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Hi everyone- just thought I'd post an update.
Our girls haven't been placed wiht us yet- the b.mom opposed the placement change, so we have to wait until the next courtdate- later in may. If that goes through, S(4yo) will be place May 25,and N(9yo) on June 11th.
We've had the girls (4 and 9) every weekend for the past 4 weeks. The 4yo has been on extended visits - 5 days at a time,then she goes back to her grandma's house wed,and thurs, has visit with birhtmom fridays and we pick her friday evening.
She is a little doll, but very spunky and energetic.She has lots of "behavior" issues that will probably respond fine to some training and structure .
My 7yo bio dd is having a very hard time adjusting -she's very jealous when S wants to use her toys,etc. and also gets upset when S doesn't mind us.
9yo-N is a very nice girl, although rather shy and reserved, it will defiinitely take some effort on our part to bond with her -she really tries to keep her distance emotionally. She does get along great with 7yo, so that is a huge blessing!
All our other bio kids are adjusting very well, but I really think my son (only boy out of 6), is hoping we adopt another boy someday!
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how do you plan to help your 7 yo deal with everything? when we fostered then adopted A she was 5 and bio dd was 4 turning 5 in a few months. she has definately been hit the hardest. at first she shared everything since the kids came with only the clothes they were wearing. then she went to resenting it/her. now i have gone so far as to have everything separate for them - even separated bedrooms, classrooms, friends. they do play well together most of the time, but other times watch out. K is always telling on A. A has come a long way since she came to live with us, but still has a long way to go and its been 2 1/2 yrs. i find myself doing extra stuff for/with K to make up for the turmoil she has been through. its just hard when someone comes into the family and demands all the attention and we gave it to her so we could get some better behaviors. we have actually bonded faster with her brother who was the shy reserved one. he is easier to love because he is not always causing trouble and demanding attention. keep us updated. probably alot of the behaviors will go away after all the house hopping stops. that is really hard on the little ones. a stable home will mean a lot.
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Well, although I am trying to give S lots of attention, sometimes I'll say "you have to wait until I help D(7yodd). I also try and spend lots of one on one time with D on the two days S is with her grandma. Last week I took her to the library with me,then out for lunch - she really liked having a "girls day out" with me.
I know it's going to be rough for her- I am hoping things get better once the transition is over and S is in a more stable situation.