contact after aging out

Hi, as aformer foster child who aged out of the system,i wanted to give you some hope.i had many foster parents,and i stayed in close contact with most of them.my last foster family,was apart of my life and my childrens life until they passed away,some,28 years of realtionship there.my first family,was a family that i knew before coming into care.we are very close,although live far apart,visit when we can.some others are cards,phone calls,and visits if i am in the area.just let her know,shes important to you and you would love to continue haveing a relationship with her and her child.I HAVE RAISED 4 CHILDREN,HAVE 5 GRANDS,and my 2nd husband and i are adopting our fosterson!believe me she will remember you!god bless!

thank you so much we will never forget the 2 of them and your words were exactly what I needed to here have a great day !

It seems to me our kids that aged out of foster care need us more than when they were in foster care. All of them returned to having contact with their biofamily but as they get older they learn to recognize that they care for their bios due to the connection but their way of life is not what they want... still they have a hard time breaking the cycle. Last summer our foster daughter and her baby moved out when she aged out of the system. A month later her baby turned 1yr old and she called me on the baby's birthday to see if she could come over. She and her mom were fighting and she didn't have anyone else to celebrate the first birthday of her daughter. When she got pregnant again at 18yrs old she let me know right away. Now I'm raising her baby neice too and will likely adopt the neice... it appears a life long connection will be made. Don't worry if you don't hear from her right away. Like all kids they will want to spread their wings for a while but trust me, once they have their wings to spread and take their first flight out into the world they soon learn they need a soft place to land. They may have a few bumpy landings along the way before they come landing back to you.

thank you for sharing and she's been really surprising me lately buying lunch and thank you cards helping around house getting job applications so maybe she's more ready then i realized time will tell

Sissy - I have a friend who has done a ton of fostering. She has contact with almost ALL her aged out kids. The only one she doesn't is a RAD young man who really has no interest in relationships of any kind. Some she talks to daily -and two even legally changed their last name to the family last name after they turned 18!!

Stevenstwin - you just made my day :)

I have two daughters that have aged out of fc. One is mom to our beautiful granddaughter. Both of them have made contact with their bfamilies, but neither one of them want anything to do with them. I am the one that they call when they need advice, or just want to tell me about their days. There's a chance that one of them will be going to college soon. She'll be moving in with us while she goes. The may not have our names or our genes, but they are OUR girls through and through.

I Love Theese Stories!!!

I Love Theese Stories !!!

If she chooses to stay in contact with you, that's fine. I've seen it happen before. You just can't do it against her will. She can even live with you after she ages out. She can help pay her portion of the rent, if you work out an agreement.

My first foster son is 17 so heading towards this as well. My current experience with him is I feel he will move out at 18 and walk away from the system (instead of receiving transitional help). If he leaves the system we have told him he will need to move out. We'd like him to stay in contact and talk about it a lot with him. From my research is it pretty common for aged out kids to leave and then 6 months latter when they need help or advice to contact foster families that they connected with.