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We have a 5yr. old foster son who has been with us now for almost a year. He's always been a betwetter, and wears pull-ups to bed (which he doesn't mind at all). Well...I usually limit his liquids after 7pm. His bedtime is 8pm. He knows he's not suppose to have anything to drink after 7pm, but lately, I've been catching him "sneaking" liquids. He'll go into the bathroom, and find whatever he can to hold liquids and sneak some water. He's even used my husbands denture cup for a glass :eek: He'll dump out his little sisters container that holds her hair ties in it and uses that for a glass! I don't know what to do anymore.
Heres my question....should I just give up on limiting him to any liquids before bedtime? Is there something else I can try to help him stop bedwetting? I know when he first came to us...I expected it, stress and everything else...but he's been here for awhile now, and I would think by now he's more comfortable, and hoped that the bedwetting would at least "slow down" some. I mean, I can tell when he's "snuck" extra liquids before bed...cause he wakes up wet from his shoulders to his knees!!!
Thanks for any help you can be, and sorry this is so long.
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Cindi
bio mom to 4 (A-29..J-27..M-26..E-23)
step mom to 2 (M-26..C-22)
amom to 1 (R-3yrs.)
foster mom to 2 (N-5...E-18months)
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I do not monitor liquids and have told my children repeatedly that wearing a pull up is perfectly fine with me until they are married, then the wife or husband can take over the cost of the pull ups. It is always said in a loving/caring way. It costs about $10 a month, why worry about it. Each child is responsible for cleaning their urine up and not in a punishment kind of way. They strip their sheets, wipe down the rubber mattress cover with lysol, and put fresh sheets on later at bedtime. No big deal just their concern not mine. If they try to walk around ina filled pull up, the family politely reminds them to go change into underwear before coming down on the weekends and they shower every morning instead of at night during the week. Your child is only 5, it is still considered "normal" behavior to wet at night. Could it be that he is trying to make a bigger mess to get you riled up? The past homes of my children made a huge fuss over it and they continued to need them. Within 2 months of living here I had 3 girls come out of them. They were doing it for attention and I do not give any, mixed with they were responsible for their beds. There are so many reasons they wet, don't fret over it. Wait until they start peeing around the room or in the vents. LOL
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Confessions of a bedwetter... I wet the bed as did my brother until we were probably about 2 or 3 graders. We had NO traumatic events in our lives at that time, nothing "causing" this. It just happened. To be honest, I remember as an older child (my whole life I've had very clear dreams that I can remember) I would dream of being in the bathroom, in the lake (gross) or somewhere where it was at least SOMEWHAT appropriate to pee. At that moment in my dream I would wet my bed and AS I WAS DOING IT I would realize what was happening.... I'd get up, get a towel and sleep on that the rest of the night. I did NOT wet my bed nightly, only very occassionally. And I don't tell this story because I really wanted everyone here to know I wet my bed - but because the issue may not be trauma at all. In my case it had NOTHING to do with an overfilled tummy or trauma... my body was just late in developing the control to always "hold it" until morning. I'd say if he's sneaking liquids that way, he's probably legitimately VERY thirsty at night. Have you tried waking him up to go "one last time" before you go to bed (at 11 or midnight or whenever). It may not solve the problem, but it may make it less severe.
Dear Bzmom.My 6 year old (at the time) FD came to me wearing pull ups at night also.I knew it was from the stress of the household she came out of. I also knew it wasn't her fault. Having said that I also found it unacceptable. After speaking with a therapist and Md I decided to throw away the pull ups. When the bed would be wet in the morning (mattress saved by plastic mattress cover) I would have her strip the bed and wipe down the pad with wipies. she would then remake the bed with my help.All this was done in a none accusing manner just very matter-of-fact. We spoke openly about it and the plan to stop it. Within a month it stopped and now she is 8 and has never wet the bed again. I did monitor drinks at night but it sounds like you have a thirsty boy and you can't deprive him of fluids. Just make sure he empties his bladder before he goes to bed. It really isn't about what they are drinking.Canice
Beautifully said Tudu and athikers! My 8.5 year old bio son still wets many nights, as do a few of his friends. None have any type of upheavel or trauma in their life and all have a clean bill of health from their doctor. I (and their mothers as well) have tried limiting fluids, waking them at night, alarms, etc. to no avail.
While it is a small percentage of children who still wet at this age, all their doctors agree that it is not a concern, and that they will eventually outgrow it.
I'm NOT so concerned with the "bed wetting" I too, was a bed wetter until I was in the 5th grade. I don't have a real problem with him bedwetting, and don't make a deal out of it at all. I was just wondering if i should STOP the sneaking of the liquids or just forget about trying to "catch" him doing it.
Thanks for all the responses. I think for now, I'm just going not worry about him getting to much liquids before bedtime. I'm sure with time, he'll outgrow all of this, as I did.
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Cindi
bio mom to 4 (A-29...J-27...M-26...E-23)
step mom to 2 (M-26....C-22)
amom to 1 (3yrs. old)
foster mom to 2 (boy 5..and girl 18months)
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Excessive thirst can be an underlying medical problem too. From kidney problems to diabetes. Have the child tested to rule that out too. Symptoms include excessive thirst and sweating and low weight gain. Our 2 year old foster son would want a drink 24 hours a day when he was first placed with us. He would wet his bed every single night which got old really fast. We nipped that in the bud over time. There were things in his file that suggested he could be diabetic, so we also had him tested for diabetes to be safe which thankfully he tested negative for.
My 8 year old bio daughter was a bed wetter until last year. We tried to restrict liquids at night, until we got this advice from a doctor: Make sure she is getting PLENTY to drink for most of the day. Then after supper, tell her she can have a drink whenever she wants, but only if she feels really thirsty. Having lots of liquids throughout the day seems to mean that she is well hydrated and does NOT get as thirsty - and I think being told that she couldn't drink in the evening just made her want to all the more. We also did creative visualization with her, so I don't know which part worked - but the bedwetting was immediately reduced, and it stopped altogether within a few months.
Well... today I made sure that there was a full "spiderman" glass for him and told him that he could drink as much as he wanted and to let me know when it was empty and i'd fill it up. He made sure and drank down 2 full glasses and then it just didn't seem to be an "issue" for him. The 3rd glassfull was still sitting on the countertop when he went to bed tonite!
YES...I think I was making WAY TO MUCH of all of this "sneaking" thing, and can see now how me limiting the liquids just made him "want" it more! THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU for all of your advise. Gee...when I look at it now, it seems soooo simple.
I'm not going to stress at all about the bedwetting. I'm sure with time, he'll stop. And until then...oh well...I'll just keep doing more laundry...lol.
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Cindi
bio mom to 4 (A-29...J-27...M-26...E-23)
step mom to 2 (M-26...C-22)
amom to 1 (3yrs.)
fostermom to 2 (boy 5 and girl 18months)
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MySon wet the bed until he was in grade 4. He could not help it. I never made a big deal of it. They didn't have kid pants when he was little I taped up a depends on him. his daughter is 7 and wets the bed she wears kid pants. My foster son is 3 I put a diaper on him at nap time and bedtime. He will stop when his little bladder grows. ROBIN
We are allowing him to drink as much as he wants durning the day, and still offering him liquids at nite, but asking him to "slow down" since he'll be going to bed soon. We've also stopped using Pull-Ups on him. The first 2 nights he didn't wear them, he woke up DRY! But then he slipped up some and has been waking up wet some mornings, and dry some others. We always make a REAL BIG DEAL about him waking up dry, and only say things like, "oops, oh well, it's ok". He gets a bath everymorning wether he's wet or dry...so he doesn't feel bad about it when he does wake up wet. Yes, the thrill of getting as much liquids as he wants all the time is slowly wearing off.
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Cindi
bio mom of 4 (A-29...J-27...M-26...E-23)
step mom to 2 (M-26...C-22)
amom to 1 (3yrs. old)
foster mom to 2 (boy-5 and girl-18months)