Successful Older Child adoptions

hi,i know there are alot of negative stories out there,but i think thats becasue people tend to need support and to vent when things are not going well.we have adopted a son through our state.he was 9 and a half when he was placed in our home,1 year later we finalized his adoption.he is a awesome kid.has made so much progress in school and therapy.most people that meet him are amazed at him.yes,he has a past,and that has affected him,but thats not who he is.he has so much potential,and being there and watching him reach his potential is a wonderful experience.there really are some wonderful kids in the system that need you.do your reserch,be firm in what issues you and your family can handle.everything has gone so well ,from day one.we are spoiled,not sure if we will try to adopt again.we had a great agency and wondeful professionals to work with.and if we decide to add to our family will work with our agency again.one thing people tend to forget is the kids are not placed in care because they have done something wrong,but because their parents have done something wrong.will the kids have problems,yes ,they have been through things in theri birthhomes,and if they have had numerous foster homes that will cause problems also.alot of these kids,just need to to have a family that makes them feel safe,secure and loved.then they can work on the other issues.I am a former foster child myself,and i think i have turned out to be a good person!so if its what you want in your hearts,then go for it.

You will have guidence from God on what is right for you. I got my oldest when she was a week until she was 8. She was rough but she is 16 now and the best teen ager. I am not nieve she has always been greatful for what we have given her knowing what she came from. She goes through the normal teenager stuff but it is all manageable. She will still come in lay her head on my shoulder and say "I love you mom!" she will still hug me and wants her friends to be over to meet me. I am now in the process of adopting another 9 year old and I would do it again. Every child is different. They just need the structure and the love and it will be okay. There will be good and bad days but all of us go there. :) Good luck...Follow your heart

Some of us former foster children end up being rather normal people. I was placed at 7 years old after spending 2 years in foster care. Do your research. Know yourself. Know your spouse. And make the decision that is right for you. It does work to adopt an older child from the foster care system.Samantha

northstar,you mentioned a support group meeting.there is one here for foster adopt parents,we only attended a few times,most of the people there had children with severe issues,and it seemed they just came to vent.we have gotten more support here online.come to the chat,people there are awesome.

Even on our worst days I still feel we have a positve adoption story. Our first adoption was with our son, who was 5 when we got him, 6 at adoption and 8 now. Then we adopted our daughter, 9 1/2 when we got her 10 1/2 at adoption and 11 1/2 now. Our third (and I do beleive final adoption) will be our current foster daughter, that turned four last September, just a month after moving in with us. If that be God's will - since it is not a done deal yet. We certainly do not live an ideal Leave It To Beaver or Brady Bunch life. Four kids, all with various diagnosis. I don't remember having a day when somebody didn't throw a fit over something. Unfortunately, some of those days I am the one throwing the fit! But, that being said, our kids are all better off for the path we have chose, even our biological son. Sure, life was easier four years ago. We had one kid. He was eight years old. Although he had ADHD he had no real behavioral problems. But there was no greater goal... no God given purpose to our lives. For everry tantrum there is a sweet moment. For every hurt, a loving kiss. Even when my kids are pushing every button I have, even when they are tap dancing on my last nerve, even when I am crying myself to sleep out of sheer frustration... I would not for a minute turn back the clock and do things differently.

I think that the support group is a great idea. However, for someone who hasn't adopted it can be scary. You hear horror stories and very generalized statements about all of the kids in foster care. I don't believe that all of the kids in foster care are un-adoptable so it's very nice to hear from others who have had a good experience. I'm getting more support from this on-lone forum than I do the support group.