( very aggressive at school and home). 4. is working to improve her grades in school and is learning to manage her anger, channeling it in more productive ways (Maybe all Fs at school, do not know how to manage the anger) 5. will always keep you on your toes (very very very active maybe ADHD) Please ask as many details as possible when you do an inquiry about certain child.

When it's a sib group & you see that "X is protective of the younger sibs", you're usually looking at a parentified child so you should expect all the complications that go with that. So true! I am reading now the old profile of my kiddos and that's exactly what my oldest was. She took on the role of the mother :( I am glad she can be a girl again ENJOYS OUTDOORS: has a lot of energy and needs to be in activities. EAGER TO SHOW YOU WHAT HE/SHE IS UP TO: show off, tries to get a lot of attention. QUIET AND RESERVED: withdrawn, extremely introverted HE WILL LET YOU KNOW HIS NEEDS (AT 8 MONTHS): He will cry his lungs out.

Can you guys read in between the lines on this one? [url=http://www.nwae.org/Profile-WARE-dbC.php?tn=3&case=c7586]Profile - Washington's Waiting Children | Northwest Adoption Exchange[/url]

I'm cannot tell if this question has been asked in a mean-spirited way or not. It seems that this young man needs a highly trained adoptive family prepared to deal with his many issues. My heart goes out to him. He sounds like a teenager who suffers from RAD as a result of abuse and neglect.

unfortunately this kiddo has very serious issues- I would not consider taking a child with this history. Reading between the lines here it basically says that the child was adopted at a younger age and that disrupted, he is now in an RTF due to his behavior, he has violent explosions brought on by any small frustration which he feels no remorse for. I would expect that this young man gets violent on a regular basis when he cannot control his environment and the people in it. Very sad

I might also question, based on their statements of learning to identify cause and effect, if he may have FAS/ FAE or some kind of developmental delay or traumatic brain injury. It could be that he also gets pleasure out of harming others, or it could be that, based on organic brain issues, he is unable to empathize so does not identify remorse. It sounds like he was actually abused in his previous adoptive home; not that this necessarily has worse effects than being abused in bio home, but if he has experiences of multiple families being abusive or neglecting him (assuming this was not an infant adoption that he was removed from), it would make sense that attachment issues would be worse. As a professional, one of the most challenging kids I ever ran into was one who was removed as a toddler due to neglect and placed in a relative home who was abusive, then removed in elementary school. That child's experience was generalized to "all parents will harm me" more so than those who have been experienced similar things but in only one home.Clear rules and consistent consequences, coupled with the statement that he could benefit from limited choices, makes me wonder again about FAS/ FAE, TBI, or developmental delays in addition to behavioral issues. While this would also apply to a child who is conduct disordered, when I am writing evaluations (not the same as a profile, but I have noticed that they sometimes lift the language from them for profiles), I would word it differently. Rather than "He also needs structure; a predictable daily routine, with clear rules, limits, and consistent consequences" I would probably say something like "X needs a home with consistent supervision including expectations that are clear and consistent followed by rewards for meeting these expectations and consequences for not doing so. It will be important that these rewards and consequences are clearly identified as being controlled by the caregiver in order to help X accept others in authority and relax his need to control his environment."

I might also question, based on their statements of learning to identify cause and effect, if he may have FAS/ FAE or some kind of developmental delay or traumatic brain injury. It could be that he also gets pleasure out of harming others, or it could be that, based on organic brain issues, he is unable to empathize so does not identify remorse. It sounds like he was actually abused in his previous adoptive home; not that this necessarily has worse effects than being abused in bio home, but if he has experiences of multiple families being abusive or neglecting him (assuming this was not an infant adoption that he was removed from), it would make sense that attachment issues would be worse. As a professional, one of the most challenging kids I ever ran into was one who was removed as a toddler due to neglect and placed in a relative home who was abusive, then removed in elementary school. That child's experience was generalized to "all parents will harm me" more so than those who have been experienced similar things but in only one home. Clear rules and consistent consequences, coupled with the statement that he could benefit from limited choices, makes me wonder again about FAS/ FAE, TBI, or developmental delays in addition to behavioral issues. While this would also apply to a child who is conduct disordered, when I am writing evaluations (not the same as a profile, but I have noticed that they sometimes lift the language from them for profiles), I would word it differently. Rather than "He also needs structure; a predictable daily routine, with clear rules, limits, and consistent consequences" I would probably say something like "X needs a home with consistent supervision including expectations that are clear and consistent followed by rewards for meeting these expectations and consequences for not doing so. It will be important that these rewards and consequences are clearly identified as being controlled by the caregiver in order to help X accept others in authority and relax his need to control his environment."