Fosting when you have young biological children

My parents were foster parents even before I was born (I have 3 older brothers) back in the early 1950's and they continued to foster until I was around 11 yrs old. They adopted one of their foster children (my sister Diane) and I still keep in touch with my foster sister that was with us from the time she came to us as a newborn (I was 11 mo) until she left to go home with her birthmom at age 7 yrs. I can only tell you from my point of view as a child who saw children coming and going in my youngest years, it enriched my life and I am now a foster mom myself. I raised 4 birth children who are now grown, then 4 yrs ago I began fostering and have already adopted my 1st two placements who are now 4 and 6 yrs old. I didn't plan on adopting but their birthmom passed away and I was bonded with them...so now they are mine! Presently I am fostering a 3 1/2 yr old that in my opinion will more than likely come up for adoption, considering the situation he is coming from. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Thank you. I got the application and tallked with the recruiter. I am excited yet very scared. I don't know anyone that has ever fostered but have always known I wanted to do this.

We have been fostering for a year and a half and have 4 bio children ages, 3, 6, 7, and 10. We have fostered 3 girls ages 11, 13 and 17 ( currently in adoption process). We love having these girls in our home, although it can be trying and is difficult four the bios at times. Yesterday my 7 yo said "mom i dont like T anymore can we send her back to her old mom?" :( Overall the kids are doing great with it. My advice would be this, do a lot of reading to find out what kinds of issues you are willing and able to deal with and thouroughly discuss these with your worker then make sure the children you accept in no way are compomising the safety of your young children. I hope God blesses you with some fabulous children!

We have been fostering for 4 years and have a 3 year old adopted son and a 19 month old biological daughter. At this point, I love fostering and can't imagine not doing it. But, if my "core" family were being jeopardized, I would stop immediately. I like that my children are growing up in a culture of love and acceptance...learning that you can make a difference someones life and knowing that they are safe and secure. I have heard comments from my son that could be construed as negative...but I have used them as a basis for sitting down with him and openly talking about his concerns. I have heard..."When is G coming home?", "Why doesn't he live here anymore", "Did you send them away because they were bad". "Are you going to send me away if I am bad" and of course I have heard "I don't like G, I want him to go live with his daddy again". My children are taught daily, that I love them unconditionally, that we are helping other kids and that life is not always as wonderful as they would like to think. I think it is VERY important to pay special attention to each child's individual needs, and to make sure that each child get the individual mommy and me or daddy and me time that they so need. We also make a point of having "core" family time. Time when the foster child is visiting his parents or having special individual time with Grandma or whatever...and then our "core" family is able to refocus, bond and be a "core" family. Don't get me wrong...we absolutely treat our foster children as ours...but they are so young that they have no idea that we are having "core family" time without them...and the "entire family" time is everyday. Good luck, and remember that even at the youngest of ages, you can have conversations with your children about the realities of life. (on their level)

I have two young biological sons, ages 5 and 2, and I had the same questions about fostering when I was considering finally becoming licensed to foster. I believe it is very important that my oldest bio remains the oldest in the house, so I do not take kids older than 4 years old. My first placement was a sibling group of 2 ages 4 and 2, and I found out that it was too much for a my oldest bioson to have a foster brother too close to his own age, my 2 year old on the other hand, seemed to enjoy our former 2 y.o. fd. I think fostering while children are this young is possible and teaches your children some wonderful lessons. My only advise would be to begin with only one fchild, to allow yourself the option of having a child removed if having him/her around is having a negative impact on your family, and to make mental notes of what about it works and doesn't so that you are better informed if/when you take in your second placement.Best of luck.

I am a foster mom as well as a bio mom to two young children. I've found that it's teaching both of my children that we should help others, as well as teaching them how to share better and more patience. I won't lie and say it's been the easiest thing I've ever done, but definitely one of the most rewarding!

I am currently in the same situation. I have two young bio boys but feel the need to fost/adopt. We are currently taking the classes but are still very nervous about what to do. We want this to be a positive experience for my children and do not want them exposed to certain things at their age. We hope to get a younger child with mild problems even though the wait may be longer. I'm curious about what you decided, please let me know. I am also from new jersey in burlington county. thanks