Step-Parent Adoption vs. Custody and Visitation...now what????

What state are you in?

I am aware of someone, who in order to have her husband adopt her child from another man - offer to drop all child support owed in exchange for his agreement to the adoption. Maybe that is an option. It sounds like there is a money issue with him since he wants you to pay his fees. You could ask your attorney about this. good luck

Sounds like your situation is similar to mine. Each State varies and in Texas it seems to vary by county. Make sure you have an attorney. In Texas Child Support and Visitation are two completely different things. They require two seperate Hearings. I would Enforce Child Support and serve him the TPR then. That way it gives him the option to allow the balance to accrue with the possiblity of Jail or being able to sign the paper and walk away. I wouldn't worry too much about what he is saying, he could be trying to rattle you. This is very emotional. Before my last hearing I was a basketcase!! As long as you have your ducks in a row everything should work just fine.

Hire an attorney and be VERY careful about the above...offering to 'forgive arrearages' can be seen as coercion.Additionally - judges don't generally rule on arrearages when doing an adoption, as they are unrelated issues.

I'm in Los Angeles County, California

Brandy is right, be careful about offering to forgive child support. Additionally once the state has become involved in trying to collect child support, they generally will not forgive any arrears, as the state has spent time and money trying to collect, and since the arrears happened in the past it is an unrelated issue to the present adoption case, two seperate issues as has already been stated. Some judges will allow it, while others will not even hear about child support in an adoption case. The only way he could be awarded legal fees would be if he were to win the case. Many judges are doing away with one side paying the other sides legal fees in family courts, as it has become a weapon to use against one and other, but again that is usually left up to the judge. If the father is claiming that you kept his daughter from him, then he is going to have to prove that, just as you will have to prove that he made no efforts to contact him. His reaction is very common, and is most likely a knee jerk reaction. Most non-custodial parents who have no been involved react in similar fashion when served TPR papers. Once the reality of child support, visitation, travel to pick up and drop off the child, less free time, and so on hits them, they usually back off. Many parents do not simply want to sign over, but wish to make an attempt to make it look as though the tried to fight for their child, but were unsuccessful, then they do not have to be ridden with guilt, they can place blame on others for taking their child, not on themselves later on for just giving them up. Your attorney should be able to answer all of your questions, and in fact, since the initial consultation is usually free, I would reccommend speaking to more than one to make sure that you are getting similar answers to all of your questions, and not simply dealing with an over confident lawyer, or one who is just out for money. If there is no court order for child support currently, your lawyer may suggest that you put one of those in first, one the biodad sees how much he will have to be paying he may be more willing to rethink his position. If he is awarded any kind of custody and visitation that is going to be up to the judge. Some may wish to ease your daughter into getting to know him, while others may think that she needs extra time to catch up on bonding. Being three and never really knowing the man, I would imagine that it would be in the best interest of the child to be eased into getting to know him, with supervised visits in your home for a time, so she still has the safety of the family she has always known, then perhaps moving on to outings and overnights. Joint legal custody is most commonly awarded these days, simply meaning that the two of you would have equal say in things such as daycare, health care providers, religion of the child and so on. In that case, however, you could also request that he provide health insurance for her, which would again raise his monthly child support bill. [url=http://stepparent.adoptionblogs.com]Stepparent Adoption Blog[/url]