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I have been preparing myself for this day, but I thought it would come during her teen/hormonal years, instead it arrived this week-end. She's 3.
She said: Mommy, I'm not your daughter! My heart dropped down to my stomach. I regained composure and asked in the calmest voice I could master: Really? then who's daughter are you? She replied: Mommy, I'm not your daughter, I'm Ariel! -as in the little mermaid.
My heart went back up!
:hissy: She almost gave me a heart attack! :hissy:
Cute :) Little did she know the racing heart she caused!
And, I wouldn't give it until the teen years for her to pull out the "You're not my real mother!!!!" card, but I'm glad it didn't happen at THREE!
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Ah God bless her. I freaked too when I read this. But that's just the cutest thing :-). I think it was Daniella's princess party that through the kids into a princess tailspin. My kiddo keeps running around saying she's a "pinsesss" and lives in a "pinsess cassell"
Lupe,
You scared the you know what out of me! LOL
I am happy she picked such a pretty mermaid to be tho!
LOL!! How funny!! I think Lori is right, our girls are on Princess overload after this weekend's party :) Daniella is already planning next years party! :eek: It'll take me that long to recover!
I know what you mean though! Daniella has told me that she wants a new Mommy cause I'm mean. Breaks my heart. She tells me this when she's mad at me. I tell her that she makes me sad when she says that and that I love her very much & once she's calmed down she'll tell me she loves me. It breaks my heart though.
Manny has never said anything like that to me...at least not yet...
Oh, my silly girl! She could've at least say "Mommy, I'm not Christina!" but no, she had to knock me off my socks!
I'm getting a little used to it, since she's been saying it at least 50 times a day. But now, she's not Ariel, she's just a mermaid.
This should prepare me right!?!
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One, this cracks me up because DD is OBSESSED with Ariel. The other day I said something about being her mama, and she said, "No...You Ursala, the mean, mean witch!" (I'm sure this is just the beginning of the hurtful comments...comes with the job! hahahah!).
hello,
my name is sephora, i'm a previous foster/adoptive child. i was 10 when i went into the system and 14 when i was adopted. i just wanted to say congradulations on adopting and everything finally panning out!! your a pretty amazing person to take that step and your daughters are beautiful :) i know that since i don't know you i really don't have the right or place to say anything, but i just want to tell you a secret that will save your relationship with your daughter once she is older and decides to have contact with her birth parents: as hard as it will be, just be supportive and give her the space she WILL need. its going to be scary for you and you will be afraid of losing her because she will be excited and eager to know her biological family. but just be patient, you daughter knows how much you love her and although she may be an emotional wreck (depending on the type of people her biological family is) just knowing you are her shoulder when she needs to cry will smooth the process-remember it will be hard for her too! but i promise you that if you support her and let her know that no matter what happens you are always going to be there, you will be the one she comes to when times get tough and your relationship will be stronger! you are going to feel like you have to share being mommy, and that might be the case at first, but most children don't have a lasting relationship with their birthparents and if your daughter knows that you aren't supportive then she will feel lost when things don't pan out and then she won't turn to you either, she will just be angry and hurt. so remember to be supportive, that doesn't mean you can't give adivse when she asks you or when needed, but don't be insensitive. if you keep this in mind then maybe your relationship will end up better than mine did- i don't have any contact with my adoptive parents, its been a year so far. good luck and congradulations again! enjoy the precious years :)
sephora-
Thank you! I'm sorry that your relationship with your aparents are a little sour at the moment. I'm sure that your parent love you, I don't know if your relationship fell apart after you went into reunion with your bparents, but if that was the case, I think that they just weren't prepared to deal with that.
I'm hoping and praying that I'm prepared for when the times comes. After all, adoption was not their choice, I chose to have children because I wanted to empty myself of this love, that so far seems to be a bottomless pit, the more I love them, the more love I find to give them.
I pray that God gives me the wisdom to help them, to guide them, to support them, to understand them, and to know that they will continue to love me as their mother.
I hope that when the day comes, I can compose myself and calmy give them the space they would need to decipher their feelings.
loveajax-
I haven't gotten the honorable title of Sea Witch YET!
Now she's taken to saying that her little sister is not my daughter either. She asks her sister who she is. My little one just looks at her and doesnt' get it.
I'm sure I'll be Ursula soon enough!
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athikers
Cute :) Little did she know the racing heart she caused!
And, I wouldn't give it until the teen years for her to pull out the "You're not my real mother!!!!" card, but I'm glad it didn't happen at THREE!
Whenever it happens it might be too soon!
My heart sometimes aches that she didn't come from my tummy.
Oh MY!!!! I bet you did have heart sink. We have been blessed with three children through foster to adopt. We got our daughter Kayla, now 6 , at birth. She was handed to me straight from the hospital, never even being held by her birth mother. We also were blessed with twins Ethan and Evie, now 4,( first at age 3 weeks, returned to birthmother due to incorrect note taking by hospital note taking and then back into our care )at 5 months . While we have never made it a secret they were adopted, we have not yet sat down and explained to them what "adoption" really is. The main reason is because our 6 year old is VERY BRIGHT and I know the day will come when she is mad at me that she will say "You're not my real mommy". I will die when she says that to me. :( So for now, we are still ooking for the perfect time to explain it to her.
yanknrebel
yanknrebel
Oh MY!!!! I bet you did have heart sink. We have been blessed with three children through foster to adopt. We got our daughter Kayla, now 6 , at birth. She was handed to me straight from the hospital, never even being held by her birth mother. We also were blessed with twins Ethan and Evie, now 4,( first at age 3 weeks, returned to birthmother due to incorrect note taking by hospital note taking and then back into our care )at 5 months . While we have never made it a secret they were adopted, we have not yet sat down and explained to them what "adoption" really is. The main reason is because our 6 year old is VERY BRIGHT and I know the day will come when she is mad at me that she will say "You're not my real mommy". I will die when she says that to me. :( So for now, we are still ooking for the perfect time to explain it to her.
yanknrebel
I got my fd straight from the hospital at 3 days old. We are finalizing adoption hopefully sept. 22 2008, I have given a LOT of thought of explaining it to her. I want her to grow knowing that she was adopted. I have a cartoon that she loves its mis spider sunny patch. it has one that deals with adoption. She watches that often. And when she is old enough I am going to let her know that she is my daughter by choice. I am gonna tell her that she was soooo special that I chose her. And even though she did not grow in my tummy she did grow in my heart. I am gonna let her know that I prayed, and cryed, and prayed some more until God seen fit that she be born to be my daughter.
anyone else have advice to tell them as they grow? I would love to know what everyone is saying
hermommy
And even though she did not grow in my tummy she did grow in my heart.
anyone else have advice to tell them as they grow? I would love to know what everyone is saying
:cheer: Congratulations on your upcoming finalization hearing :cheer:
For our adoption announcement I made a picture collage from the drive from the hospital to the adoption day. - with the words: You didn't grow in my womb, you grew in my heart. (One of these days I'll scan it and post it.)
Part of what I tell her about adoption is that she adopted me (I was so nervous during the adoption hearing that my hands were literally shaking, I had to stop to make them stop shaking, when I started signing again, my daughter grabbed the pen and helped me sign.)
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One_Happy_Momma
:cheer: Congratulations on your upcoming finalization hearing :cheer:
Thank you so much.
What I have told my foster kids is that I am not your dad. But I am your foster dad and I still.care about you.
They usually say this after you have disciplined them!