Approaching Hearing - Questions

Daf, I know in ours, the Judge just asked my Son if he wanted to be adopted, if he was abused in any way. Son said no, so they moved on. In your case, I don't know... If you aren't comfortable with her being in the court room while he is being questioned, then I would definitely point that out to the Attorney before-hand and see if she can wait in the hall with a family member or something. I know there are some things you just don't want her to hear. I would think they would respect that with a girl her age. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you.

Good luck on this, Daf. If he is "seriously" going to be there and have an attorney make darn certain you do as well. If he presents a strong case, yes, it can be hard to terminate rights (it is not taken lightly and parental rights - whether it's adoptive parent or bio parent - are among the most protected rights in the United States). It does help when the bio is a total loser but you might still win if he truly hasn't seen or supported your daughter in a long while and you have a strong case to present those facts.In my own personal situation it was very easy because the bio had been in jail for quite some time and had not seen our son since he was about 1.5yr old and never paid child support (our son is 3.5yrs now - adoption just finalized in mid June 2007). Add to that an extensive criminal history, drug overdose, lack of child support, no contact, and the signing of a relinquishment affidavit and the whole thing was all but a done deal before we ever uttered a word to the judge. Bio was not present in the court (as he is incarcerated and waived right to all forms of service and citation in his notarized affidavit).I do know that usually the court doesn't want the child in the room for the "termination" aspect of the hearing. My son waited outside with grandma while my wife and I answered questions regarding the termination. Once the termination was granted (this took about 5 minutes literally) we had our son and other family come in and proceeded to be awarded adoption. It all depends on the situation. If he really fights the issue it might be hard. Not going to lie. Do you have bio children between you and your husband now? Believe it or not that has an impact. We just had a baby almost 3 months ago and our social worker put a very, very strong emphasis on the importance of siblings as was indicated in our social report and comments to the judge. His/her opinion is very much taken into consideration. It was a resounding, yes, that termination and adoption was in the best interest when she was asked by the judge.You can do it but please make sure you have an attorney. You don't "have" to get one but it helps. We didn't have one for any part of the process but as I said our situation is maybe somewhat unique? Our case was textbook total deadbeat, criminal, absent bio-parent that voluntarily signed an affidavit. Doesn't get much easier. And it doesn't sound like this is your situation at all?The best to hope for is that maybe he just won't show up? Is that a possiblilty? If you have a good attorney and present your case well that could very well be the end of it with a termination/adoption granted that very day. Some questions that will be imporant:1: How long has contact been avoided?2: Does he try to make contact?3: Does he pay child support? How long has it been?4: Is he stable? (drugs, crime, mental issues, etc...)5: Can he reasonably provide for your daughter?6: Has there been "any" contact in the last X months/years?If he truly fights it and appears in court you will have to prove with clear and convincing evidence that he has essentially "abandoned" his responsiblities to your daughter (and meaning completely - for a good while) and has no intention or is incapable of keeping contact with and/or providing for your daughter. Hope that gives you some insight. Good luck !

Thank you for the information. We have an attorney and also have a biological child between us, I'm just worried about all of the unknowns. What kind of reasonable explanation is there for failing to support or visit a child for two years? If the dad isn't working (only excuse I can think of for not paying), I'd think he has plenty of time to visit or at least make a phone call? The petition has been pending for a little over a year now, BF hasn't filed anything, hasn't paid any support, and hasn't made any effort to contact her, but appeared in court to say he would contest (so it was rescheduled). And, he lives out of state, so he had to go out of his way to get to court. I'd feel like we are more prepared if I had ideas about BF's motivation is or what he's up to.

Was there ever a child support order? And did he every pay anything? If not, does he still owe a lot?You might be able to "coax" him to cooperate by telling him you will forgive the back child support. Even if you don't have an open child support case you could open one for all the back pay and still use the same tactic.That is the easiest route. He sounds like he has no interest in being a father and basically is just using your daughter as a way to mess with you and keep some level of contact with you (not your daughter). Gah. Trust me, that situation is not uncommon. I know all too well.Not having contact for even 6 months is abandonment and grounds for termination (it sounds like his behavior easily meets that requirement). Not paying child support is not only, more or less, another form of abandonment/non-support but it is criminal as well. He can and will goto jail for not paying if you force the issue. I would just strong arm him if that was the case.

I am in the middle of trying to adopt my soon to be step son. I have finished all of the home study process. I have taken care of the child since he’s been 2 years old. The bio mother has faded in and out of the picture and does not help support the child in any way. In 2019 the child’s father got custody of him where he resides with us now. We now are going to court to get the mothers consent which she will not let that happen. I am just wanting to know what types of questions they will ask me as we go into our first court hearing. Any information will help. Thank you!