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I haven't written in a long time but here is my story-while I'm writing it, I just want to cry-I'm so tired of crying but that's all I do. We got a beautiful 3 mo. old girl in 2003 (she was abused). Mom and dad were not married-to make things short-mom spent 101 days in jail for child endangerment and plus she couldn't post bail-dad got 1 day. She also had 2 other older children whom the grandmother took-3 was too much for her. After she got out, she had visits but during them she paid more attention to her other two. While we were waiting for the magistrates decision for tpr which he took 360 days, mom got pregnant again but by someone else. Time came and the magistrate decided to give CSB tpr. Next was the judges decision-the magistrate knew he did wrong so he gave mom extra vists hoping they would bond-WRONG! But mom says yes-all they were were play dates for her. Well the judge granted tpr-HOORAY but of course she appealed. Next the appeals court got it and reversed the decision because they believed her rights were violated-just because she had numerous laywers-hey she had a brain and a mouth so why should this child be penalized for it? So now it went back to the judge-mom says she wanted visits and she kept calling-LIE-and now the judge wants her to go back to her mom-She's having visits again and was told that she was her mom-so she calls her mommy-well of course she was told that so that's what she does. Now shes telling her shes going to live with her-this little girl doesnt understand-she believes that shes coming home-that's why she doesnt get upset at the visits. Now this weekend she's going to start having overnight visits-I feel CSB is giving up on this little girl-we've told them how shes withdrawn, clingy and misses her mommy (me) but they wont do anything but give her back-I can't go on without her-I can't have children and she filled that hole in my heart so much and now it's broken again
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KATL,
Your lasr post was morbid, innapropriate and unnecessary. People survive late stage cancer all of the time. To invest time convincing a stranger they are dying baffles me. I pray youi never receive the same treatment.
ANNWILL,
Your best best is to, again, seek in-person counseling where you're not subject to reckless and anonymous posts by strangers...and do continue your fight.
God bless us all,
Jennifer
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JJemail1 - I really disagree with you, Kat's post was not morbid it was reality. Of course, any one person can beat the odds at any given time. With new meds anything is possible. But sometimes you need the facts in your face and say, you know what I AM going to beat the odds.
She wasn't trying to convince her that she is dieing, she tried to explain to her that it is probably worse then she is letting on and this is not a good environment for a new kid. Period. There is nothing more that needs to be said. She needs help in many different ways and she should address them before even thinking of taking on any new kids.
Would you get pregnant if you knew you had Stage 4 Cancer. I surely wouldn't, I think it is very selfish of her to think that it's ok to bring a child into this home.
thelowlanders
Isn't that agianst adoption rules? No pre-existing health conditions that can be life threatening. That is why my sis in law and husband aren't considered for foster or adopting. The child does not need yet another loss.
Perhaps with time joining a CASA volunteer group, or something fighting for the cause of children's best interests?
JJemail1
KATL, Your lasr post was morbid, innapropriate and unnecessary. People survive late stage cancer all of the time. To invest time convincing a stranger they are dying baffles me.
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I was simply.....asking a question about the foster rules... wow.... Anyway, thanks for some of your examples. As we've all learned I'm sure, the system is not exactly cut and dry on all their rules, time lines, etc. So I understand that each circumstance should be taken carefully.
Annwill- So sorry for your loss of a special member to your family. Best to you and yours as you are strong and set on beating this again. The caseworkers know you and your family and circumstances. I'm sure they can make an accurate decision on future placement of children with your family. And the kids will learn alot about appreciating life and the loved ones around them. Every day is a blessing. Even if it doesn't always seem like it. take care.
Annwill,What ever the case may be, KEEP your head held high and stay positive. You and hubby did a wonderful thing for your little lost ANGEL, God smiles upon you and your hubby. If you don't get her back at least you know that she has a good heart because of all the love you gave her. That will not change and if she does come back I think that would be AWSOME. I will not be to popular for that comment but that's o.k. And I'm sure you now just how sick you are and what to expect with your disease, no one needs to tell you.....Please surround yourself with positive people, be honest about what is going on and if the CW knows the situation and trust that you would make a wonderful mother regardless then that's all you need. Enjoy the Holidays a new year is just around the corner!!!!!!Henderfive
I have read every thread she has posted but she has not logged in in a very long while. I am worried about her. I think that a lot of you don't realize is that this forum is almost like a journal if you will, an outlet for our feelings. People have been much too harsh on her. She is entitled to her feelings and I for one feel privilidged to get to read them. I have been in her shoes and I emphatize with her. Annwill, please let us know how you are and how things are going. You are certainly in my prayers.
HOPEFULINPA
I think the point that everyone is trying to make is that you need to stop living your life hoping and praying that little girl is coming back. You will never be able to properly care for another child thinking this way. You need to let her go. And I think you need professional help for that. You seem to be convinced God is bringing her back to you. You are going to be continually disappointed thinking this way.
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ANNWILL
I haven't written in a long time but here is my story-while I'm writing it, I just want to cry-I'm so tired of crying but that's all I do. We got a beautiful 3 mo. old girl in 2003 (she was abused). Mom and dad were not married-to make things short-mom spent 101 days in jail for child endangerment and plus she couldn't post bail-dad got 1 day. She also had 2 other older children whom the grandmother took-3 was too much for her. After she got out, she had visits but during them she paid more attention to her other two. While we were waiting for the magistrates decision for tpr which he took 360 days, mom got pregnant again but by someone else. Time came and the magistrate decided to give CSB tpr. Next was the judges decision-the magistrate knew he did wrong so he gave mom extra vists hoping they would bond-WRONG! But mom says yes-all they were were play dates for her. Well the judge granted tpr-HOORAY but of course she appealed. Next the appeals court got it and reversed the decision because they believed her rights were violated-just because she had numerous laywers-hey she had a brain and a mouth so why should this child be penalized for it? So now it went back to the judge-mom says she wanted visits and she kept calling-LIE-and now the judge wants her to go back to her mom-She's having visits again and was told that she was her mom-so she calls her mommy-well of course she was told that so that's what she does. Now shes telling her shes going to live with her-this little girl doesnt understand-she believes that shes coming home-that's why she doesnt get upset at the visits. Now this weekend she's going to start having overnight visits-I feel CSB is giving up on this little girl-we've told them how shes withdrawn, clingy and misses her mommy (me) but they wont do anything but give her back-I can't go on without her-I can't have children and she filled that hole in my heart so much and now it's broken again
How sad you try and make sure all is done to keep these children safe and DSS seems to punish you for it. Why wouldn't they want additional help that they might not have time to get done. The more I hear about DSS I'm convinced they are for the parents first before the children why can't they just be up front about it. How long did you have the children?
Henderfive
We were threatened with the removal of our fc b/c we did something similar. Thankfully the area supervisor or state supervisor (not sure which one) intervened. You should be able to find out who your's is by the agency's/state's website. It is hard to do what you know is best for the child knowing the potential backlash. Thank you for looking out for those children. Good luck.
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