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Hi, everybody.
Need some advice.
:) 4 beautiful children been with me for about 2 yrs. I want to adopt, but as we get closer to the tpr trial date, I get very :mad: scared,because I fear how my children will be affected because of their past.
Readed about some bad outcomes after adoption so I guess it has really has put fear in me. Please don't be mad at me. I do love my babies , but I do want the best for them.:thanks:
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I too was totally stressed out when it came closer to the time of adoption. I suspect many go through this. What ages are the children, and what type of history? There are many many experienced adoptive parents around here that could certainly give pointers on things to look at (and they will lay it all out there - if they see a red flag - they will raise it) I suspect with having them 2 years already, you have a pretty good basis for making this decision, many, many people have had to decide with much less information. Diane
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I think your feelings are totally normal. I was nervous, too, before adopting 2 of my foster children. It really came down to the fact that they had been with me since they were 2-1/2 yrs and 12 mo old and I couldn't even imagine sending them on to somewhere else. I have 4 bio children that are grown and no longer living at home so this was like starting a family all over again. Think it through with your heart and you will know what is right for you. Good luck with whatever you decide.
The out look I took on this is that you don't know what you are getting even when they are biological. You know there is mental illiness in most families (whether diagnossed or not), there are problems in families and most are genetic. So the 'perfect' family might not have the perfect child. I have had mine one from 3 years now 12 years old, and one from 7 years now 16 years old and one from 9 months now two years old and I have no regrets. They are gifted and talented, A/B honor roll - mom and dad did drugs and drank. My two year old is above task for her age and she came from a mother that drank and did drugs. So don't let that discourage you. Remember every age has a stage. :) They aren't perfect but they are ours and that is enough in it's self. Many times it takes telling a child that they are going to have a forever family for them to be able to relax. :) Good luck
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