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Where to begin?
If you were 17 months old, taken into CPS, then put into 2 foster homes, while you visited with your bio parents, your maternal aunt whom you lived with for the first 10 months of your life visited and requested placement repeatedly since day 1, you became settled in your foster home which was 12 hours away from your aunt but same state............. (a year passes)
parents lost rights but signed you over to your maternal aunt FIRST (designated relinquishment)......foster parents hired attorney to fight for adoption.
Would you WANT your aunt, whom you love and RUN to each time she visits calling her by name, to continue to fight for you?
Foster parents seem a little (OK a lot) controlling, (they filed for a restraining order against bio mom and did NOT win it due to lack of proof). Fighting is getting costly both financially and emotionally. The trips take 3 plus days if they are quick. AND the 5 kids at home with your aunt and uncle are getting tired of your aunt being gone. They LOVE and MISS you very much and want to be there for you, but wonder what is the RIGHT thing to do.
Right FEELS like fighting but things look grim, even though they are approved for adoption and named by State Adoptions as prospective adoptive parents, (yeah some courts are NOT very good giving relatives preference).
I am the aunt and LOVE this little boy as if he were my own. We have a HUGE bio family that he will miss out on. TWO bio siblings in the same town as him that the foster parents have never taken him to see, the 10 months he has been with them. I have taken them out together so they can play. I keep a relationship with the adoptive parents of those siblings (paternal grandparents, NOT related to this nephew).
How would you feel knowing that the bio family WANTED and fought for you but the adoptive parents kept you from them?
THANKS to all;)
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I see by your tagline that the assessment was done at UC Davis. Your nephew isn't being kept hostage by Yuba County by any chance, is he? Yuba County has pulled this kind of stunt before.
Keep to your guns. I've been following your story since you joined up here, and I admire your tenacity. I would do the same thing for my nephew if I were in your shoes.
What has happened in this case is totally nuts, and personally I think the caseworker needs to be reprimanded. I hope your little guy comes home to you soon.
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Honestly, it would depend on why I was put in CPS custody in the first place. Then again, I say that with the perspective of an adult, not a child. It also depends on your nephew's makeup. Some adoptees don't dwell much on circumstances, they just take life as it goes. Others feel a very strong pull towards their biological family.
This case sounds like it might relate to you, and it is in California too![url=http://news.adoption.com/out/mother-files-legal-appeal-to-have-her-child-adopted-local-news-ventura-county-star]Adoption.com - Mother files legal appeal to have her child adopted : Local News : Ventura County Star[/url]Ordinarily, I favor foster parents, but since you were the first "foster parents" I think you should have the right -- in fact, you should have had it many months ago.
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Fight! I would try to see if you can find and ally in your states child protective services. A friend of mine that works in our cps service locally says that Oregon does recognize this as a problem that many foster parents do not realize their primary responsibility is to assist in bring a child back to his biological parents, and that priority should be given to biological adoptions. Sadly it sounds like California is behind the times in their thinking. As an adoptee I was adopted by my aunt, it turned out badly, but I think from my state's perspective they made the right choice. You read all the heartache on this site from adoptee, if given the choice of family, granted it was a healthy relationship and a stable home I think most of us would chose the aunt. I have 3 sons, and I could not imagine the heartache you must have felt losing him so young, I have 10 month old twin sons and I'd pity the person that would try to take them from me. See if there are any resources, right congressmen, look for any obscure law you can find, and if you can do it without bankruping yourself I would fight. Given what you said, being raised by an aunt, with contact from biological sibblings, growing up knowing family history and most of all by such a loving mother sounds like what would be best for your son. Take care and good luck.
I agree. Fight. Fight if it wont bankrupt your family. I would also call your Senator and Congressman and see if you can get some help from their office. Go on the internet and find anything that will help your case. I live in Texas and my Senator is Kay Baily Hutchinson. She is a bulldog when she needs to be. Texas also has a website--Texas Family Laws. See if CA has one. I would educate myself so thoroughly that my own attorney would be amazed!! Look to see if CPS is violating any federal laws. Search EVERYTHING, print all and good luck in your fight.
Keep us informed. Is their anyone on this site that is an attorney and familar with CA laws that can help tellcantbymeluv what she should be "looking for" to win this case?
All of you, thank you! I am the Aunt FIGHTING for my nephew! I am STILL FIGHTING! I am tired but I won't stop. I just want to feel good that "he" would want me to fight. I realize he is only 2 now, but by getting opinions of others and my "gut" is that he will want to be with family. He loves us, we LOVE him! I LOVE HIM! I just don't want to hurt him..........in any way.
I have no idea what it would be like to be adopted. I can only imagine. Just like bio-families, I bet there is the good and the bad side of everything. Things are getting close to the end and pretty rough. I spend more days crying over the HUGE injustice of it all.
THANKS for the input, I am forever grateful.
I have found the family codes that are needed but so far NONE that can outrank the one being used by the foster parents' attorney. It is the 366.26(n) my attorney thought that the 366.26(k) would beat that one but so far the judge didn't even blink. Having the fosterparents named as prospective parents by the court has given them the upperhand again! To remove a child from the prospective adoptive parents, you HAVE to prove SERIOUS detriment to the child. OUR detriment being the biofamily contact. Really, that is not much to hang your hat on, when you think the judge has already made up his mind. We have a chance but my attorney feels less than optimistic.
All cases that CAN be cited in court must be grandfathered or Shepherdized (spelling?) by the courts, must be 1 year old. (This is what I am told.) So as I look, these are things I have to consider.
THANK YOU and I will continue to check back for input. I am pushing with our new assembly member, but he is new. They live in the first district and I in the 21st. Our Governor also knows about me, and is on my list to recontact. Also the Foster Family Ombudsman is well aware of the case.
I have gotten this far by SCREAMING but it is too near the end, to take chances. The relinquishments SHOULD have been taken more seriously and now........I am very worried. As I fought, I tried to keep it about his best interests, I really REALLY want him to be OK. To be safe, feel loved, feel part of a bigger piece but also an individual. I NEVER EVER want him to think we didn't want him, that would be awful.
As far as him being removed from my sister's care........she is a drug addict. VERY sad but true. She and the father both are. The charges were for neglect due to drug addiction, homelessness (couch hopping), etc. Those were her problems and not mine.
I am an approved & qualified relative. I had no clue how to navigate the CPS process, and it scares me that MANY others may suffer due to the same lack of direction. I hired my attorney in July or August and REALLY with hindsight should have done it the DAY my nephew was taken into custody. It should not be this hard for relatives/families.
For any of you who were out of foster care, I hope you know that there was probably family members who wanted you.....who tried.....who may have lost.......or who may have thought that they were doing you a favor by letting you stay in a home that you knew. SAD that it could come down to that.
Thanks again, I will keep coming back;)
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