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I just had some questions since I am currently going through this situation. Please allow me to provide a little background. I was not married to my daughters biological father. During the first year of her life, he was living with me, but he did not work, provide for her, or take care of her while living with me. He never provided for her while living with me and his daughter, such as holding her, feeding her, buying the necessities babies need, and I struggled to do it on my own. After we split up I felt so bad for my daughter because he moved back to his home state, and I tried so much to get him to have contact with her. I called him, sent pictures of her to his mother, and grand-mother and he made absolutely no effort to be in her life. He had a drinking problem when I was with him also, and used all of his money to support his drinking habit. I met my husband six months later, and from the moment my daughter met him she fell in love with him, and him with her. He took care of her from the very beginning, and she started to call him Daddy. She was two years old when we first got together. We got married and also have a little girl together. My daughterҒs biological father has not been in her life, seen or, called her written her, or paid child support in 3 years. My husband and I have filed a petition for him to adopt her. I feel that this is in her best interest. I feel that if it were not to go our way and I explain all this to her, she is now 4 almost 5, it will hurt her to realize my husband isnt her real father. And knowing her biological father, I know he will not be in her life that much, only when it is convenient for him.
I was wondering what some of your thoughts were on this? Do you think I have a case? Anyone went through a similar situation? My attorney is stating it is a case of abandonment, and a judge will have to rule since her biological father will not sign the consent for my husband to adopt her. He says he would like to be in her life now and sent a Christmas present this past Christmas after nothing in 3 years. He also claims that 650 was taken from his taxes by IRS due to back child support he owes. He only paid that cause it was TAKEN from him. He has never paid before. I am wondering if you can also provide me the link for the non custodial parents on how they can stop an adoption from taking place. I had ask him to please sign and he refuses. Our next step is running an ad in the paper, then a court date is set, and he will be notified of both things. Does he have a case? I am trying to do what I believe is in the best interest of my daughter. My husband and I love her so much, and we feel this is best for her. If you can provide links on similar cases or any information I would be grateful. Just wanted to know what others thought about this?
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We are going through this process with my oldest son, bio dad has not seen him since he was 3, he is now 14. Not a penny in child support. My DH has been in his life since he was 13 months old, and my son has always called my DH Dad. We do have his consent to relinquish rights (or so he says, I'll believe it when I see the signed papers), and our Atty is in the process of having them signed right now. One thing I do want to add is that I feel it is important to not keep the truth of her past from her. I don't think a child at 4 or 5 would understand, but when she is a little older, I would tell her the truth. THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION THOUGH. No matter how sorry her bio dad is, he is still part of her history. Believe me, in our situation I WISH I could go back in time and change the facts, but I can't. I am no expert, but I would think that the bio dad doesn't stand a chance. I would think that a Judge would relinquish his rights (involuntarily relinquish)given the fact that he has been absent her entire life. I hope things go well for you!!!!!! I know this is such a tough thing to go through, and I wish you the best!:hippie:
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Thanks so much for reply. Yes my husband and I have agreed when she is older to tell her everything. I just didn't want to do it since she is only 4. But will definately when she is older. What does DH stand for. LOL sorry. I hope a judge agrees to relinquish his rights. A part of me feels bad about this, but I know how he is and I know if he was granted visitation he would NOT follow through with it. The only reason I think he is saying he wants to be in her life now is because he now has a girlfriend who also has a child. Again thanks. Also where did you see my thread? I can't see it on the forum. I saved my thread to favorites to see it again, becaues I couldn't find it on the forum. Can you provide the link to where you see it?
poppy, If you ever got state aide - you'll never see the $650 - when it comes to IRS witholding - the state takes their money first then considers the needs of the child later, if there is anything left. This includes any legal fees he owes the state for entering the order for support, in your original case. Its the most disgusting thing I have ever heard of...but true.
DH is dear husband. I just found your post on the first page that says "view all posts from today". I do think that 4 is too young to tell her, we told our son when he was 8 or 9, he was old enough to comprehend and old enough to ask questions. As much as I HATE the biological father, I have never said anything bad about him to my son. (again, all my personal opinion) As for the new girlfriend..... it is funny how "super dad" they become when they get a new girlfriend. We went through that several times before he finally disappeared (and we moved a few times). ;)
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Poppyryce, I think you have a good case for abandonment. I would suggest documenting everything in a timeline from your daughters' birth till now- including when you asked for his termination and the following Christmas present. If your daughter doesn't remember him, and has had your husband as a stable father figure, that should go a long way with the judge. The best interest of the child is what they look at, and if you show the amount of parenting done on each mans part, it says alot. Good luck!! Oh, DH means dear husband, DD means dear daughter, etc. :)
While I can certainly understand the frustration of dealing with a deadbeat dad - we don't allow people to refer to biological fathers as "sperm donors" on this forum. You're welcome to do that in your own home...but here, we don't allow derogatory name calling...such as 'sperm donor' and 'breading machine'.Unless, of course, he truly IS a sperm donor – but that isn’t the case in either of the situations here.
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Does anyone know what a judge will do if he does not rule in our favor? Would he then authorize some sort of visitation being set up? My lawyer doesn't think that will happen and only sees this going through in our favor. I am just wondering what will happen if the judge decides not to relinquish his rights?
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