Do you have to have open adoption when you are foster to adopt?

You don't have to, but it may make your wait longer. Offering the birth parents an open adoption agreement is about the only leverage the state has if TPR is contested. Many cases are settled short of a TPR trial and settlement depends on the terms of the open adoption agreement. Also - if there are any siblings, it may be difficult to have a closed adoption. There are also many ways to have an open adoption. Some have visits, some don't. Some have direct contact, some email, some only through PO Box. Some include other family members, some don't. When you are adopting through foster care you do often know something about the birth parent's history and the issues that led to the child being removed from their custody. Plus - once you adopt you are in control of the openness of the adoption, if the birth parents are out of line in any way, you can close it. I had my doubts about open adoption until I talked with a friend who has three open adoptions (with varying degrees of success). We adopted less than one year ago and I am glad that we chose an open adoption. I am glad that we are leaving his birth mom the option of being in his life. I think it is most likely that his birth mom will not be able to follow through on the contacts in the long run (which is common in foster to adopt cases). What are your concerns about open adoption?

We are also looking to adopt through fostering. For us it depends on the circumstances of why there was TPR and what would be int eh best interest of the child(it should always be about that). If there was TPR for extreme behaviors by the parents that were harmful to the child, then we would probably be looking at closed. Each case is so different when it comes to fostering/adoption. I would say that if a parent were incarcerated or had a drug problem, etc, then we would not be opposed to an semi-open with pics and possible other info, but we would probably not do any kind of visits.

It may depend on where you live. In my county in Florida they don't do conditional surrenders. Which means they can not be promised anything for giving up their rights, this includes the promise of an open adoption. I would say that 90% of the adoptions in our county are closed.

You would have to check with your local agency to know what they do/don't require. This is a relatively new trend, I think, and you may find your state only does closed anyway. In your thinking and any conversations with social services, be sure to be clear about whether you are talking about an open adoption or an open adoption agreement. The first does NOT require the second. If you are talking about an OA agreement, be sure to be clear about whether or not it can be or is binding in your state. Before signing anything committing you to an OA agreement, have your own adoption lawyer explain it to you. DO NOT depend on social services workers or lawyers for life-altering legal advice. An open adoption does NOT require any kind of formalized or binding agreement or any agreement at all between first and adoptive parents. If you have a way to contact the first parents, you can offer or deliver (via updates) any degree of openness you want--you do not have to come to any agreement. If they ask you to stop, you stop, but you do not have to accommodate or compromise on anything you don't want to do. Agreements are binding in some states, not in others. Facilitated or voluntary agreements are sometimes not binding in the same state in which a mediated agreement is binding. Again, you need your own lawyer to steer you through if you get involved in any of these processes. Personally, while I think openness can be very beneficial for many children in many situations, and I have no problem with stating an intention to try to keep an adoption open to some degree, I do not think binding OA agreements are in the interest of any child. Parents are absolutely responsible for the safety, health, and welfare of their children; binding agreements take away their ability to parent responsibly under changing life conditions and circumstances. I wouldn't sign a document binding my child to associate with anyone. When such agreements are quid pro quo for the delivery of a child, I think they are unethical, too. I do not approve of social service agencies that pressure potential adoptive parents into signing such agreements so that the state can save the expense of a TPR trial. If you are in a program and you are receiving training, all this information should be a part of that training. Still, if you get into an actual f-a situation and this comes up, please safeguard yourself and the child by getting advice from your own lawyer. Good luck on your adoption journey.

I agree....some states don't offer "conditional" TPR's. I know in Idaho they wouldn't allow it for biomom when she voluntarilly surrendered. That can be done on the side if you so desire, however it's not required.

They don't do this in IN, but I would encourage you to consider it on a case by case basis. My girls could use more info now even though I was dead set against it when I first adopted. We do share pics and letters with K's biodad. He really cares about K, but is mentally ill, can't care for him, and has no one to help him. The kid's biomom has a lot of problems, but at this point in time I would share letters and pics with her.

I have some friends that have a very wonderful open adoption with their dd's birthmom. It can work.

We were recently told to start thinking about the level of openness we would be comfortable with. The problem is that I'm just not very comfortable! I was very lucky to have the opportunity to speak privately with the judge in our kids' case. He questioned me about openness. I told him it depends on what is safe for our kids. No safety, no openness. Period. That said, I really believe that the bio family loves our kiddos, they just make really poor choices. A lot. This case is going to TPR trial at the end of next month. I think if it goes all the way, then I get to decide how open we will be. I may be wrong, though. But I do believe that the family deserves to know that the kids are well and happy. I think the kids deserve to know that their family loves them. I may need to know medical stuff later. Who knows? I'm skittish about it, but I know I'm going to offer letters and pictures. My problem is with the visits. At this point the family does not know where we are. The cw is there to make sure we make a clean "getaway" before they come out. I just don't want to be constantly looking over my shoulder. While likeable, these people are not......um.......you know. I would not choose them as friends. I feel for you. It's hard.

Thank you all for your responses via advice, opinions and experiences. We have a lot to consider going forward... I do want whats best for my child in the end.