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Last Wednesday DH and I were able to have my little ones father's rights terminated and the Judge granted the Step-Parent Adoption. This wasn't a simple termination/adoption...it has been a long battle ending with a Jury Trial. DH and I are relieved this long court battle is finally over and my little one is officially safe. DH asked a question and I couldn't answer it, I'm hoping one of you will be able to answer the question. How do we handle running into my ex? My little one is 8 years old, last time she saw her bfather she was 6. Chances are she will recognize him and he will recognize DH and I.
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hi.does he live near you?since tpr was done he should have no contact right?I would try to avoid running into him.does your daughter understand that tpr was done?do you refer to him as her birthfather?iim not sure how to handle it in your circumstance.but if your child is with you try to keep it civil,but brief.
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I know whenever I ran into my ex when I was with my family it was strange. I really did not know what to say. My son did not see his bio father and really did even know who he was when we happened to see him out somewhere. I would just say "hello" and then go on with what we were doing. You situation may not bee like mine but I know it felt so strange and I could not wait to be somewhere else! Also my husband who adopted my son about 7 years ago was always surprised at my son's bio father's reaction. Really there was no reaction to see us. It was like I said "Strange!" I wish I could help you and tell you what to do but I really never knew what to do. Now we live in a different state and I no longer have that problem.
I was adopted by my stepfather - many, many years ago. When we happened to see my BioD we called him Dad ??. Our adopted Dad was Daddy. It wasn't ever any different than before the adoption - except a bit less strained because there was no uncertainty there. Nothing anyone said would make a difference. Besides which - she is old enough that she may - at some time in the future - want to maintain some sort of relationship - even a very far away one - with him. He (bioD) is kinda like a distant uncle. I know he is related but he doesn't affect my life in any way - I send christmas and birthday cards - not fathers day. And I've done this for 30 years. My Daddy gets the fathers day ones.
The Judge made it very clear at the trial that my ex is not to have any type of contact with my little one. This is a situation where my little one was endangered when she was with him. His rights weren't terminated because he wasn't around...it was far more serious than that. My step father adopted me and my birth father was still around (our weekend visits continued). This situation with my little one isn't like the adoption I grew up in. My ex would run up to her tell her awful things to get her upset. Right now all I can do is hope we don't run into this situation, but if we do I want to be able to handle it in a healthy way.