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Ok folks,
so I found the PERFECT house. Everything is perfect! Perfect size, perfect paint (love all colors), perfect floors and kitchen, and wonderful living rooms (2), and tons of space on the full basement to grow the house, plenty of backyard, AND one block from the kindergarten, elementary and middle school (we face the back entrance, and the street is off traffic, so kids could walk safely to school). Plus, we face the school playground (which is great too).
Ohhh.... and the BEST part: a price we can afford!!
Problem: it is a first floor master suite, and 3 small/medium bedrooms upstairs (plus a kid friendly bath upstairs too).
I am not sure if it will work out. we are having a baby (I have a side living room on my bedroom which I plan to use as a nursery until the baby sleeps all night, and I could transfer upstairs). But also, we plan to adopt up to 2 kids, up to 8yo, in a foster-adopt process (will start training classes on the fall).
Although I am afraid someone will say I am using prejudice, etc... it worries me a lot that I would not be upstairs with the kids (we measured and no one of the bedrooms would accept our queen bed in a comfortable manner):
- First I worry about baby becoming toddler and falling stairs... (know I can resolve this one with a gate on the stair. and there is also the fact the baby is not even born yet)
- Second I worry that my social worker might not give me good disclosure about the kids I am taking in, and something bad might happen while the kids are upstairs by themselves and I am all the way downstairs (anything from fights, to a child with issues abusing another child/baby, or.... who knows... them putting fire in the house while I am sleeping.... I dont know...).
My husband says we can use one of those electronic things we use to listen to the baby (can't remember name) to keep track of what goes on upstairs during night time, but I feel it is like spying on the kids....
The house is soooo great. I want it so bad... But I am afraid with this... Does anyone has an experience or opinion?
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I don't know about advice, but I can tell you we're in the same boat. Our house has two bedrooms upstairs and one down. Right now we're in the big upstairs room and DD is in the small one. We plan on starting adoption #2 this time next year so someone is going to have to move. We're not happy with any arrangement we come up with. If we're downstairs, DD and the new baby will be upstairs alone. If we're upstairs with the new baby, DD will be downstairs alone or vice versa. We may stay upstairs with DD in her room and a crib/bassinet in ours until the new baby gets a little older, but we're still going to end up with the same issue.In our case we're trying to sell our house and buy my grandmother's beautiful five bedroom down the road. But we can't buy until we sell and with the housing market the way it is....well, who knows?I think you might want to consult with the folks on the foster board about your concerns with being approved. My gut reaction is that it wouldn't stop the approval process. But they might be able to give you a better idea.
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We have a first floor master bedroom and I love it! Both my kids (6 and 3) are upstairs. We use a baby monitor in my 3 year old's room to hear him at night and we have a nightlight in the hall. When my 6 year old needs us, she either yells loudly or just comes downstairs and gets us. When she was a toddler, we had a gate at the top of the stairs since I worried about her falling down the stairs at night (you have to buy a gate that is specific for top of the stairs--many gates are only for the bottom of stairs).
We haven't had any problems with them being upstairs and us downstairs. And it's amazing how fast you can run upstairs when you need to!
Liz
If you are adopting from foster care, you'll likely have safety issues you would not ordinarily have. That being the case, you can do alarms on the bedroom doors, room monitors/video and audio. It's not spying, it's making sure everyone is safe if there is any issue at all. In fact, I would venture a guess that a social worker would be asking you how you'll keep an eye on the kids and recommend the monitors themselves.
Even without the foster care element....kids can sleepwalk, have nightmares, get sick, etc. and a monitor is a great way to be aware of these things so you can answer their needs in the middle of the night.
If you like the house...get it. :)
I would check what the rules are in your area before counting on using monitors in the room. We were specifically told that unless there is written permission from the social worker, they are not allowed in the room of any child over 12 months. Something about it violating their right to privacy, but thats just what we were told and I don't know what the rules in your area are.
We have a master down home as well, and two teenage boys (our nephews) upstairs. It wasn't a problem for the homestudy at all. We did have to tell her that we would use a monitor, and we did have gates at both the top AND bottom of the stairs. I don't know if it would be different with foster/adopt or not.
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My sister's house is built the same way and she couldn't stand her baby girl being upstairs, so they co-sleep now...which I'm not a big fan of but it is her business. Our house is all one level ranch but our master bedroom is still separated from all the other bedrooms; separated by our family room and the enormous kitchen, then the rest of the bedrooms all in a row. When our adopted son was an infant, we put him in our office which sits off to the side of the family room...but he is about 9 mos. now and we moved him around 7 mos. to the bedroom next to my 11 y.o. son's room; actually, they share a bathroom. We use a baby monitor and so far things are going great. We plan to add a basement eventually, so then we will have to worry about stairs, but I'm thinking my older son may want the basement bedroom anyway. The baby monitor is great; one morning my younger son threw up in his bed, but I heard him on the monitor and got in there before he could choke or anything. Good luck! Blessings, Michelle
Same situation here, master down and 3 rooms 2 baths up. When TJ was born, he stayed in our room for 6 months b/c I was terrified of moving him upstairs. So, we converted our study into a nursery! I am sooo happy with it. The teenager gets the upstairs and TJ is down with us. As for an agency saying it violates privacy after 12 months, that is insane, really insane. He is 19 months and like another poster, he vomited in his bed last week and it woke me up immediately. It is a safety issue.