Thinking about fost-adopt....

Good Luck - I have heard nothing but great things about them - Kinda wish I went thru them myself

Congrats! Yes, it does happen very fast. It is quite amazing.

I have a question. When DYFS calls you about a child and you accept how fast do you need to go pick the child up? Also since I work full time will the child already be set up in child care or do I have to go and find the day care for the child while I am at work? Thanks.

First you need to think about the age range you will looking for. Remember that most daycares only take babies that are six weeks and older. I do not reccommend passing up a baby just because a daycare provider will not take him or her. See about finding temporary care with a relative or friend if you are not planning on taking time off. I would start looking for daycare centers as soon as you start the class. It takes time to find the right center, visit and work out pricing. Remember that DYFS only pays for a portion of the childcare costs and you must pay the rest. As the kids get older the stipend goes down. Some places have a waiting list. The place I wanted to put my son in had one. Some places let you put your child on the waiting list before you get one because adoption is tricky in that way. You just don't know when the child is coming. If they call you for a spot and you don't have a child yet, they will call the next person. As far as when you need to pick the baby up...If the child is a newborn in a hospital and healthy, they will want you to pick up ASAP. Each day in the hospital costs money so they want the babies home. After I had my son, I got the call for his bio sister unexpectedly. I was not fostering or waiting for any more children. They called me to see if I wanted her out of the blue and then told me they HAD to drop her off the next day. Here I was a single mom with a one year old and they were dropping off a newborn the next day. No planning or anything. Let me tell you how fast my heart was pounding. They gave me money for a double stroller and had a brand new crib delivered before she even got to the house. If you are getting a child that is not a newborn, you may get a call and they may want you to take the child that day. It does happen pretty fast. If you are open to race and gender it can happen even faster.

If DYFS only pays for a portion of the childcare costs then why cant I put the child in a daycare that isnt state licensed then? I have a friend that runs a day care but shes not state licensed. I am looking for an infant to a 3 yr old. But I am fostering so obviously I cant be taking time off every time I get a foster in case I dont wind up adopting that particular foster. Kim

Are you just fostering or are you fost/adopt? Either way, there is always a chance of reunification but still the chances are higher for adoption when you do fost/adopt.You can't put a foster child in an unlicensed home just like you can't be an unlicensed foster parent. When a home is licensed the home is evaluated and the person/people in the home are given a background check. This is very important for foster children as they have been taken from their bio parents to be placed into a safer environment. The state has to make sure that daycare providers have been checked out like anyone else.I do not believe it is hard to be licensed though. I would call the local agency your county uses (mine is Childcare Connections) and ask what someone needs to do to be licensed. Keep in mind that the stipend for a home provider is even lower than a facility. For instance I found a home provider who was licensed when my son was born. The only paid like 500 per month and I had to pay the girl the rest. When I switched him to a facility, they paid like 620 or something. It is a BIG help but considering many facilities cost between 800 and 1100 dollars per month per child, you still end up paying out of pocket.But you also get the monthly subsidy on top of the childcare subsidy, so there is always that.Edited to add: I could not find anyone to just accept the subsidy and not require the rest paid by me, except for the YMCA. When I enrolled my son there they did not require me to pay the rest. They just took the subsidy. However I was not happy there and moved my kids.

Kim, Beth and Pat are wonderful, knowlegeable ladies, and they will be your best resource. They will patiently explain everything to you and reassure you every step of the way. This is an exciting yet scary time; you're on the brink of a whole new adventure in life! You don't have to figure it all out at once. You can do this; Pat and Beth will help you.

Yes, Pat and Beth will help you. I just know that I like to have a lot of information as soon as possible. I have spoken at a few of their classes and it is always nice to share good info. with people on the same path I took. Everyone always loved seeing my babies as well. I think it gives you hope to see them.

After I had my son, I got the call for his bio sister unexpectedly. I was not fostering or waiting for any more children. They called me to see if I wanted her out of the blue and then told me they HAD to drop her off the next day. Here I was a single mom with a one year old and they were dropping off a newborn the next day. No planning or anything. Let me tell you how fast my heart was pounding. They gave me money for a double stroller and had a brand new crib delivered before she even got to the house. If you are getting a child that is not a newborn, you may get a call and they may want you to take the child that day. It does happen pretty fast. If you are open to race and gender it can happen even faster.[/QUOTE] Was it totally crazy caring for a 1 yr. old and a newborn?? How did you manage?? How did the 1 yr. old cope with a new baby...sorry so many questions! I'm asking because my little man who is almost 1 is getting some new siblings soon and I wonder if I will get a call...I would love to take in a sibling of his, but his needs have to come first. I know there are lots of other families that would love a newborn!

I was VERY scared. I knew that I wanted a girl someday. I thought that maybe I would start calling for a girl in another year and a half or two or maybe foster some babies just to see what happened but NEVER really expected to get a call for my son's sibling. His bio mom just took off one day when he was six months old. I kind of imagined she could be pregnant again and trying to keep it from DYFS but I always blew that idea off.Well here it was summer. I am a teacher and was preparing my classroom for September when I get home and hear a message on my machine. I can barely hear it as it is a bad connection. But sure enough, they told me his bio mom had another baby and it was a girl. Pretty much cut and dry adoption. I was SO scared.My whole family thought I was nuts for adopting one baby on my own and I knew they would flip if they heard I was getting another. I was so scared to ask my family what they thought so I didn't. The state needed their answer. In fact they told me that they had called me the day before and since they could not reach me they promised the baby to another couple. Once I heard that I became upset. So I made a few phone calls and they called back and said she was mine. I pretty much just made a decision for a second child within 15 minutes!!!They told me they had to drop her off the next day. Here I had no consulted anyone. Not a friend or family member. I swear I did feel a bit sick to my stomach. I ran out and bought a few pink outfits and sheets and then went home to make room for a crib.It was hard with two little ones not walking. Going out was a big ordeal. Not getting sleep and having to handle two little ones was tough. At first I worried that my son would not get the attention he deserved but that was such a silly concern. Both of them got lots of attention from me and my family AND they get to grow up with a biological family member which I think is huge for them. I would do it again any day of the week. They are now three and four and VERY active. It is tiring but they are my miracles. It can be done.

Thanks guys I feel alot better. I am going to stop stressing and take it a day at a time. I am starting my training on 1/21 with Just Babies. Its a long ride but I hear its well worth the distance. Kim

BethanyB- thanks for sharing your story with me (us)! I'm not sure what will happen with my little man's new siblings...I guess time will tell. I hope his bios will be able to parent, though. But, if history is any predictor of the future... I trained through Just Babies, too...I'm wondering if you spoke at our training: Fall '07?

No I didn't do it in 07. I spoke once when my son was like nine months old. I always bring my kids with me. He is AA. He was walking around the room by holding on to things. That was in 05 Then when my son's bio sis was placed with me I also spoke at the class. I brought both kids in a big twin stroller. That must have been in 06. I spoke twice in 06 I believe. They asked me to come again for another class short notice and I could not make it. When I was taking the classes, I loved when people came in to share their stories with their kids. Asking all of those questions was wonderful and getting to see the actual children - the goal of the whole experience - was great.

Except for our adoptive placement, I seriously don't think I've ever had more than 2 days notice and usually same-day notice. I had one placement discharged from the hospital to my home and DYFS brought the child to me (I had to do the discharge instructions over the phone--they HAD to speak to the caregiver). We've had: 10yo fd, 8yo fd & 4yo bs 4yo bs & newborn (stayed this way for 6mo) 12yo fs, 4yo bs & 6mo fd 4yo bs, 7mo fd & 3wk fs It's all been okay. Of course, a double snap-n-go was pretty helpful for that last configuration of kids! We've had them come within 4 hours of calling. Subject to our agreement, of course. Also, they always bring the fosters to you because they need to check your home for sleeping arrangements and food. With adoptive placements, they usually hold your supervisory meeting AT your home--so picking them up is another story. I haven't met anyone yet (in NJ) that went to pick up foster placements...? And I've had them from 3 different counties.

Does Just Babies still exist? We did their training in 2001 and later moved out of state. Now we are back in NJ and need to redo our home study for foster adoption in state. Are there other similar agencies? What is the local state agency like? How long does it take to get a home study done now? We are in Essex County. Thank you.