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We've had these 2 fc for a year now. It's been a very, very tough year. No headways with the parents. No headways with tpr. Currently we're waiting on FF hearing to take place, then it'll be another 30, 60, 90 days before we know what the judge's decision will be, then who knows how long before the boys will be RU'd or moved to foster/adopt home.The boys are difficult. They both enjoy riling up the family. I think I've posted about some of the frustrations we've had along the way.I'm fed up. I'm very tired of playing mediator between my bio-kids and the fkids. FS1 is 6 months younger than our youngest bs, making additional troubles with aggression, jealousy, etc.I want to tell the cw that we're done with these guys. How can I tell her without ticking her off? What do you say when you want out? We don't care if we never see another placement. We aren't even sure we'll renew our license this year.We're just burned out. We've had respite. We have been getting respite once a month for the last 3 months or so, but always at the end of the respite weekend, none of us wants to go pick them up again. We're sick of this and sick of them.Both boys are super difficult and we have to be hyper-vigilant because they like trouble... I'm frustrated!! Yes, I have been telling the cw and documenting. But I feel like she's not taking me seriously.HELP...
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Been there, done that. FS was moved to foster/adopt home 3 weeks ago......it has been the most peaceful 3 weeks I can remember. Sad, but true.
He, himself, was not a bad child but just did not mesh with my two boys and we too aren't sure we and our kids are cut out for this anymore. We are going to do respite for him. We've been doing this for two years but we aren't sure we will renew in October either.
Don't feel guilty. Just state the facts as you have here to the CW and tell him/her that you would like the boys moved by XX date. Set it a few weeks out and tell the CW that you want a family found this week so they can go spend the night a few times as a transition period. If they don't, still stick to your date of XX.
PM if you want more details or read my thread about feeling like losers.
[url]http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/332563-choosing-disrupt-feeling-like-real-losers-long.html[/url]
I promise what I wrote and the responses I got will make you feel better and give you some ideas on what to do and say.
Kim
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We have had our foster daughter for eight months and this is our first placement. We have tried everything with her but her parents are not consistant and her behavior is awful. I had to call today and tell them to find her a new home. I hate to disrupt it but its going to be best. Maybe thats whats best. Thoughts are with you.
It is very hard to do long-term placements as there is no light at the end of the tunnel. No one seemed to have answers to our questions. Parents were not doing anything towards caseplan, yet we were living in reunification/cancelled visit limbo. And I say WE because not just this child was living in limbo our entire household was and I'm not sure I was prepared for that. They wanted us at all the staffings yet little got discussed or decided. I did most of the talking it seemed and the GAL and CASA would back me up and then nothing changed.
I think it takes a very special person or someone looking to eventually adopt to do long-term and I am not that "special" I think. I need guidelines, dates, information.......so do the kiddos.
Kim
THANK YOU Kim. I do feel like a total loser. But just knowing that tomorrow I plan to talk to the caseworker (or her manager if she's not there) has given us something to hope for again! And we can already feel the freedom. We aren't decided about relinquishing our license... I'd hate for this episode to be the only one we remember about fostering. But one thing's for sure, the boys have to go. I'm gonna go read your other thread that you mentioned.
Good luck with your discussion and getting the children moved.
I completely understand... many of us foster parents have been in a similar situation where one more day just isn't possible, hanging on by a thread is no way for a household to function. The worse is when the cw dismisses your frustration.
Just wanting to send you a little support.:grouphug:
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GaViolet, Ranoutofnames and Kim... your support makes me feel better. I'm still dreading the meeting today, but I used some of the responses on the Kim's other thread to get me ready. :-) I hope it goes smoothly. So far, the cw has just brushed off my frustrations when i've talked to her about it. I am putting together photo books for the boys. I think I'm gonna miss them worse than I thought I would!
Its hard when you're doing the books... because what do you see? Happy, fun times. Its not, here's a picture of kiddo haven't a meltdown for the 25 day in a row. Its here's a picture of kiddo snuggling the dog (or whatever). Our Teeter leaves tomorrow after 10 months with us. A very big part of me does not want him to go... but a small part of me is ready. Its okay to have mixed emotions.