I want to get a head start.Any advice?

I haven't posted here in awhile but I was browsing around and thought I would offer some advice. mjc, I understand your enthusiasm and eagerness to adopt (and your concerns) but I would caution you against getting ahead of yourself. I've done this myself. My nearly 5 year old is adopted and my wife and I also have a 16mo old. The adoption of my older son was done entirely "pro se" (that is to say without a lawyer). We ended up researching all the statutes and got appropriate papers, social studies, and notaries and filed at the country clerks office and then went to court for the final judgement where adoption was granted. However, you must be married "at least" 6 months in most states before you can do any of this. In addition you will almost certainly need bio's consent in the form of a "consent to terminate parental rights" document except in the most egregious of circumstances. I know it can sound bad but seriously before you embark on this journey without getting the bio's consent (which may be very possible with some prodding and negotiating) please realize that in order to terminate parental rights without a formal notarized consent you need to ask yourself (honestly) if the situation is truly that egregious for the child that a court would force termination. Even if that is so then you complicate your entire court filing 10 fold without having the consent. If you can get a consent then you essentially have a slam dunk and it's a fairly easy 2-3 month court filing process and then you go in front of a judge. This all consists of filing the notarized consent to terminate rights, the adoption petition, various statute required documents, criminal background checks, social study, and some filing fees. Many county clerks offices will provide the social study and background check in the filing fee. They will also offer a ton of advice if you just ask. The longest portion of this process is the social study and the background checks (6-8 weeks for both). You said you are in a long distance relationship with a girlfriend? Please realize that you are in no way near anything considered appropriate for adoption. You need to be married and in a bona fide "living together" situation (this is for your sake too - not just the courts - this is my personal advice to you). These things allow not only the court to see that you are fit as a family unit and that you are good provider but it also lets you see if this is really what you desire personally. Adoption is no simple matter or something to take lightly and you have a long way to go before you can even think about adopting. It is a forever thing. Keep this in mind. You can't just walk away later or you will be just like this guy you are talking about. You strike me as a younger person and please, please take a long hard look at what you are about to embark upon. Don't let the early feelings of a relationship cause you to do something you may regret (I don't regret what I did but I thought very long and hard about it - and make no mistake you will have many emotional battles to fight with yourself through this process - I have and we all have that have gone down this road). If this is what you want then I do not want to deter you but I want to prepare you for what lies ahead. Marriage, children (compounded with adoption), being a "step-parent" in the beginning, etc... are all very burdensome things. For a young person I would never wish such a situation upon them; it can be brutal to your emotions at times. If you do go down this road and end up being married, fall in love with this child, and want to adopt then try beyond all things to get the absent bio parent to consent in writing and get it notarized. This will be your most important piece of paper bar none. You could write the rest on a napkin that is barely legible but you MUST have this consent for things to go smoothly. I can't stress that enough. Good luck and I wish you the best.