Need to post a good update about J.

I switched to posting on the Special Needs board, because there is more traffic there. But J truly is an older child adoption picture. So I thought I'd come back and post an update here as well. I'm afraid to even say it....least I jinx him. But right now he's doing SO WELL. I just want to shout it from the roof tops!!! I'm going to give a bit of history to catch some of you up. My Dh was his football coach....has known him since he was 15. He was diagnosed was AML (Leukemia) his Freshman year of high school. He spent a month on a ventilator and just nearly died. He Wrestled while still on chemo and was just incredibly ill. January of his Sophmore year, the day after he found out he was in remission, his Mom told him she was going to move to PA to live with a man she met on the internet. And he was going to have to find another place to live. He avoided Foster Care because he Mom signed over Temp Guardianship to whomever he was living with. He went through 7 homes (including his grandparents) in the next year a half. He asked to live with us twice during that time, but both times we had issues with our other kids and couldn't do it. Finally at the beginning of his Senior year, he was living in his car. He'd run out of places, and he came to live with us. That was almost a year ago and we had SOOO many ups and downs. He came to us addicted to Marijuana. He was using it to cope with his pain. Twice he stormed out and left us because he didn't want to follow our rules and wanted to be "free". We always kept the door open, but never bent on our expectations. He got in trouble with the law twice for smoking pot. But he did manage to stay clean long enough to get to go to the State Wrestling tournament....which was a huge accomplishment. I did alot of work for him this Spring and Summer getting him set where he could go to college for free. He decided twice he wasn't going to go, but we continued talking to him about it. He really wanted to live on his own, and we explained that we'd help him do that and he could live on his own and still be a part of our family. He messed up again really badly a few weeks after he graduated.....he partied in our house while we were gone and broke basically every rule we had. So I kicked him out....he was 18 at that point and graduated from high school. And if he couldn't respect our property and our rules more than that he didn't need to live with us. It was really, really hard to do!!!! And I did not see or even hear much from him for probably six weeks. He would answer my husband's call and texts, but not mine. And that was all very hard on me. But after 8 weeks of staying whereever he could and sometimes in his car, he got tired and came "home". He was exhausted and dirty and hungry. That was probably a month ago. I helped him find an apartment, and he agreed to let me help him manage his money...get his court costs paid off. And we are using what's left of his college money to pre-pay a small apartment for him for the year. So now he has his own place. His fines are almost paid off. We are establishing a good young-adult relationship with him. He gave us the extra key to his apartment. He starts junior college next week. I'm going over there tonight to drop off a used lap-top we bought for him, a new tee-shirt and a spice rack (he wants to be a chef). I'm so proud of him. The last year was so, so, so hard on me emotionally. He did alot of push-pull with us. He wanted what our family had to offer, but he was afraid of it because of trust issues. We've been through alot together and have a deep connection now. And he's probably going to screw up again. It's a rollercoaster....lots of ups and downs. I know that. But I have great hope for him. :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: