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Hi All, I just got off the phone with Boots' (my fd) worker. She called me because she couldn't remember what day we had agreed to do her visit to the house. It was supposed to be today at 4. She said that wasn't good for her so we rescheduled for this coming Monday. I couldn't stand the waiting, so while we were on the phone, I decided to break down and ask her the status of the transition process. Get this! They're trying to move my baby 5 HOURS AWAY! This is the first time I'm hearing about this! The great aunt who said she wanted her and who has her sibling decided she couldn't take her after all and she would be better off with a cousin in another city 5 hours away! I guess this has been going on for a while now because the cousin in the other city called Boots' worker yesterday to tell her the homestudy had been done and she was just waiting on her fingerprints! Well, we all know that a homestudy and fingerprints can take 6-8 weeks or more. So I guess the good news in all of this is that I should have her at least that long. Boots' worker did say that we would have an ISP meeting before any moving is done and then a transition process will be established. She didn't elaborate on how that will go and I didn't ask any detailed questions. I figure I'll try and get more out of her when I see her in person on Monday. This whole thing makes me SO ANGRY! Not one member of her family has seen her or even talked to her since I've had her. Yesterday it was 3 MONTHS SHE'S BEEN WITH ME! Not one person other than her worker has asked me about her health or well-being! How dare they move her 5 hours away where I won't even be able to check on her! I'm devestated! I wasn't prepared for the possibility of her leaving the county! That thought never even entered into my mind! What's going to happen to my child? I mean, I knew all along that she would most likely go on to live with family, but I always hoped I would be able to work something out with them where I was able to stay involved in her life on a regular basis. How am I supposed to do that when she's 5 hours away in another city?! The most frustrating part of this whole thing is, her worker didn't even volunteer this information to me, I HAD TO ASK HER FOR IT! WHEN WAS SHE PLANNING ON INFORMING ME? DON'T I DESERVER TO BE KEPT IN THE LOOP? Of course her worker says nothing's final yet. But it sure does seem like it's looking likely to me that she'll be moving far far away. If I ever needed support and prayer it's now! I'm very tempted to call my own worker and remind her that I want more kids. I don't know how I'll handle it if she leaves and I have an empty house. I'm afraid I'll get so depressed I won't want to do it again. HELP! -Katie
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you have my prayers. we lost our little fd last week. we were told on a thursday that she'd be moving tuesday. no transition, no visits, just gone. we talked as positively as we knew how about how terrific she'd find everything--she's back with 1 sib--but she's only 2. how much she understood is anyone's guess. she's actually only 2 counties away, but the sw told us it was none of our business when we asked about her sibs who went to therapeutic placements! we don't know anything, so in that regard you're lucky.
it hurts. a LOT. we always think of ourselves as powerful, and then you find out that's not always true. you will cry and grieve. you'll be incredibly angry. and then you'll begin to feel a little less of that every day. i still want her back, though.
we decided that, for our girl, this must be a positive move. it means that her family is getting better and can handle being together. it helps us to dwell on that.
don't give up. we're taking a break and doing a little self-soothing. when school starts again, we'll be taking more kids. all i can think about is the joy that my fd brought me. i'd like to feel that again.
i pray you will, too.
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