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I am meeting my 18 year old son for the first time next week and am at a loss as to what, if anything, I should bring as a gift (since next week will be Christmas). Would a Christmas gift be appropriate, or would a card suffice? I thought of the book " The Primal Wound" but am not sure that would be appropriate either.
I would probably be more able to decide and have more of a clear head if I was not so nervous and terrified at the same time!!
I would think you should give him nothing - the gift of meeting you should be enough.
I also wonder if giving something at the first meeting would be like "buying" him.
I'd meet him. AFTER that send an Xmas card or something.
For an 18 year old I always think gift cards unless you know him well enough to know what he's into... BUT again I think in this situation it might feel like you're buying his attention.
Maybe at the meeting when you talk you'll hear something that will make you want to buy something... Maybe he'll tell you how he really wants to build a sky scraper and you could get him a book about that (silly example but you get my idea). :)
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Hi Lost,
First, congratulations on your upcoming reunion with your son. I hope it is a wonderful experience.
Now, as to the gift.
First, do not give him The Primal Wound. I am speaking to you as an adoptee that reunited at 39 years old, and I can tell you, that was a very hard read for me. At 18 he is no where near ready to read that.
I would bring him a scrap book of your life. Pictures of any siblings, maybe a few notes about what he meant to you (not too heavy).
Honestly, the greatest gift you can give him is to prepare yourself for this reunion rollercoaster ride you are about to experience.
All the best
Kim
Thank you for the advice, as it and it is of great help to me during this emotionally charged experience of reunion. I truly appreciate it~
Congratulations on your upcoming meeting. The first meeting is always a very exciting time.
I had given my son a framed verse that I had come across at a Christian gift store. The verse seemed to be very fitting & was something personable from me.
A gift isn't necessary, and I wouldn't worry about searching for the perfect gift. There will be plenty of opportunities to get him gifts later. Just the opportunity to meet and get to know each other is a gift in itself. Make sure to bring along your camera so you can get pictures of the two of you together.